The Edge Of Greatness
by HeyThereSummerBoy
Summary: What if things went downhill that night at Scandals? What if Sebastian was there to save Kurt? What if a friendship friendship of sorts was founded the two? What if Kurt and Sebastian helped each other face their demons? What if two unlikely allies fell in-love?
1. Chapter 1

**_Hey guys :) Okay, this is my first Kurtbastian fic ever. Like I'm terrified to post this because reasons. I hate to say it, but my Klaine fic is on a bit of a hiatus after the break-up. I have no inspiration, nor desire to write For Anyone But myself at the current moment. On the brighter side of things, I've been writing this since before I started with FABM so a lot of it is written, though not particularly in the order you'd like for it to be written. I can not tell you when I will update, but I can tell you that I will try my utmost hardest to update every two weeks. With that said, I hope you enjoy this and that you stick around for more chapters. Wish me luck? And I'm sorry this is short. I'll try make longer chapters for future reference._**

**_(tumblr me; justyoursummergirl . tumblr. com[without the spaces of course])_**

**_heytheresummerboy xxxo_**

* * *

**Chapter 1**

"This is the best night of my life. I wanna live here. I wanna live here, and I just wanna make art and help people." Blaine says excitedly with a glint of enthusiasm in his eyes.

Kurt catches Blaine and chuckles as his boyfriend stumbles over a stone. "Whoa there, at least you'll be able to help homeless people make fires with your breath."

"Hey come on, I only had one beer!" Blaine whines.

Something changes in Blaine's eyes and he presses Kurt against the latter's Navigator. "Kiss me," he puckers his lips slightly.

"Oh no, no, no I don't think so."

"Aw, come on Kurt. Just one itty bitty kiss."

"Blaine, I'm not going to kiss you." Blaine continues to pout and muster his puppy eyes.

"Nah uh, I don't think so Blaine. Maybe tomorrow if you're still alive. Because I'm pretty sure the amount of alcohol you consumed is deadly."

"One beer Kurt. Just one beer is all I had."

"I'm sure." Kurt mutters sarcastically as he opens his car and helps Blaine in.

"Babe, lay down so you don't vomit in my car." Kurt pulls out of the car, but before he can get out Blaine's hands catch his hips and he is suddenly pulled forward - flush on top of Blaine.

"Blaine!" he is surprised at the amount of strength Blaine is using to hold him down on top of him.

"Let's do it, Kurt. I want you so badly." Before Kurt knows it, Blaine's hands start roaming downwards.

"Hold hands, hold hands!" Kurt shouts as he laces his fingers with Blaine's. Blaine uses this as some kind of leverage and he manages to turn them over so that Kurt is lying underneath him instead of the other way round.

"But Kurt, I want you right now." Blaine's eyes darken.

"Blaine, get off of me! I've never wanted to be less intimate with a person, and it's either you're too drunk to notice or you just don't care. Get the fuck off me."

Blaine's eyes continue to darken as he moves an arm up to hold both of Kurt's hands up. "Do you know how sexy you are when you swear? That mouth of yours is sexy. I bet it could do a lot of sexy things, don't you think Kurt?"

Kurt is terrified at this point and he has started crying. He doesn't want to think the worst of his dapper, charming, and gentle boyfriend, but it seemed as though all the prior ideas he's had planted in his head about Blaine Anderson are wrong.

"Blaine, please." Kurt's body is shaking with gut-wrenching sobs.

"Is it because you think I'm not sexy?" Blaine whispers in Kurt's ear.

Kurt shivers in fear. "Please don't do this to me."

"For 9 months we've dated and I haven't gone anywhere below your belt. Do you know what a tease you are? You and your painted on skinny jeans. I just wanted to bend you over a table-" a loud sob escapes Kurt's throat as he tries his utmost hardest to get his hands released from Blaine's grip.

"Aw baby, why are you crying? You're going to enjoy this, I promise you."

Kurt closes his eyes and prepares himself for the worst, but after a few seconds he feels Blaine shift completely off him.

_Maybe if I work fast enough I can get out of the car_. _I wonder where Blaine went. _

Kurt opens his eyes and the sight that is unfolding before him makes him freeze. Sebastian – Sebastian who hates him and calls him Gayface regularly- has Blaine pinned against the Nav with his face against the window.

"What the actual fuck are you doing Anderson?" Sebastian growls.

"Aw come on Seb, just because I didn't put out for you, doesn't mean you need to get feisty." Blaine answers back flirtatiously. "Unless feisty is what you like. Then I can be that."

_Not even five minutes ago you were trying to rape me in my backseat and now, against my car, you're flirting with another guy. Wow. _Kurt thinks.

"You're disgusting. I can't believe I thought I wanted you. For a change, I'm disappointed in my taste."

"Oh please Sebastian, you're just saying that. I know you want me." By now Blaine has turned around and is glaring at the taller boy with a spark of lust in his eyes.

"It seems as though you've caused me to do something that has never happened before – a mistake. So, to answer your question, no I don't want you. That will only be in your most precious dreams. Ugh no, I didn't need that visual in my head. You know what? No even in your dreams because even my subconscience in your head wouldn't want a disgusting asshole like yourself, much less to fuck you. Again with choice words I shouldn't use that give me horrible visuals." Sebastian sighs loudly and chuckles to himself.

"It's because of Kurt isn't it? That's why you're saying you don't want me."

"Just go away before you cause any more trouble." Sebastian glares.

"No until you admit that you want to fuck me, Sebastian."

Sebastian gives Kurt a small shrug of apology before he swings a punch at Blaine, getting him on his jaw. Blaine hadn't seen it coming, so when the punch comes, his head hits the window and blood splutters out of his mouth.

"Go away, Anderson. You're not good enough for Scandals, let alone Hummel." Kurt stares at this green-eyed boy with a new wonder and surprise in his eyes.

"Fuck you, Sebastian. Fuck you for being such a prude, Kurt. Too bad your legs are closed shut as tight as your pants are on your legs." And with that Blaine turns away from the two teenage boys and starts on his walk home.

It is silent for two minutes before a sob that had been held back let its way out of Kurt's mouth. Sebastian freezes. He isn't used to people comforting him when he cries, _rarely ever cries, _his mind supplies, so he doesn't know how to go about 'comforting' Kurt Hummel.

Sebastian can genuinely say he was surprised. He was going out for some air because he was horny, angry, and a group of the drag queens were talking about how fuckable Hummel was. Sebastian was pissed at Kurt for being a cockblock and he didn't really need anybody telling him how perfectly fuckable his ass was. When he walked outside of the bar he heard Kurt's shriek (_His girl shriek) _but didn't see him, he figured out he and Blaine were playing hide and seek or something as childish, but when he heard the noise again and edged closer to the car he saw that Blaine was trying to have his way with Kurt. _He's trying to rape him. I've been with enough guys to know that isn't a sound of pleasure._

Sebastian had enough morality as a human to not let this happen to Kurt – as well as something that had happened to his family prior to this particular situation that had scarred the Smythe's. He wasn't going to let that happen to Kurt, no matter how much he didn't like him or thought he needed to be taken shopping. (_Because no one should own that much clothing from the women's section.)_

"Are you okay, Kurt?" he asks the blue-eyed boy cautiously. Because of how cautious he's being, he also realizes that he's called him by his name for the first time ever.

All of a sudden Kurt starts gasping and heaving. Sebastian panics and he pulls him out of the car onto the floor of the parking lot beside him.

"Kurt, I just need you to breath. Breath for me, come on," Sebastian goes on like this for what feels like hours as Kurt starts crying hysterically and loses his breath with causes him to choke due to the lack of oxygen his body is taking in.

Sebastian rubs his back soothingly and this only causes Kurt to cry harder. "Kurt, don't you dare. You don't dare let him win."

Kurt tries to stop his gasping and to concentrate on breathing, but he knows he's having a panic attack. His brain is telling him he's over-exaggerating it, but as hard as he tries he can't control it. It's happened a few times before, but the longest he'd ever had a panic attack was 15 minutes. He doesn't even have his asthma pump in case of something like this happening and he's afraid.

Kurt does all he can think to do but that proves to now work, so he flings his arms around Sebastian's neck. The taller boy stiffens under Kurt's hold for a moment and Kurt thinks he's crossed a boundary of sorts, but he can't think to let go. He needs to do this in order to keep himself grounded. He feels like he's floating away. He feels lightheaded and nauseas. He needs Sebastian to keep him here.

When he's holding Sebastian and the latter is holding him and comforting him with soothing words he feels like he's getting pulled back. He is still heaving, but it's almost as if Sebastian is keeping him grounded. He feels like he's floating away because of the lack of oxygen he's taking in but Sebastian is helping him gain it back and he couldn't be more grateful.

"Come on, in, out, in, out." Sebastian coos. "You can do it Kurt, come on. You're okay now. I'm not going to hurt you. Just breath for me okay."

Kurt's breathing returns to its regular state, but he doesn't let go of Sebastian. He's afraid he might go back to the sobbing mess he's been for what he's sure has been hours. At the complete and utter least, that is.

"I'm sorry for ruining your night," Kurt chokes out hoarsely. "And your shirt too. It feels expensive."

"Meh, it doesn't matter. There are plenty more shirts where this one came from – this place is of course also known as Narnia."

Kurt chuckles at that and Sebastian is instantly relieved. He'd be damned if anyone ever thought he _cared _about Kurt, but desperate times call for desperate measures and Sebastian pushes the feelings he's experiencing. He pulls the shorter boys head into his lap unconsciously and runs his hand through Kurt's hair – without objection from the latter.

"They're deep in your closet right?" Kurt gives a barely-there smirk to Sebastian.

"Oh yes, deep down in the closet far from where all your clothes are."

Kurt rolls his eyes and deadpans. "Ha ha ha, you're so hilarious Craigslist."

"You're one to talk, Princess. But at least you recognize my hilarity in all of its sparkling glory."

"You're so gay." Kurt says incredulously, "Let me guess. You're on team Edward aren't you."

Sebastian flushes a deep shade of red, "What makes you think I watch Twilight?"

"Because everybody watches Twilight, moron."

"That's beside the point, Hummel. I do not watch Twilight and I am by no means on 'Team Edward.'"

Kurt laughs.

"Fine okay, I watch Twilight." Sebastian huffs. "So what if I'm Team Edward."

Kurt honest to god laughs to the point where there are tears in his eyes. "God, team Edward? More like team incestuous gay vampire."

"Hey now, there is no need to be hating. I genuinely thought you would be Team Edward, due to his, well vampire features. Much like your own, to be honest."

"Was it my sparkling personality?"

"Funny, but yours more like a flaming personality."

"You think you're hilarious, but you really aren't."

"I'm just saying. I don't like you because of your none-existent sparklingly radiant personality."

"But you do admit you like me," Kurt smirks at Sebastian's slight flush on his cheeks.

"Whatever Kurt," he mutters under his breath barely audible.

They boys continue to sit in the parking lot in front of Kurt's Navigator looking in different directions, merely soaking up each other's presence before Kurt speaks up. "Hey um, Sebastian?"

Sebastian looks down at Kurt, whose head has been resting on his lap for the past fifteen minutes. "What's up?"

"Thank you for tonight – genuinely. I don't know what would have happened if you weren't there."

"Well I was, so there's no need to think about 'what if's' okay? I'm just happy that you're safe, and no you don't get to use anything I say to you tonight as evidence that I'm human."

This causes Kurt to laugh and lift his head off the other boy's lap. He stands up and holds a hand out for Sebastian to grip. He hoists the taller boy up with ease.

"Are you okay to drive now?" Sebastian queries.

"Yeah, I think so. Who is the idiot who said to go out on a school night?"

"That idiot would be me."

"Then you're the smartest idiot I know."

Sebastian shrugs. "I get that a lot."

"I don't want to go to school tomorrow."

"Then don't. I know that you had a long night, so your current appearance looks better to me than it did when he left. But to other people, I don't think they'd agree that perfect Hummel looks okay – you just seem like the type that looks like they're always dressed to impress. If anyone's home when you get there, you will get asked what happened and are you really prepared to lie?"

"I suppose you're right. But I just don't want to face up to… to him tomorrow."

"I understand. But if you want to communicate without communicating, go to the Nude Erections and sing a song or some shit. Your glee club always sings about problems. So I've heard, that is."

Kurt laughs. "Oh god, I'm never going to hear the end of this break up from anyone at school. But do you know what the funny part it? I'm going to get blamed because I broke up with Blaine. Well, I'm going to break up with him, that is. I wonder if he'll feel any remorse. He never usually does."

"Not everyone is out to screw you over, Kurt. He was just a – for a lack of better words- a bad apple. You don't want him there rotting your perfectly okay tree. Let the bad apple fall to the ground and get bruised. Someone else will pick it up and attend to it, and even though you're a missing a part of you –lack of better phrasing of course - another _apple _will grow back replacing the bad one, but this one will be a good apple. The best apple your tree has yet to have, and in the end you'll just be grateful that the bad apple fell. It gave you the opportunity to experience what was best for you and in turn it will experience what is best for them, but do it better, because it's learned a good lesson from the tree and knows how to accept being taken care of and how to take care of others well."

Kurt gives Sebastian a small smile. "I never thought about it like that."

"I'd like to think so. I was hoping I was the only one who could make philosophical statements involving apples." Sebastian shrugs.

"You really like apples don't you?"

"I actually don't. But if I'm being honest, I'm like a bruised apple. I don't need more trust issues because I found a worm in my apple."

"Then why am I an apple tree? There is no way that you are less messed up than I am upstairs."

"Upstairs Kurt? Is that really what your brain came up with on demand?"

"It's not like you could have come up with anything better." Kurt shrugs.

"I probably could have if I could think of anything. But much to my dismay, and as much as I hate to admit it, I have no energy. As in I'm going to do what you should be doing tomorrow and I'm going to skip school."

"You can't skip at Dalton. You'll fail and then you'll be one of those thirty year olds that still live on their parents' money."

"Hmm, you have an active imagination there. I hope that didn't hurt your brain." Sebastian chuckles at the glare Kurt gives him. "I'm ahead of my school work by a few weeks and I don't really want to go. I'm a shoe in for all the universities I've applied to. They can't say no to me, really. So school is more of a hobby than a necessity to me now."

"Welcome to my pity party for those who aren't academically challenged."

"Well I'm not going to go asking to be academically challenged by any means, I'm just merely voicing my very obvious opinion of the fact that you shouldn't go to school. Are you ready to handle Blaine, glee club, and your public school?" Sebastian shudders and Kurt rolls his eyes.

"I'll be fine. I need to rip off this band aid before it becomes too much for me to handle. But thank you for the advice anyways." Kurt smiles.

"Don't say I didn't warn you." Sebastian shrugs.

Kurt blushes a little but the taller boy doesn't notice. "Well maybe we can switch numbers and you can mock me when I get bombarded with questions as to why I'm not talking to my boyfriend."

Sebastian smirks. "You just want my number."

Kurt is chuckles. "I do not."

"Do too."

"Do not."

"Do too."

"What are we, five?" Kurt rolls his eyes and gives his phone to Sebastian as the other gives him his phone. When the boys are finished their exchange, Kurt moves forward and gives Sebastian a hug which he sort-of expected, so it takes a shorter amount of time for the taller boy to melt into it.

"I'm sorry I keep hugging you."

"It's okay," Sebastian whispers.

"I have to go now. If I don't sleep, I'm going to look worse than I do now."

"Go then." Sebastian pulls away from the hug as it's getting uncomfortable for him and smirks. I'll send you mock texts and see at what stage of apology idiot mc-I'm-a-moron asshole is at."

Kurt snorts. "You're not as bad as you make yourself out to be, you know that Sebastian?"

"Oh, I know. I'm much worse."

"I don't think so." Kurt calls as he jumps into his car.

"You will think so eventually." Sebastian chuckles as he gives a hand gesture as salute of goodbye to Kurt. "Until next time, Princess."

"I still have issues believing that, but nevertheless, thank you so much for tonight. You don't even know how much it meant to me." Kurt smiles. "See you around Craigslist."

Sebastian frowns as he sees Kurt's car turning the corner. Hummel sounds okay now, but he knows that it's going to be for a short period of time and he can't help but want to be there when that happens. Kurt is going to need comfort from someone who understands – Sebastian knows this for sure. He hopes that the blue-eyed boy's boyfriend got hit by a car on the way home _(Very unlikely, but it would be highly appreciated.) _He thinks it's _sweet_ (Ew) that Kurt doesn't think he's all bad, but he knows he's screwed up. Though no one has ever stuck around to figure out why, he can't help but have a little sliver of hope that Hummel will. Just like he wants to do for Hummel. Stick around until he knows he's okay, and if he's not too annoying, maybe they can stay friends.

Sebastian gets into his car and hits his head on the steering wheel. All these thoughts about friendship and happiness are grossing him out and making him sick. Before he can start the car, his phone vibrates.

**_[Message from Princess at 23:47]_** I know I keep saying it, but thanks for tonight. Just got home and my parents were asleep (someone loves me right now because I look terrible). Get home safely. –K

Sebastian decides to reply to the message when he gets back to the dorms, but for now, he's content with the knowledge that the shorter boy is alive and well.

* * *

_**I made a reference to Marina & The Diamonds' Fear and Loathing when Seb said 'Not everyone is out to screw you over'. If you were curious. Or a hardcore Diamond like me. With that said, I'm warning you that I'm going to use a hell of a lot of her songs. That is all. Please review :) I haven't even started the next chapter and I need inspiration. Gah. x**_


	2. Chapter 2

**_I'm going to take a moment to go & cry in a corner in my bedroom because holy shit guys. I didn't expect so many alerts. This is crazy! And like I said, this is all so motivational. I was thinking 'You said two weeks, idiot.' And here I am a few days later posting the next chapter two times the length of the previous. But hey, if you're inspired, you're inspired. _**

_Disclaimer :_ **_Okay, I figure I should learn to do this shit. I don't own glee or any of the characters on the show. This is me borrowing Ryan Murphy, Ian Brennan and Brad Falchuk's characters._** **_(Though I'd really like to tell them what exactly to do with said characters such as giving Kurt solos. Do you remember those days? I'd also really like Kurtbastian to be canon.)_**

**_You have to get used to these long as fuck author notes that waste all your time because I feel sentimental and shit. Lololol. Come say hi on tumblr so you hear more of my nonsense. Justyousummergirl . tumblr. com ._**

_Overall warnings_** :** **_Foul language. This isn't really something that's going to make you like Blaine, so um, you can leave now if you'd still like to be able to tolerate certain adorable Warbler. Mentions of sexual activity._**

_Tumblr tag :_ **_Kurtbastianfic : TEOG_**

**_heytheresummerboy xx_**

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**Chapter 2**

* * *

Hands. There are hands. Its only two hands, but they're everywhere. Touching him. He tries to scream, but his voice is gone. The body is faceless. This body is pressing Kurt's onto something flat and hard. Kurt doesn't know where he is because it's dark. All his other sense are heightened due to the lack of vision he has. He's terrified. And now he's cold. _Why am I cold?_ A rough, calloused hand makes its way to Kurt's zipper. _What is happening to me?_ He panics and starts flailing his arms.

"Stop squirming." The person says, though this voice sounds familiar. This causes Kurt to try and stand up so he can run. Run where to? He doesn't know where, but he needs to be away from this situation and this man.

"You wouldn't give it to me. So now I'm going to take it from you."

A mysterious light appears from behind his tormentors head. Blaine. His tormentor is Blaine.

Suddenly, Kurt's voice has returned to him. "Get the hell away from me!" he shouts.

Then he's back in his bedroom in Lima.

What has Blaine Anderson done to him? Kurt knows he should probably tell his dad, but he won't. He doesn't need to give his dad another heart attack, or worse, get him sent to prison for murder, so this will be his secret. But it really isn't a secret if Sebastian knows, so he supposes that it's good that someone knows. Now the guilt of the fact that he's decided to not tell his father what happened at Scandals is cancelled out because of the knowledge that someone else knows.

He glances at his bedside clock. It's five am. There would be no point in going back to sleep at this point so he decides to take an early morning jog to calm himself down. Slowly, Kurt makes his way out of his bed and to his closet. He takes out his trainers, track pants, and an Old Navy shirt.

Whilst he changes, he can't tell if he's reliving the dream, or reminiscing the previous night. He feels violated and filthy. Kurt decides to make this run shorter than usual so he can take a long shower afterwards. There would be no point in showering right now seeing as school is only three and a half hours way and he feels no need to put too much effort into his appearance.

Kurt needs to get out of his house. He's starting to feel uncomfortably boxed in and it's as though the walls are closing in on him. He does not need to have another panic attack. Before last night, it had been a whole month since he had one. Then Blaine has to just ruin that. But Kurt cannot, for the life of him, understand where that Blaine came from.

The last panic attack was caused because of the anniversary of the death his mother. Elizabeth Amelié Hummel had died ten years ago due to cancer. At the time, Kurt hadn't known what was going on because he was just a little boy, but he did know that his mother was trying to be strong. Just because she had been sick –as his father said – did not mean that she smiled any less.

* * *

Elizabeth cherished the little time she knew she had with her son. She had known when she was dying because it seemed as though her body was finally giving up on her and she felt weak and helpless. She called, in a barely audible whisper for her son and husband. She whispered to Burt, "It's time now, my love." Burt had understood what she meant. He leaned down and gave her a kiss. It was short, but it was filled with so much emotion. Tiny droplets of tears cascaded onto her face as he pulled back slowly, accepting that this was going to be his last kiss with his first love.

Elizabeth asked Kurt if he could sit with her on the bed. She had proceeded to tell him that she had been sick for a while – which he said he had known – but that she wasn't going to be around anymore. She has told him that no matter where she was going now, she wanted to make sure that Kurt knew that she loved him. She told him to accept himself the way he was, because she would always accept him the way he was. She told him to love whomever he wanted, but always make sure that whoever they were – that they loved and respected him the way he deserved.

There was always a poem that she has recited to Kurt as he grew up – a lullaby of sorts. Whenever he had been upset, she would sing it to him whilst rubbing his back in soothing, gentle circles. Sometimes he would play the piano for her as she would sing this lullaby. Her last request of him was that he played the lullaby for her one last time on the piano that sat in the corner of the bedroom. As he played, she sang slowly in French.

_I promised I would never leave you_

_And you should always know_

_Wherever you may go_

_No matter where you are_

_I will never be far away_

Kurt loved the sound of his mother's voice, so when she stopped singing, he looked up with confusion. Elizabeth smiled at her son with what remaining energy she could muster. The last words she uttered to Kurt remain in his heart to this day.

"You are so loved. I don't want you to ever forget that."

Kurt watched his mother close her eyes slowly. There was a smile on her face and she looked truly peaceful. He would never forget looking at his father, who had a similar smile on his face to hers, tears shining brightly in his eyes.

"I will always love her," he said. "And I will always love you, Kurt."

* * *

Thinking on his mother's last day makes Kurt both happy and sad. He's sad because that was the last time he got to see his mother, but happy because he knows she was at peace with herself. It's strange, he thinks, that he doesn't believe in Heaven and Hell, but he knows his mother is in Heaven. It's an oxymoron of sorts. But his mother was a wonderful, beautiful, loving, kind woman – and it's just somewhere he thinks she would be right now.

There are tears threatening to fall out of his eyes, but he's gotten out of the house and he feels as though he's got a clearer mind now. This is okay. He is going to be okay.

Kurt runs around the block twice before deciding to go back home and shower. He didn't dare look at a mirror this morning, but he's completely sure that he looks like something the cat dragged it. He shudders at the small thought that passes through his mind of leaving out his skin care regime this morning, and makes his way to his bedroom to take a shower.

The moment Kurt sees his clothes from the previous night, his eyes close - willing the memories to go away. This is, much to his dismay, a failed attempt. He quickly puts them at the bottom of his laundry basket and proceeds to remove his clothes so he can shower. Every article of clothing he removes leaves a kind of whisper on his skin. A reminder. A bad reminder.

He steps into the shower, water already soothing his tense muscles. But it's not enough. He feels filthy, used and violated though nothing happened. Kurt's hand is already making its way towards the hot water before his mind knows what he's doing. He turns the hot water up and he turns off the cold water faucet off completely. The water stings and will inevitably leave his skin a little sensitive, but it's a good distraction. After a twenty minute shower, he goes to get dressed, but before he does this, he examines himself in the mirror.

Slightly red skin because of the scalding water, bags under his eyes due to lack of sleep. But what bothers him the most are his eyes which are lined with defeat. He doesn't quite understand why he looks defeated, _because he hasn't given up on anything_, but it's there and very prominent. He supposes he's given up on trust. But he knows that that's something his mother wouldn't want.

When he gets to his room, he digs through his closet to find something to wear. He doesn't feel like standing out today, so he chooses simple black jeans. Not his regular skin tight jeans, but jeans one size larger. He opts for a navy blue and black striped shirt which he rolls up to his elbows, and finishes off with a black waistcoat he leaves unbuttoned and a pair of black sneakers.

When he's finished getting dressed and he's completed his regime, he grabs his satchel, and extra pair of clothing, his cell phone, and makes his way downstairs to the kitchen.

"Mornin' kid," Burt greets as he takes a tentative sip of his coffee.

"Hey dad," Kurt gives a small smile before walking towards the fridge. "How did you sleep?"

"It was okay.'' Burt shrugs. "I didn't hear you get home from Mercedes' house last night. What time were you back?"

"Oh," Kurt's smile falters a bit as he pours himself a glass of orange juice, "I got back at around twelve."

"Kurt," Burt sighs, "I know you're nearly eighteen and are going to be out of the house soon, but you need to try and work with me. It's was a school night, yes an irrelevant one because it's Friday today, but I'd still like you to try and abide with the house rules." Kurt tries to say something but Burt stops him. "And no, before you say anything, I would do the same thing with Finn. Remember last week when he didn't come home till three am? His ass got grounded for the rest of the weekend."

Kurt frowns apologetically. "I'm sorry dad. I didn't mean to make you upset or worried or anything. I'll try to stick with curfew better."

"Thanks bud."

"No problem."

Burt smiles, "Did you have fun at Mercedes' house?"

"Yeah um I did. We did homework when we got to her house and then we decided to rewatch Grey's Anatomy. We got three seasons in, but when I checked the time it was late so I came home." Kurt feels bad for lying to his father, but what else is he supposed to say? _'Well dad, I went to my boyfriend's house after school and we made out for the afternoon. We would have continued, but we forgot that we were meeting a boy –who was trying to get with Blaine- to go clubbing with. But at said gaybar, my boyfriend got drunk and tried to rape me when I was trying to get him safely into my car so he wouldn't puke. The boy who was trying to get with Blaine actually saved me and we bonded over Twilight. Quite the evening, don't you think? How was yours?'_ No, that wouldn't work. "How was your night?"

Burt looks pleased with Kurt's answer. "I just stayed home and watched Top Gear. Carol had the night shift at the hospital, and Finn was at Rachel's."

"Speaking of Finn," Kurt chuckles. "Where is he?"

"I think he's busy getting ready. I don't even know." Burt rolls his eyes fondly. "You can go ask if you want."

"Um no," Kurt says quickly, a slight blush forming on his cheeks. "I'll just text him. He could be showering or whatever." _Or masturbating like the last time you decided to check if Finn was almost ready for school. _Yeah, Kurt decides he is not going to go through that awkward experience again considering that he and Finn are carpooling because Finn's car is at the shop for repairs.

Burt raises an eyebrow quizzically (suspiciously) before nodding at his oldest son and making his way to the coat rack. He grabs his coat, bids Kurt goodbye, and made his way out the door.

The moment Burt leaves, Kurt lets out a long breath of air he was unaware he had been holding in. _Thank god that's over. _As bad as it may have been, he is happy that his exterior cool hadn't cracked. He isn't sure he'd be able to muster up any pride after being a crying, sobbing wreck in his father's arms, and he's not really sure his father could handle him in that state either. Today wouldn't be that bad. _The hardest part will be breaking up with Blaine._

It's almost like it isn't a hard decision for Kurt, but it is. The hard part wasn't making the decision. It was weighing the options. How is he to know if Blaine won't do it again? And if anyone ever tells you that Kurt isn't pissed off because he's being forced to make this decision, screw them. Blaine was supposed to be his forever. It's not as though he doesn't care about Blaine – he loves him so much_, so much_, but he can't be in a relationship with someone he's not sure he'll fully trust again. Blaine could win back his trust, but he'd rather not think about that now. If it happens, it will happen. But for now, he's got a plan, and he will pull through even if it means heartbreak. _Rather now than later when something worse happens._

Kurt's thoughts are interrupted by Finn's unceremoniously loud footsteps descending down the stairs and the sound of his voice singing something familiar. Though Kurt can't pinpoint the song… Aha, _Losing you_ by Death by April. Most people would be surprised because of Kurt's musical preferences that he knows the band, but he's brothers with Finn for god's sake, so of course he knows Death by April, BVB, Skillet, and Panic! At The Disco. Just like Finn knows artists like Marina & The Diamonds, St. Lucia, Phantogram, and Lana Del Rey (Kurt's guilty pleasures. And of course all Broadway songs are included). It's part of the brother package.

"Morning Kurt," Finn says lacking his usual enthusiasm.

Kurt frowns. "Good Morning Finn. How are you?"

"I'm okay, I guess. I don't know."

"What's wrong?"

"I don't think I can tell you because of bro code and girl code. Because it's about Rachel but she's probably going to want you take her side because of girl code." Finn's eyes go wide and he puts up his hands in a surrender notion at Kurt's raised eyebrow and plastered bitch glare. "I'm not saying you're a girl!" Finn stammers. "But Rachel is your best friend and you're obviously going to take her side but I want you to take mine because that's what bro's do… and oh my god what am I even saying anymore?" Finn groans.

Kurt chuckles at his brother's ramblings. "Okay, this conversation is going nowhere. Do tell me what happened with you and Rachel. I will take the side of whomever was correct in said situation; whether it be you or Rachel," Kurt smiles. "So now you can tell me without worrying about offending me."

"Well um, you know how Rachel and Blaine are Maria and Tony for West Side Story?"

Kurt nods (though thinking about how he wanted the role and Blaine got it instead hurts just a little bit, but it's something he's getting over) and Finn continues. "Artie said that the whole thing is about how they learn to be intimate or something... I don't actually know what he said because I was upset and I wasn't really listening to Rachel. But he told them to learn to be intimate so they can 'sell it to the audience' or whatever."

Kurt clicks his tongue with disinterest for Rachel Berry. He is going to have a few words with her at school today.

"So she basically tried to have sex with me last night so she could practice for her role." Finn sighed.

Kurt's eyes widen in horror. "She did what?"

"Yeah um," Finn fidgets with his hands with nervousness, "she told me that if I was a good boyfriend that I'd do it for her, and I told her it was supposed to special. Then she tried to say sorry and she explained why she needed to do it that moment, but like, Kurt, I don't wanna have sex with her. I want to make love to her for her first time so that it's special."

Kurt's heart breaks at the fallen expression on his brother's face. "Finn, I'm so sorry. You know how Rachel is. She does love you, but she's still working on learning how to show it okay? I don't want you to take to heart the stupid as fuck-"Finn's mouth drops open at the swear, "things she does. She's still learning how to act like a proper human being."

"So I'm going to guess that you and Blaine didn't do it. I totally know that when Artie talked to them about it that Blaine was a virgin. Which is something I really didn't need to know about your boyfriend. But heads up for you two having not done it, you're still my little bro and I don't wanna have to threaten him yet." Finn says as-a-matter-of-factly, but noticing the paling state of Kurt's face, adds, "Or maybe you did. There is no judgment. You guys have been going steady for a while."

Kurt smirks internally at Finn's usage of the phrase 'going steady.' "No, we didn't do it because I was with Mercedes last night, and I am not your little brother, I'm older than you," Kurt chuckles with a small blush, still trying to process Finn's words. "But you mean well, so um thanks for being a good brother."

"You know what I mean Kurt," Finn whines. "I'm like your big brother."

Kurt chuckles. "Yes okay fine stop pouting. You're my bigger brother."

At this, Finn flashes Kurt a bright smile of victory. Kurt rolls his eyes at the child like smile Finn has on his face, but then Finn looks at Kurt with a smirk and adds, "You weren't at Mercedes' house yesterday."

Kurt frowns. "How would you know?"

"Because Mercedes and Rachel were wondering where you were. Mercedes went to Rachel's house after school for about a half hour then she went home. She tried to call you, but your phone was off. Then Rachel called me while I was at football practice and she asked where you were. We kind of figured you were with Blaine. Then she asked me to go over to her house after practice." Finn shrugs.

"Oh my god," the shorter boy grumbles. "Please don't tell dad?"

"I won't. You've covered for me a lot before. And you totally don't have to tell me, but you were with Blaine, weren't you?"

"Yeah, I went home with him after school." Kurt blushes.

"That's okay. Thanks for telling me." Kurt blushes, hoping Finn won't ask what they were doing. His brother has those oblivious moments, and there's just something about lying to Finn that always fails. Though he may not be the sharpest knife in the box, he seems to have this thing where you can't lie to him and he'd rather not have that conversation as of yet.

"But don't worry," Finn chuckles at the look of horror on Kurt's face. "I'm not going to ask what you were doing there. I know Blaine's parents are gone for the week. And I also know you haven't done anything. So he's still okay with me. Now, come on, let's go to school now."

Kurt stares open mouthed at his brother. He has grown so much from the little boy he used to be – uncomfortable with the fact that Kurt was gay, and here he is now, talking to him about how he went to his boyfriend's house after school, knowing that Blaine's parents are gone away for the week. How did he land such an amazing family?

"By the way," Finn calls as he grabs his back pack. "I like the new look. It's bad ass."

Kurt can't help but give his brother a bright smile. Yes, Finn was most definitely his brother. "Thanks Finn, for everything."

* * *

When Kurt and Finn arrive at school, he quickly makes way to his locker to fetch his books for first period. What surprises him are the rose petals on the floor at his locker. _Okay, arbitrary morning it is then. _He doesn't think that Blaine would have the nerve to do that - not yet anyways. As he works on his locker combination and more roses fall out of his locker.

Today is not the day for Blaine to mess with him. He just needs to get over today. He is a boy on a mission and he doesn't need a soon-to-be-ex boyfriend to get in his way of that. He doesn't need this to be more painful that it is already so he really does hope, knowing that things are probably not in his favour- that the roses are not from Blaine.

Kurt already knows that most people are going to assume that he's responsible for the breakup, and he isn't in the mood for their assumptions. He also isn't in the mood to hear_ 'Blaine loves you more than you love him.'_ Not today. This breakup is hurting him on the inside. He has to break up with his first love because he was nearly raped, and it hurts that the only time Blaine would try any type of sexual _anything _really, was when he's heavily intoxicated. Kurt can't help but wonder if he really is that unattractive - that you need to be drunk to want him. He supposes he really is just a baby penguin. But he's still grateful that he knows this side of his boyfriend (soon to be _ex-boyfriend_) before things get too much.

As Kurt makes a move to close his locker, a scrap piece of paper falls from the cover of the last book he's holding. People are still arriving at school so there's no commotion and all the jocks are too busy to pay attention to him (which helps him avoid early slushies) and his rather obvious struggle to close his locker (with the roses threatening to fall out), put his books in his satchel, and pick up the paper. Once he puts his books into his satchel, he snatches the paper off of the floor and reads the note.

_People make inexcusable mistakes... _

_But it's all up to us to make the decision to be the bigger person and forgive them._

_Forgive me, my love? _

_-B_

_Great. Just lovely_, Kurt thinks. He really did expect this, but this note and the roses are like a slushie in the face. It hurts more than he expects it to and that's just not fair to him at all.

At some point, Blaine is going to want to talk to him, or rather not because he isn't manning up to come and ask for forgiveness in person. Or perhaps he expects Kurt to go gushing at him about how lovely the roses are. _No thank you. _The only reason Kurt Hummel will be tracking down Blaine Anderson is to give him a piece of his mind.

His thoughts are interrupted by a low whistle and a slight tap on his ass. This causes Kurt to jump.

"Relax baby gay," Santana chuckles as she makes a move to stand in front of Kurt. "I was just gonna tell you that you look superhot."

Kurt blushes and instinctively steps backwards due to the lack of space (proximity violation) between he and Santana, earning a raised eyebrow from his as of recent co-head cheerleader friend. "Thank you. That Cheerio's uniform does wonders for your body." He says, giving her an appreciative once over.

"Don't I know it," Santana snorts. "Are you okay or whatever? Where's your better half? Or whatever shit you two refer to each other as now?"

Kurt shudders at that. He hopes that Blaine is not his better half. He feels like he should tell Santana about them breaking up so he doesn't have too many people hounding him about it when glee club finds out. He also hopes silently that Blaine doesn't decide to sing a song to him or tell Rachel what happened. He can't have the _'I thought we were closer than that Kurt' _conversations he receives quite often from the small Jewish girl. But he's pretty sure that Blaine won't tell Rachel, or anyone for that matter, what happened. Or if he does, he won't tell them the real story.

"Satan," he uses a steady voice, "I swear on all things holy and sanctuary that if you tell anyone before I tell them, I will cut off your boobs." Santana raises an eyebrow, intrigued and Kurt sighs heavily. "I'm breaking up with Blaine, but I uh just want you to know so I don't get hounded by everyone in glee club when I tell them." When the words come out of his mouth, it feels like Kurt's chest is growing larger and he has a dire need to cry. But he won't show weakness now. He can't. Nobody pushes the Hummel's around.

"Woah." Santana goes wide eyed, "What happened with you two?"

"I can't tell you, but just trust me that it's for the best?" Kurt shrugs.

Santana lowers her voice and nearly growls her next sentence. "Did he, did he do something to you? Because I swear to god if he did, I'll make sure he can never stick it anywhere. Ever again."

Kurt gives Santana a sad smile. "Don't worry San. I can hold my own. It's just been a lame as hell decision to come to because of well, I love him. So it sucks. And before you say it, no I am not referring to blowjobs."

Santana rolls her eyes playfully before she gives Kurt's hand a light squeeze with her own. "Well I will castrate him if you need me to okay?" Kurt nods and his friend saunters away. But naturally, she turns around to shout - "Us bad bitches gotta stick together."– attracting attention from other students in a Santana-esque style.

Kurt chuckles at his friend's antics. That's what he wants with everyone else's reactions. He knows Santana wasn't prying because she knows that he will tell her when he's ready. Unfortunately he can't say the same about everyone else in glee club. He's not in the mood to deal with everyone today. He rolls his eyes remembering what Sebastian said last night, but snorts quietly when (as if it was timed) he receives a text from the Warbler. Who it seems, has also named himself ' Warbling Hot stuff' in Kurt's contacts. _How egotistical of him_, Kurt laughs.

**_[Message from Warbling hot stuff at 7:58]_** I know you're totally regretting going to school. But I just wanted to let you know that my day is going way better than yours will today.

Kurt rolls his eyes, but replies quickly with _'Two funny things this morning. First of all, 'Warbling hot stuff?' And I was just thinking about you telling me I shouldn't go to school last night, but there is absolutely no need to rub it in.'_

Kurt decides he needs to move away from the middle of the corridor. He's asking for trouble now because he keeps laughing. He returns to his locker, but before he can open it, a buzzing comes from his phone indicating a message from Sebastian. _'Laugh as much as you'd like, but we both know that I am in fact hot stuff. And I'm a Warbler too. It's perfect. Much like myself. ;)'_

The blue eyed boy rolls his eyes, wondering how he got to this situation. _'You're as hilarious as you are modest. Seriously, you're such a catch.'_

As much as he hates to admit it, this hot stuff thing is really catching on. Though not because Sebastian is hot stuff because ew. _'I know I am. But on with other news, have you heard from hobbithole?'_

Ah, the dreaded subject. Kurt decides to reply honestly. **_'_**_Fortunately not. But I had a note in my locker from him and he got me a bunch of roses. This is going to be a long day.'_

The amount of time it takes Sebastian to reply gives Kurt to put the note in his locker, move the roses around so he has room and close the locker before he gets the net reply. Kurt goes wide eyes at how long the message is.

**_'_**_Try and stay clear of him. I know you should break up with him, and you know you should too, but I'm not going to force you to do whatever. You do your own shit. But if you take him back, just be careful and watch him. Make sure the fucktard never drinks again. And if your decision is to keep him, I am sorry for calling him a fucktard. Okay no, I'm not. But it's the thought that counts. Just watch your back. That is enough of all of this sentimental caring shit now._'

Kurt feels flattered that Sebastian cares. He really does, but he doesn't understand where it's coming from. He met the boy on Monday because he was having coffee with Kurt's own boyfriend for god's sake and here he is discussing his failing relationship with him. It is more complicated on their behalf, but it's still weird for him.**_ '_**_I'll be fine okay? I'm breaking up with him, but it's still tough for me because as much as it will shock you, I still love him. But thanks anyways okay? Gotta get to class. Seven minutes to avoid everyone I know and get queried on (yes I'm going to say it) my boy clothes.'_

Sebastian's next message tones down the tension which makes Kurt feel better about the upcoming day._Lol, well there's something I'd like to see. Kurt Hummel is boy clothes. Let me know how it goes with idiot boyfriend. I'm just waiting for the heart-warming ballad. Then I will have earned my laughing rights._

Kurt snorts in a not gentleman-like manner as he gets to his class. Luckily he's early, so only his teacher looks at him, lifts an eyebrow and sighs at the boy before continuing to read his notes. _'You just made me seem like an idiot for snorting in front of my Chem teacher. Thanks for that. Lol. I'll talk to you later.'_

After he's sent the last text, he switches off his phone. Today he's going to be prepared for everything, and yes he knows that this is class, but it is also one he shares with Mercedes who will be very pissed off seeing as Kurt has avoided all her calls since yesterday afternoon. He needs to store up all his energy.

It hurts to think about how much he's lost over time. His friends when he was younger when they deemed him _'too weird'_ or _'too faggoty'_, his first kiss lost to a confused Neanderthal, ignoramus bully, his best friend of two years because he went to another school and once he returned things just weren't the same, and now his first love. Fuck last year, this is turning out to be the worst life for Kurt Hummel and he can't help but sigh at that.

* * *

Kurt manages to get through the whole day successfully avoiding everyone in glee club (except Santana, but that's okay) and only getting fleeting glares from Mercedes. Now it's time for glee club and he feels prepared. He and Sebastian have texted a lot today, which he finds extremely strange. But apart from Santana, he's the only person Kurt has a vastly remote interest in communicating with today.

The moment Kurt walks into glee club, Kurt texts Sebastian _'Walking into the pit of fire now, wish me luck.' _Which in turn allows him a chuckle because of Sebastian's own _'I knew you weren't as good as you appeared to be. Don't burn.'_

Kurt braces himself as he takes a seat at the back. As he starts going through his facebook messages, Santana comes in with Brittany. Instead of sitting with Brittany, the dark-haired girl makes a move to sit with Kurt. When Mercedes walks in with Rachel she looks at Kurt, giving him an unfriendly glare and sitting with Rachel. Kurt sighs. _This is going to be a long lesson._

When Blaine walks in, you can't see him above the amounts of roses he's carrying. _Fuck. _Kurt inhales sharply and gives Santana upset, pleading puppy eyes that make him look like he's going to cry. He had successfully managed to avoid his boyfriend for the whole day and seeing him now was like a slap in the face.

"Kurt," Rachel whispers with surprise. "Aren't you going to help your boyfriend?"

Santana glares at Rachel. "No he isn't. He's going to stay here and talk to me, just as you're going to fuck off."

Blaine manages to get all the roses on a chair. He greets Rachel, Mercedes and Santana (who only glares at him) and gives Kurt a guilty, shy smile in which Kurt ignores and looks away from because _it's just too much right now_. The rest of the glee club members pile into the room in the following ten minutes as does Miss Schuester.

"Okay, so this week's assignment is to sing a song that reflects how you feel emotionally." Will Scuester says with a proud smile on his face.

Kurt snorts in a half-hearted manner (because really?) and ignores the glares from his teacher, fellow members, and a snicker from Santana (who has somehow managed to entangle their fingers as the lesson progressed.) "Sorry." Though everyone knows he really is not sorry. His teacher sighs loudly and continues with the lesson.

Ten minutes before the lesson ends, Blaine lifts his hand.

"Yes Blaine," Will sighs because of irritation due to the fact that he keeps getting interrupted.

"Um, I was wondering if I could sing my song for the week now. If that would be okay with you of course, but uh I already know what song I'm singing."

Mr Schuester nods with a slightly surprised expression on his face and motions for Blaine to take the floor. Kurt has a small hope that this will be some random song about obsessions with Katy Perry (though he's not sure if there is such a song.) all hopes are crushed when Blaine makes brief eye contact with him, smiles at Rachel who in turn gives him a thumbs up and opens his mouth. "This song is dedicated to my boyfriend. Kurt, I love you so much."

Kurt cringes when the opening notes of Rihanna's 'Photographs' and P!nk's 'Please don't leave me.'

Kurt can't. He can't deal with this right now which leaves him tearing. When Rachel glances back to see the tears on his face, she smirks in achievement. Kurt can tell that Blaine talked to Rachel about wooing him or whatever because only Rachel would want _red_ roses. He has mentioned to her on several occasions that he thinks that they're tacky, though she always replied with 'One day someone will give them to you and you're going to be all mushy and in-love with them.' No, Kurt does not feel serenaded right now. He's pissed off, sad, upset, heartbroken and lost.

Santana is gripping his hand like a vice, occasionally glancing at him worriedly. Blaine seems to think that the tears he has now are 'happy tears' because he goes to his chair and grabs the roses, stands in front of Kurt with them, and lifts an eyebrow playfully. Kurt takes them when Blaine offers them to him because he's not particularly sure he can handle the awkwardness of everything.

Blaine instantly looks relieved and somehow manages to push the roses aside, taking Kurt's hand in his. He sings one more line of 'Baby please, please don't leave me', looks at Kurt straight in the eyes and mutters a soft 'I love you' once the music stops.

Kurt's brain is saying something completely different, Santana is squeezing his hand in warning, but the moment those three little words fall out of Blaine's mouth, it feels like the world is spinning in sadness, heartbreak and obligatory apologies, but Kurt knows that if he doesn't do this, that he won't ever have a chance at love again. Sebastian is going to kill him. But he can't handle the thought of being alone. So just like that, Kurt mutters back an 'I love you, too' of his own.

Kurt Hummel's heart lost the battle to his brain. He was weak. But he feels loved right now. The future is a distant dream right now and all that matters is now. Blaine loves him now, and that's more than Kurt thinks he's worth.

* * *

**_I hate me as much as you hate me. Trust me. I wasn't even going in this direction for this fanfic but it happened anyways. Um. Review and tell me how much you hate me? Yes? Okay. I actually don't know when I'll update again. School starts up on Monday. Sigh. Mwah. x_**


	3. Chapter 3

The thing is that my parents capped my wifi. I know, don't judge me. I had a busy month. My summary for the next chapter is already planned, and I've written 2000+ words because my mom had a baby and I'm in a fantastic mood so you'll have it soon.

I used Lana Del Rey's Born to die in this chapter and I googled Axis Nightclub & Union Café which are both in situated in Columbus, Ohio. I'm sorry for any typos or grammatical errors, but I've been so out of it. School is slaughtering me and I've had to double my math.

Disclaimer : I don't own Glee, Kurt Hummel or Sebastian Smythe. They belong to Ryan Murphy, Ian Brennan, and Brad Falcuk. (I would still like for Kurt to get a fucking solo though. Carry on by fun. YES? *raises hands*)

* * *

**Chapter 3**

* * *

The rest of the week goes as smoothly as it can possibly go after all events have occurred as of recent. West Side Story was a success so the New Directions have now started preparing themselves for Sectionals – where they'll be up against the Troubletones. Kurt thinks that the New Directions would do perfectly alright if they would stop panicking, stop being narcissists and pull their heads out of their asses so they can work as a team. But obviously that's just Kurt who thinks that if any the fights Blaine and Finn keep starting with each other are some kind of indicator.

Kurt is laying down rules with Blaine. After West Side Story, Artie threw a party at Breadstix, but Blaine, trying to be smart, asked Kurt if he wanted to go over to his house while knowing that Kurt knew that his parents were out of town. Kurt scoffs at the memory because it's been a week since everything happened and he and Blaine haven't discussed anything at all. Blaine is actually acting like nothing happened, what with their touches and kisses, and somehow, more.

The problem is that every single time someone touches him unexpectedly, Kurt jumps. He remembers his dream all too well, which has, since he had it, had again twice. He figures he needs to stop jumping when Blaine touches him because he always has a hurt expression, but it's not exactly as though he can do something about the way his body reacts to discomfort caused by his boyfriend.

Kurt tried very hard to avoid doing last week's assignment for glee club, but Mr Schuester insisted that he do it because apparently it seems 'strained' between everyone and there's some kind of 'tension.' Of course he says he knows this because he says he some kind of sixth sense. _Who is he, Haley Joel Osment?_

Watching everyone perform their songs was actually fun, excluding Rachel's 'heart-wrenching' performance of 1+1 by Beyoncé. Kurt wanted to chunder - it was that sickening. Not to mention that Rachel was sobbing, but unlike Tina, is some kind of crazy person with no use for their lungs, that can sing right through her sobbing hysterics. Kurt is sure he saw snot. But one man's trash is another's treasure even if one of the men is gay. But he's still happy if Finn is happy.

Kurt enjoyed Santana's version of Drumming Song by Florence + The Machine as well as Tina's powerful rendition of I'm with you that would give Avril Lavigne a run for her money, but his absolute favourite was Brittany singing White Nights by Oh Land. It was probably the cutest performance Kurt has ever witnessed in his life and Kurt had to restrain himself from putting the blonde cheerleader in his bag and taking her home to play tea party. Perhaps buying her glitter, it was that adorable.

Now, he knows he can sing about love and happiness and how good life is for him, but he doesn't have the energy to pull of lying to everyone. He doesn't even feel like talking about everyone else's songs (How is it possible that everyone is happy except for him?) He knows it's his fault he's unhappy, but it still sucks.

Sebastian has texted Kurt throughout the week, but he doesn't reply because he knows the Warbler will be disappointed in him. He also feels really guilty that he's making assumptions that there is some kind of friendship between him and Sebastian just because they texted for a little bit and because he helped him. But honestly, he feels ridiculous. He does know that he misses the Warbler. Can he even say that? Because he really does, so he supposes there would be absolutely nothing wrong with him replying to a text later, but for now he needs to figure out what song to sing for glee club.

As Kurt sits in AP English, willing his brain to listen to what Mr Johnson's teaching, he goes through songs he could possibly sing for glee club. The sooner he gets everything done for glee, the better. He needs to be cautious about his song choice, but he's not going to stand there and lie about how birth is a beautiful thing and how life is amazing and colourful with rainbows and happiness.

Then the song hits him like a ton of bricks.

* * *

"Hey Kurt," Rachel calls as he walks into glee and takes a seat near the back.

"Hey Rachel," Kurt whips his phone out and texts Santana to ask her of her whereabouts. "How are you doing today?"

"I'm doing fantastically actually. My role as Maria really gave me that more of an edge for NYADA and my votes for senior class president went up by two percent and really," Rachel sighs dreamily. "I just feel so good about myself. I feel really good about everything and I have a really good feeling about today."

Kurt raises an eyebrow at the small girl sitting in the front row obviously in her own little fantasy world, and glowing. Rachel berry is glowing. Then a thought that Kurt didn't need to know hits him, because he's really going at it with these epiphanies today it seems. Finn and Rachel had sex.

As if the world is trying to prove itself, Finn walks into the choir room alongside Puck, Artie, Rory, Blaine and Mike. As he looks at Rachel, his cheeks flush a slight pink, and Kurt just wants to laugh at the gassy infant look he has. It's kind of endearing. But then he chuckles, lightly so that no one can hear him, because Rachel sang 1+1 and he didn't query her song choice as anything other than ironic.

The rest of the club makes their way into the class and eventually Santana finds the seat next to Kurt's – practically glowering at Mercedes who makes a move to sit on Kurt's other side, but alas decides otherwise.

"Where were you?" Kurt frowns.

"I got held up. Mrs Smith held me back for a bit. Then she _made_ me pick up her pencil, but it was fucking creepy because I saw her push it off the table then she breathed like a dragon and was all 'you can go now Miss Lopez'." Santana shudders. "So I most definitely think that someone plays on team rainbows."

Kurt chuckles at the look on his friend's face. "Can you blame her? If I was a straight male, I'd want at that," he gives the cheerleader a once over. "But seeing as I'm definitely on team rainbow, as you call it, I just want to dress you because as hot as you are, that Cheerio's uniform needs to burn in hell."

Santana snorts indelicately and rolls her eyes playfully. "I always knew you wanted to take me shopping."

"Shopping?" Kurt gives Santana his 'bitch please' glare, "I'm a fashion god. I create fashion, I don't pawn it. I'd make all of your clothes."

"Which leads me to ask you why the fuck you're not applying to fashion school?" Santana raises an eyebrow at Kurt's shrug, but before he can answer, or more so she can coax him into answering her, Mr Schuester walks in and immediately starts talking.

Kurt raises a hand. "Mr Schue, if I may?"

"Yes Kurt, go ahead." He smiles. Obviously he's in a good mood today.

Kurt stands to stand in front of the class. "If it's okay, I'll sing my song for last week's assignment now."

Everyone chuckles and Mr Schuester gives the okay for Kurt to start. The brunette moves quickly to the band and tells them what song he's singing. He moves back in front of everyone, gives a nod to the band, and takes a deep breath as the music starts to play. He opens his mouth and the words fall out of his mouth, sharp, clear and filled with emotion.

_Feet don't fail me now_

_Take me to the finish line_

_Oh my heart it breaks every step that I take_

_But I'm hoping that the gates, they'll tell me that you're mine_

He chose this song because despite all the unhappiness he's been experiencing, he knows it's all in vain. Though Kurt would appreciate more happiness in his life, he knows not to fret about it because this is temporary. In the end, we're all going to die and all the backstabbing, the lies, the cheating, will all be for nothing. So why not be reckless now? Why not live for right now, at this very moment.

_Don't make me sad, don't make me cry_

_Sometimes life is not enough and the road gets tough_

_I don't know why_

But the love - that is something that will be told for generations onwards. Love that is a simple reminder that not everything is bad and horrible – that there is some good in this miserable world. Kurt might not understand what the point is now, but he knows that it's worth it even if it'll be over soon, so he understands he needs to live at peace with himself. Leaving a legacy is what he intends to do. A legacy of love and acceptance, and self-discovery.

_Choose your last words_

_This is the last time_

_'Cause you and I_

_We were born to die_

Kurt knows he's being hypocritical in a way. He keeps thinking about all this love and acceptance and leaving legacies, but he can't pluck up the courage to talk about something he isn't happy about and that's killing him. He hates that he can't take what he's giving. He hates it and he wishes he was strong enough to be able to fight his weakness. He hates that he's pawning himself off and settling for things that'll make other people happy so he doesn't have to fight. Kurt is tired of fighting.

Kurt finishes off singing the song, wipes away a few stray tears that escaped his eyes, but gets a standing ovation. _This feels good_, he thinks. _But this isn't for me._

The rest of practice passes by as Kurt sits thinking. NYADA is something he's been planning for a while, but fashion is something he's thought about. He loves making clothes that make statements, and just making any clothes in general and it's fun, but he loves Broadway. He's never actively pursued his fashion career because it's always been more of a hobby for him. Music and Broadway is his and Rachel's plan. He can't let her down, and he won't because he can't handle the burden that's going to be thrown on him because of it. As Kurt over-analyses things, his brain takes him to a world where he chooses fashion instead of music - one where he's being appreciated and recognized for who he is. An image pops into his head.

_He's at his apartment, at least that's what he thinks it is, and he's at the sewing machine making dress pants. He's tired, but he's happy because this is what he wants. Fashion is what he's always wanted, even if he didn't know it yet. A man comes up behind him, his boyfriend he assumes, and blind folds him whispering that he's been working too hard. Kurt chuckles and turns around, planting a chaste, misplaced kiss on this man's nose. 'I have to work baby, the fun will be for later.' But he doesn't end up working. He is persuaded out of his work with strawberries and cream and soft whispered promises of love and cherishing._

Suddenly Kurt wants that, but the scary thing is that, before when he'd have fantasies about his future, Blaine would be in them. But this man was faceless because Kurt hadn't gotten to the point where the blindfold came off yet. If it did come off. Perhaps he still needs to look for this someone, but he won't. It is after all a dream, fantasy, premonition (_what are you on, Kurt_. He thinks). It's merely a thought that bypasses his brain for a spilt second – one Kurt won't allow to bypass through again because he knows he'll start over thinking things. Besides, even if he did want to pursue fashion where would he start?

Kurt frowns and Brittany, on his right, rests her head on Kurt's shoulder giving it a small kiss of comfort, and Santana on his left, throws an arm around his chair rubbing his back with her thumb in circular motions. The two cheerleaders cause the countertenor smiling slightly. He can't help but appreciate them, though to himself, but still appreciation.

Class is dismissed but before he can leave, he's cornered by Mercedes asking him to go to a movie. He agrees quickly and bids her goodbye to go get ready at home. On the way home, he has a bad feeling about the whole shindig, but shakes off the thought because this is a fun night with his friend and he shouldn't be having bad thoughts about it.

* * *

Sebastian doesn't know why he's worried. _Because this is all getting ridiculous -_ _I text Kurt, Kurt doesn't reply, whatever, life goes on._ But that's the thing – life isn't going on and he's irritated because he wants to know what exactly is going on with gayface. Hummel. Kurt. _Whatever._ It's been seven days since face down with his stupid glee club and Sebastian's curious because Kurt won't answer his texts and that in its own is just ridiculous.

He's sitting on his bed studying with Nick and Jeff (actually he's watching them make come-hither eyes at each other without the other's acknowledgement). He decides that one more text won't make any colossal damage to his exterior cool because he really does not need Kurt think he's being clingy. He's just worried. _Wait, why the fuck would I be clingy? I have no reason to. Good god._

After he sends a quick text, he throws his phone on top of his pillows and sighs audibly. "Why are you two even here if you want to go fuck?" Sebastian pauses as Nick makes a move to interject. "Let me say _make love_ as you love struck morons say before I get chastised. Honestly, I really don't understand the difference. A spade's a spade. Making love is fucking."

"Sebastian," Nick sighs – already used to the boy's crudeness. "Jeff and I aren't dating."

"I didn't say anything about dating." Sebastian smirks.

"Oh my god," Jeff snorts. "Not all of us have an insatiable sex drive like resident maneater, Sebastian Smythe." The blond boy moves off the couch near the door and sits next to Sebastian on his bed. "Do you take Viagra or something? Because I really don't think anyone can have that much sex without help."

Sebastian huffs. "No, baby I'm all natural."

Nick cringes at the pet name aimed at Jeff. _Good_, Sebastian thinks. _Get jealous so you can finally fuck him instead of making those disgusting love sick, puppy-eyed 'Marry me now' ( I'm getting sick thinking about this disgusting bullshit) faces you blind, stupid, idiotic, horny moron._

"Is that so?" Jeff chuckles with a slight hint of flirting.

"I could show you, you know." Sebastian says, wiggling his eyebrows suggestively and looking at Jeff predatorily.

"But Sebastian," the blonde boy feigns surprise, "I'm afraid I'm not that type of boy."

"Stop it before you two get me pregnant." Nick says, in annoyance while glaring at the two teenage boys.

Sebastian snorts. "That'd be a miracle and a half. But I bet I could do it. Junior Smythe never ever disappoints."

"You named it Junior Smythe?" Nick asks incredulously.

"Of course I did. My cock has never failed me. Why wouldn't I name it? It's so obedient." Sebastian rolls his eyes playfully and rests his feet on Jeff's legs.

"Because I just assumed you had some hope for some normality." Nick sighs. "But I give up with you. Like, your normality is somewhere tight on a leash."

"Would you like me to tie you up with that leash?" Sebastian queries raising an eyebrow.

"Or I could do it," Jeff chirps in. "I don't think Sebastian would be very gentle with you."

Nick just blushes a bright pink and giggles _like a little girl_. Sebastian watches the whole exchange and ends up laughing to the point where there are tears in his eyes. "Oh my god, I needed that." He says after recovering from his laughing fit. "Wait, what makes you think that I wouldn't be gentle?"

"Really Sebastian, are you kidding with me?" The blonde deadpans. "What did you say to me when I first got here..."Jeff is deep in thought for a moment before he raises his hand up high in achievement. "Aha, I got it! It was 'Let's play kitchen. My cock will be the chair and you can get yourself acquainted.' Always the gentleman, I say."

"You'd better know it, Jeffy." Sebastian ruffles the blonde's hair.

"And does that work with all your conquests?" Nick asks with annoyance laced in his question.

"Is it working on you?" Sebastian counters with his signature smirk.

"No it isn't actually working on him." Nick gives Jeff a small smile after he says this and the two stare at each other lovingly, but are quickly doused out of this state by Sebastian chuckling.

"You're so oblivious – the both of you."

"What are you talking about?" Jeff raises an eyebrow in the direction of the taller boy next to him while Nick blushes.

As Sebastian is about to answer, his phone vibrates with a new text. A text from Kurt _after a whole week, _he might add. '_I'm sorry I didn't reply. I've been feeling exhausted and stuff. Everything actually went okay. Maybe I'll see you around at Lima Bean some time.'_

Sebastian types a quick reply to Kurt – completely unaware his friends' inquiries about their 'obliviousness.' Sebastian doesn't believe that Kurt is okay. But he refuses to care. If Kurt needed him he would say so, unless he's as stubborn as Sebastian was when _it _happened.

"Sebastian, are you even listening?" Jeff whines as he taps the green-eyed boy's cheek and gives him a worried look when he sees the look of in depth thought on the boy's face.

Sebastian shrugs. "Yeah, um I'm fine." He shakes his head and puffs his cheeks out, slowly letting the air out – something he's done from a young age in situations of frustration. He's slowly getting all the nerves out of his system so he can with life because everything is just getting absolutely ridiculous now, but Nick's less than delicate snort revs him out of his state of mind.

"That is by far, the _cutest_ thing I've ever seen in my life." Nick coos.

Sebastian glares at his shorter friend. "What are you talking about?"

"That puffy cheek thing," Jeff offers. "Oh my god, I just wanted to smack your cheek so it made that cute popping exasperated sound."

Sebastian rolls his eyes distastefully and gets off the couch, grabbing a towel. "You two are annoying me now, so I'm going to go shower. No, that is most definitely not the _heads_ up to make your own _popping_ sounds and to test your own cheeks' _puffing ability_ so I trust you'll behave."

"There's the Sebastian we all know and tolerate." Nick laughs.

"You love me." The tall boy waves his hand dismissively. "Everybody loves me."

Nick sticks his tongue out at his fellow Warbler. "Whatever."

With that, Sebastian makes his way to the showers. It seldom happens, but the time he spends in the shower is time spent thinking. He thinks about everything in there and tonight his mind is just full of shit. He thinks about how Hummel might be doing after everything (but he stops that right in its tracks because he will not be reduced to thinking about someone else's problems whilst he's in the shower. Especially if it's a guy and it's not even to _assist_ him.)

He thinks about how messed up things are at home – but also how they're coming back to restoration after so many years. He also thinks about how he misses Maxine and how much she used to be around. But then _he_ came and ruined Sebastian for good. Now it's as if he has no sister anymore. Sebastian quickly dismisses his thoughts and tries, though they are failed attempts, to wash the memories that accompany the thoughts from his brain. He doesn't like to remember how it was before it happened – when he and Maxine were so very close and everything was going to be okay no matter what because he has his best friend who was also, coincidentally his sister.

Sebastian's over his shower now. He makes quick work of drying himself off and putting on his sweatpants and fluffy socks – opting to go shirtless because it's ridiculously hot. And it's Friday which he's spending with Nick and Jeff as opposed to being out and about at Scandals. Stupid Hummel sauntered into his life and resurfaced all his _problems_, if you absolutely insist on calling them problems. All Sebastian can think is '_how dare he_?' So he's decided that he won't go out and ruin some guy's night that is just trying to get off because he feels like a prissy bitch.

All this thinking is taking up too much of his energy. He needs to sleep – but not before glancing at the time on his phone which reads 20:16. He's exhausted now. He's been with Jeff and Nick for five hours. That's sad, but he will never admit that it was fun to get his mind off of a couple of things with the boys as long as he could.

It's really weird for him to think about how much Kurt is changing his thinking. Sebastian coped perfectly well before, defense mechanisms in place and all as well as ignorance to the circumstances that were ruining his family. But because of Kurt and Blaine and what happened, it's making him think. He thinks about everything that happened and it really does sadden him to think about how it affected everyone. Though it did bring him and his mother closer, it still hurts that it pushed him and Maxine further apart.

"I'm tired." Sebastian whines as he arrives back to his room and crawls under his duvets, sighing at the comfort.

Jeff pouts and Nick snickers at the green-eyed boy's antics because _honestly_, Sebastian looks like a child who hasn't gotten the candy they asked their parents for and it's absolutely adorable.

"And what are we meant to do with that information?" Nicks raises his eyebrow at his friend who is in turn, glaring at him.

"You're supposed to process this information in your numb skull brain and then get the fuck out so I can get some sleep."

Nick sighs. "I wanna stay though. Your room is way cooler than mine. Besides, Benjamin snuck his girlfriend in the dorms for the weekend and I really don't want to be a cockblock, dude."

"Go sleep in Jeff's room." Sebastian's voice is muffled by his pillows. "Unless you shut up, you have to leave."

"Can't we just all sleep in here?" Jeff suggests.

"Nah uh, no slumber parties this weekend ladies. I'm not even getting sex out of this so it would do absolutely nothing for me."

Nick groans in frustration. "We're bored and it's um," Nick glances at Sebastian's bedside clock, "It's eight. Why are you even sleeping now?"

"'Cause m'tired." Sebastian yawns.

"If you pass out and we're quiet, you won't really know if we stayed? So it wouldn't really count, would it?"

Sebastian's head appears from beneath the pillows he had burrowed beneath to give Nick a half-hearted glare, but face plants on his pillow afterwards twice as quickly as he got up. "Okay, fine, very well. Stay in my room, but shut the fuck up. What are you going to do anyways, share the couch?"

Jeff smirks as-a-matter-of-factly. "No. Your bed is perfectly capable of holding us all, thank you very much."

"I don't even have the energy to argue with you." Sebastian sighs. "Just be quiet when you come to sleep and don't you dare wake me up or I will castrate you." Barely a minute pass before Sebastian's breathing evens out and he starts snoring lightly.

"Why is he so cute?" Nick chuckles as he walks towards the asleep Warbler's closet.

"I don't even know. It should be illegal." Jeff sighs. "Wait – why did you say that Ben has his girlfriend over? I'm pretty sure he went to Wisconsin for the long weekend to visit Tamera. Which then leads me to tell you that Tamera is Ben's girlfriend and she _lives_ in Wisconsin," Jeff chuckles.

"He looked upset." Nick shrugs and takes a pair of sweatpants for himself and throws a pair at Jeff.

Jeff sighs and raises an eyebrow with curiosity. "So what exactly was the plan you had?"

"When I'm sad, I like to be held. Or if someone's there to give me company, then that's cool too." Nick blushes, but continues on. "So, we're going to be here for Sebastian and we're going to keep him company because he looked upset after he got that text."

"You must not get very upset very often then." Jeff states.

"I do, but I suffice with using my pillow as a cuddle buddy." Nick chuckles.

Jeff frowns and looks deep in thought for a moment, but the look quickly disappears and for a moment, he has a glint of mischief in his eyes. "I'm the big spoon!" he calls laughing as he pulling on a pair of oversized sweats and a quickly running to grab a shirt – with a poodle on the front. The cotton of the shirt is really soft and comfortable but the boys chuckle anyway because the resident bad boy has a pink shirt with a poodle etched on.

"The little spoon is cooler." Nick huffs.

"Yeah, so much cooler," Jeff deadpans. "You get to wake up to his… morning_ problem_ probing itself in your personal space barriers."

"Oh wow, real mature Jeffery."

"I'm being honest. Now go fold your clothing you left on the floor. You will not just leave those jeans on the floor. They're in the Guess winter catalogue for men."

"That sounds like something Kurt would say. Or Sebastian's mom." Nick snorts. "They'd be proud."

The boys make their way into the bed and wake Sebastian up momentarily to move over. The boy mumbles something distinct about camels and glitter or _something,_ but keeps quiet quickly after that. He flings an arm around Nick's waist and leans into Jeff once he senses the boys' body heat near him (He's a clingy person once he knows he's not alone in bed it seems.) The action surprises the boys, but only leads Jeff to wrap his arm tight around the Warbler's waist and Nick rests his forehead against Sebastian's. Nick smiles at Jeff over Sebastian and whispers goodnight, earning his own whispered goodnight.

As soon as all the boys are asleep –as if it's timed– Sebastian's phone vibrates, alerting him of a new text. None of the three Warblers are heavily doused from sleep. Just a few incoherent mutterings and the boys on each side of Sebastian scooting closer to the French boy in the middle.

* * *

As Mercedes and Kurt sit down and drink their coffee after watching The Hunger Games, Kurt sends a quick text to Sebastian. It's a simple _'so, how have you been anyways?_' after the one where he reassured Sebastian that he was okay. He feels bad for ignoring the boy and he knows he should have done so for the whole week because all Sebastian wanted to do was help him. Or mock him – he isn't quite sure yet, but whatever it was makes Kurt feel better. Honestly, he couldn't find the courage to tell the Warbler that he had decided to go against both their plans and not break-up with Blaine. So that's why he's been ignoring his texts, but it's only been four.

"Kurt," Mercedes says irately. "What's wrong? You've been looking upset recently but you won't tell anyone what's wrong. Besides, you're totally dampening the mood tonight."

Kurt shrugs. "It's not a big deal, Cedes. I've just been a little down, but I'm okay."

"You know I'm here for you."

The thing is, now things are different between Kurt and Blaine. All of a sudden it's all about the PDA and standing up for yourselves in front of the jocks and the 'I love you''s. Blaine has never wanted to do that, ever. He hasn't even gotten slushied since he's started attending William McKinley, so Kurt doesn't know what is going on. He feels a bit suspicious because even though he and Blaine have been holding hands in the hallways and giving each other pecks before class, no jocks have said anything at all. He knows he should be grateful, but he's just confused as to what exactly has happened to the stupid hierarchy system the student body prided itself in so dearly.

Blaine's aggressiveness is also getting to him a little bit, but he thinks he should stop thinking about it now because he's supposed to be enjoying coffee with his friend. Immediately, the frown falls off his face slightly, and he attempts to give Mercedes a smile, which appears to be more of a grimace. He won't tell her now because he doesn't want to be a mood-ruiner, but maybe he will tell her eventually.

"Yeah, of course I do. It's something I'm getting over, I swear. I don't want to be a kill joy so that's why I've been on my own more often." Kurt sighs, "Well except for Blaine because of the obvious."

"You've been hanging with Santana."

Kurt rolls his eyes at his friend across the coffee shop table. "Well yes, because she just lets me be. I don't need to give her explanations for anything and we can just hang out."

"Well if she was a real friend she would ask you questions about how you're doing," Mercedes snarls in annoyance. "That's what I'd want from my friends."

"We have different views on what we want in a friendship," Kurt sighs, "that's okay. But you know what they say – opposites attract." Kurt chuckles, a little uncomfortable.

Mercedes frowns a little. "Listen, I don't know, since I-since I started dating Shane, it's been hard to spend time with my friends, and the fact that I'm with you should prove to you how much I care. So if you don't want to tell me, don't beat around the bush. Just say that you don't trust me."

"Well, I didn't say I don't trust you. I've been going through things. I'm getting over it so it really isn't a big deal. But this little, irrelevant, pointless guilt trip you're trying to take me on needs to stop right now." Kurt glares slightly at his female companion. "I have no remorse for this. If we're best friends, shouldn't you be here anyways? I don't think it's something I 'should' be grateful for, but I am grateful that you care. But honestly, I don't appreciate this one bit."

Mercedes glares at Kurt before standing up abruptly. "Of course you don't appreciate me looking out for you. Whatever." She grabs her bag and snarls at the porcelain skinned boy. "Goodbye Kurt. I'll see you at school on Monday, or maybe I won't because you'll be trying to avoid me like you usually do." By now the black girl is fuming at a shell-shocked Kurt Hummel who can only sit in his seat and listen to the words being thrown at him. "Maybe this weekend you'll sit down and finally think about who's there for you, but until you figure out that I'm legit, maybe we shouldn't hangout so much." Kurt's eyes widen as he tried to talk to the girl, but she isn't having it. "But it's not like we hang out anyways because you just dumped me on my ass when you and Berry decided to apply to stupid NYADA and started spending all your time talking about how you're going to take on the world together. I became a minority, but I am not having it. Just – ugh just have a good weekend. I don't actually care anymore."

Mercedes makes a move to walk away from the table they're sharing, but the power of speech is returned to the shocked teenage boy. Though now, he's angry and will not step down because this is all wrong. This is not how his night about with who he thought was one of his closest friend's was supposed to go.

"What the actual hell is wrong with you Mercedes? Since you've started Shane it's become like everyone who isn't a Cheerio or a jock is beneath you. I get that you're popular, like seriously, good for you," Kurt glares at the girl, "but us lesser folk still have to look out for ourselves. And if you have a problem with me having secrets, and someone to talk to about university because I obviously can't do that with you, then I no longer have interest in this conversation. Trying to make me feel guilty about this? That's just plain and downright selfish of you."

"I'm selfish?!" Mercedes shouts attracting whatever attention they didn't have from the other customers in the coffee shop. "You're one to talk! When things don't go your way you have a bitch fit. You're constantly talking about how you're the underdog and blah blah blah and to be completely honest with you, it's annoying." Kurt pales rapidly as the girl speaks. "Kurt Elizabeth Hummel," she grimaces as she spits out the name, "You're not the centre of everything and not everything is about you so I suggest you get into your head that you aren't as amazing as you obviously think you are and start thinking realistically if you wanna make something of your life. I'm going now. I've wasted enough of my fucking time with you."

Mercedes doesn't give Kurt enough time to reply. She simply walks away and flips off the crowd that had stopped their conversations to watch the spectacle that occurred. Kurt stares open mouthed at the girl as she walks away. If only she had given him time to reply then he would have thrashed her. _No, I want to be the better person in this situation. I just want to hurt her feelings because she hurt mine. Get over yourself, Kurt. You have our pride, you will not cry._ Kurt quickly picks up his satchel and walks out of the store. He needs air. He also snorts dryly because it seems as though as of recent, he's needed air a lot.

Kurt drives home and quickly changes into his pyjama's opting to leave out his skin care regime. He'll just extend it tomorrow morning. As he lies down in his bed after a long tiring day, he takes time to think about friendship lost. It all sounds so melancholic and depressing, but he'd like to go to bed knowing that he and Mercedes not being friends is for the best. If he really thinks about it, she was a bad apple on his tree and she didn't help him grow emotionally or for the better.

Kurt will never wish the girl bad luck, but she's always wanted to be in the spotlight. And since the casting for West Side Story she's been even more shut out to everyone, and so much bitchier to Kurt. Of course the show went spectacularly, but in the end, Mercedes did end up joining the Troubletones so the New Directions lost a strong voice. A moment is needed to put rest a friendship that, in the beginning, helped him accept himself, but at the end, brought him down to shreds because the comment about him making something out of his life well and truly hurt. He will always remember Mercedes as the first person he came out to, but he doesn't think he wants to remember any much besides that because it's barely good stuff.

This is all becoming way too serious for Kurt, but as he drifts off to sleep, he can't help but think about his reference to the bad apple, and how he is so willing to tell Sebastian about Blaine, if it means he can talk to the Warbler. Because, as much as he'll deny it, the first person he wanted to talk to about tonight was Sebastian Smythe. Before he goes to bed, he sends a quick, _'Lima Bean tomorrow at 4?' _in hopes that the green-eyed boy hasn't completely given up on him.

* * *

Sebastian's phone vibrates again, but none of the Warblers are awakened now. They continue to sleep, but at some point in the night, Sebastian starts whining, almost in distress, waking Jeff. The blonde boy sleepily runs a hand through Sebastian's hair and pushes himself forward further so he can clasp Nick's limp, asleep hand where it rests between the shorter brunette and Sebastian. Sebastian gives a satisfied sigh and nuzzles his head just below Nick's chin. Jeff falls asleep quickly after that, making sure that his brain is coherent enough at the current moment to know not to bring this up with Sebastian.

* * *

Sebastian wakes up and attempts to stretch, but there are legs entangled with his, and when he realizes why he can't stretch, he notices the breath ghosting over his face. Though he doesn't understand how because his conquests never stay over, so this one (_oh, two actually_, he corrects mentally) is persistent.

He cracks an eye open and the sight that awaits him is of a peaceful, serene, almost angelic looking Nick. His hair is ruffled and his mouth is slightly ajar. He wants to move away from the sleeping boy because he needs to use the bathroom, but Nick looks beautiful. Sebastian prides himself in being able to identify beauty for what it is, and this is a spitting image though he doesn't have any romantic feelings for his shorter brunette friend.

Slowly but surely he manages to untangle his legs from Nicks (And Jeff's because now he remembers what really happened last night, as opposed to his thoughts about having a well-deserved threesome) and gently pries Jeff's arm from around his waist. He shimmies down his bed as calmly as he can and quickly runs to the bathroom, relieving himself. He decides to take a quick shower and change into a pair of black high waters and a loose fitting mauve v-neck shirt, opting for no shoes again since he's just going to walk around his room for the majority of the day – perhaps go someplace in the evening.

When the Warbler gets back to his room, he is greeted with the cutest (No, not cute, sickening) image. Nick and Jeff have gravitated towards each other and have their foreheads pressed together, with hands intertwined above the duvet. Sebastian quickly retrieves his camera and snaps a picture of the boys.

Sebastian is going to study medicine. It's practical and he wants to help people, but he can't help his passion for photography. With photos, it is as if you get to look at the world in a whole new perspective. You get to see the true beauty of the object you are capturing and that gets Sebastian's blood pumping.

He takes pictures of everything – but his favourite is to take pictures of his mother and Maxine. They are both so devastatingly beautiful and almost look like twins, but Maxine has strawberry blonde hair in a pixie cut and bright blue eyes. She has the most perfect skin complexion anyone could ask for and a body that most girls crave – curvy but toned and lithe at a simultaneous time. She looks like a goddess, as does Blanché Smythe - the only difference being her brunette hair that falls in ringlets and her soft green eyes that almost look lime-coloured. Sebastian loves taking pictures of them because they're never forced, they always seem to be the most natural pictures – whether the pictures are displaying distress, happiness, sadness, fondness, childishness – it's always the most beautiful thing he's ever seen.

Sebastian quickly retrieves his phone from the bedside table and frowns at the alerts on his phone. 7 new text messages. Two from Kurt and the rest from a few guys wondering why he wasn't at Axis Nightclub or Union Café like he said he would. He ignores those for now and lands on the latest one Kurt sent at eleven thirty last night. _'Lima Bean tomorrow at 4?'_

Sebastian frowns at his phone for a fleeting moment, but does type back a quick _'You'd better not be late, princess.'_

* * *

Well, I did it. Chapter 3, done & dusted. I deleted this chapter and reposted it because I was unhappy with how it looked in the end.

I'm sorry about the last chapter, but let me explain. I didn't mean in any way to make alright Blaine's assault. I was trying to be realistic. Kurt is a fierce bitch so trust me when I say that this story won't lack his amazingness in the smallest bit. I love to hear your feedback and I appreciate it dearly.


	4. Chapter 4

I deleted and reposted this chapter because the first author's note was extremely rushed. Seriously. I appreciate you and all your reviews, follows, favorites and so on. This chapter is dedicated to fanficloverme96 because I'm getting unhealthily attached to her and I just think she deserves praise. Please go read Of Wine And Coffee right now.

Disclaimer : I don't own Kurt Hummel, Sebastian Smythe or anything associated with Glee. They all belong to Ryan Murphy, Ian Brennan and Brad Falchuk.

Tumblr : takemetoyoursecretparadise . tumblr. com

The French dialogue is in italics

Oh... and WELL DONE ON VOTING FOR OBAMA, AMERICA! That's all.

* * *

**Chapter 4**

* * *

Kurt sits quietly at a secluded table in the Lima Bean. He came a little earlier than he has told Sebastian to be there so that he has time to clear his head and figure out how to word everything he wants to say. A bunch of thoughts pass through his mind as he sips his caramel macchiato, but he's snapped out of his trance by a clearing throat. Kurt looks up to see Sebastian glaring at him slightly with his head held high, almost challenging him to make a comment about his less than graceful behaviour.

"Hi Sebastian," he mutters as he looks down at his shoes, avoiding eye contact with the Warbler.

"You don't get to not look me in the eye after this week," Sebastian takes a seat across from the former Cheerio. "What the fuck happened? Did you go into hiding or something ridiculous?"

Kurt notices that Sebastian has a coffee cup in his hand. He must have been more out of it than he realized for having not noticed the boy come into the coffee shop and get coffee. Kurt decides that Sebastian is not going to take him bullshitting – he almost knows the boy will know if he's being dishonest, so laying all cards on the line, decides to tell Sebastian exactly what he inquires of Kurt today. He'll be completely bare and vulnerable, but he has a good feeling about the friendship (is it even a friendship?) brewing between the two.

"I'm sorry. I just needed to clear my mind. Things have been – they've been really insane and I haven't particularly known how to go about fixing them."

Sebastian frowns slightly and takes a tentative sip of his coffee, leaning backwards and taking a quick glance over Kurt's face. He still looks pale, but it isn't his usual. Usually Kurt has a peach-like undertone to his skin, but now it isn't there. He looks like he hasn't gotten sleep in a while,bags under his eyes very evident and his shoulders are slumped. His eyes look defeated, but Sebastian notices there's a small glimmer of hope in his cerulean eyes, though minimal, it's there and Sebastian sees it.

"You look horrible." Sebastian quips.

Kurt glares at the boy. "Well you aren't exactly a sight for sore eyes."

"I am a beautiful sight for your sore eyes, so don't even start with me, princess."

"You know," Kurt sighs. "You're extremely annoying."

Sebastian shrugs. "I keep it real. And stop stalling because I don't want you to think that I'm letting you off the hook for not answering my question properly. How did Anderfuck take the break-up?"

"I-um- it didn't exactly go as planned. I- uh- I didn't break up with him."

Sebastian's eyes soften, though anger and sympathy are present in the emerald orbs. "Kurt, no, you can't just let him get away with it."

"Um – Sebastian you have to understand that it's really hard to just give things up if you've grown accustomed to them and Blaine – Blaine said he really loves me. He just needs to stop drinking and we can work on him being aggressive, but he's the only real love I've known and I know for a fact that he loves me, so I'm not just going to dump him on his ass." Kurt takes a deep breath. "Lovers overcome obstacles and come out stronger than originally were at the end of the whole ordeal – and I think that that's what really matters."

"Or one lover comes out stronger and the other ends up dead." Kurt tears up at his friend's hurtful words. "Now I'm not saying you're going to die so don't you dare take it like that, but you need to wake up and smell the coffee," Sebastian adds for good measure, "No pun intended. The fact of the matter is that you're trying to convince yourself that this is love and that it's okay. It's not good at all. I know it doesn't mean much coming from me, but you really need to be smart and strategical about this so that you don't come out broken in the end. Who's to say that if it's happened once, it won't happen again? You need to think about this."

"He loves me Sebastian." Kurt whispers. "He wouldn't hurt me intentionally. And stop being self-deprecating. We're friends?" Kurt asks cautiously. "And I care about what you have to say, though if you ever use my words against me, I will have to castrate you." Kurt chuckles.

Sebastian lets a small grin escape unintentionally. "We are friends, I think, though unstable at that, but I don't think we'd be able to pull off other people's ideas of friendship. But I appreciate that you're taking my words into consideration," he lifts an eyebrow, "well I hope you are. But I bet Blaine didn't even apologize properly, did he?"

Kurt chuckles while the taller boy speaks, but is frowning at the end of it because Sebastian's right. Blaine didn't really apologize. Or talk about it for that matter. He told Kurt that he had to be the better person and forgive him anyways. Kurt decides to leave out that small bit of information. "He sang me a song and he wrote me a – um letter."

Sebastian scoffs. "What song was this?" Sebastian lifts an eyebrow. "And what exactly did this letter say that's making you act stupid?"

Kurt glares slightly. "He sang Please don't leave me by Pink and mashed it up with Photographs by Rihanna. It was sweet. He was bold considering everything, but nevertheless sweet. And I have no obligation to tell you what his letter said."

"Fine then, don't tell me." The lacrosse player crosses his hands over his chest. "But I bet it wasn't even a proper apology, was it? Seriously Kurt, if I decided to sing you a song about how much I was in-love with you right now at this very moment, you'd call bullshit. I call bullshit. I don't believe him, and quite honestly I'm disappointed in you for falling for his lies."

"That's not fair. You don't understand what I'm going through, so you don't just get to judge me. You don't know how hard this is for me." Kurt takes a deep breath and continues. "I feel pathetic. This isn't just me doing whatever I want to because everything is rainbows and happiness or whatever else you think might be going through my brain. I know this is a dumb fuck move okay! Don't you think I hurt whenever he hurts because I keep flinching away from him? I've noticed him getting more aggressive and persistent since then, and that hurts Sebastian." Tears pool in the teens eyes. "It really fucking hurts because I feel like I don't even matter. Who the hell is going to love me if I leave him? Who else? There's no one who'd want me."

"That's my point Kurt!" Sebastian groans. "He's making you feel like shit, and yet you're choosing Kurt – choosing to stay with him on your own accord because of what? You're afraid you're going to be alone? You won't ever be alone. Your personality, though catty at times, is awesome, not to mention that you're attractive. What the hell is he worth if he's making you feel like shit? Because I may not do relationships but I know yours is unstable and dysfunctional. No means no, and everyone knows it. You need to pull your head out of your ass and stop taking his shit. I know you're a fierce bitch. Where is that fierce bitch hiding? Because it seems as though the real Kurt Hummel has crawled into a cave and here you are, just barely living." Sebastian groans at the look on the shorter boys face. "Stop it and come back Kurt. Be yourself again."

* * *

All in all, it has been a busy time, but he has spending more time with Sebastian as of recent. Since the coffee meet up, he had seen the Warbler at least twice a week. The taller boy had left Kurt speechless after the first time they had met up. For one, he was pissed at Kurt for ignoring him, but also for not breaking up with Blaine. When Kurt thinks about the day, so many things that said were unexpected, but definitely not unwelcomed. He needed the wake-up call. Even though Kurt is highly agitated with the Warbler for saying what he said, he needed it. Kurt wanted sympathy and he felt plain and downright pathetic, but he knows that Sebastian is right. Kurt has lost his inner bitch and it's up to him to find said fierceness. And the fact that Sebastian hinted (made sure Kurt acknowledged) that he thought Kurt was attractive is unnerving for the countertenor. Perhaps he was being polite because he feels bad for him, but Kurt knows for a fact that Sebastian doesn't really mean it.

Kurt should feel more upset or distraught about everything going on, but honestly he doesn't. It had been a tough week for the New Directions and the Troubletones. They had played dodge ball and the girls had gotten a bit out of control and made Rory's nose bleed, which Kurt was completely pissed at Santana for. He knows he should have noticed her being a bit down, and he will admit he was slightly at fault for not paying as close attention to her as she had paid to him when he was going through his rubbish with Blaine, but it honestly hadn't occurred to him that something could possibly be wrong because she didn't ever mention anything about it.

But after the Troubletones sang 'Rumour Has It' mashed up with 'Someone Like You' and Santana slapped Finn, it felt like Kurt had been slapped instead of Finn. He wouldn't have assumed that Santana hadn't come out yet considering how she and Britt strutted around school, but he supposes that to the others they just seemed like best friends. He knew that she was so irrevocably in-love with Brittany and that they had gone on a few dates since the beginning of the semester, but never would he have assumed she had so much going on for her, including the fact that she hadn't come out to her family. He felt like a horrid friend, but he was also happy that she trusted the glee club enough to be completely honest – well as honest as Santana can be about her feelings.

So after the whole debacle, she was nearly suspended, but Finn claimed otherwise and they had 'lady music week' as Finn called it. Songs originally sung by girls for girls to help Santana. The whole thing had gone spectacularly and Santana had finally understood that they would all be there for her no matter what happened and when she came out to her parents as well as her abuela. The thing is, when Santana had come out, her abuela had told her to never step into her house again.

The first person Santana had went to was Kurt, which he felt greatly honoured because he and Santana were close enough for her to tell her. She spent the night at Kurt's that evening and they had watched her favourite movies and ate ice-cream. Kurt had decided to tell Santana what really happened with Blaine, and to say she was angry at both Kurt and Blaine was an understatement. She got to the point where she started speaking in Spanish and smacking Kurt over the head, her mutterings in both English and Spanish. She was upset with Kurt for not breaking up with Blaine and threatened to cut his balls off, but Kurt managed to get her calmed down and told her that he entrusted her with the information because he trusts her completely and believes she won't tell anyone. Needless to say, that shut her up, though it didn't stop her from making commentary every so often about how stupid Blaine was.

And then there was the ballot debacle. Figgins had called Kurt into his office, with Burt there no less, and had told him about his win for senior class president as well as saying there were more ballots than there were students and proceeded to tell Kurt he was going to be suspended. It turns out that Rachel was the one who had stuffed the ballot boxes because she wouldn't stand for Kurt not winning the presidential votes. Kurt was pissed off with her, but he thought it was sweet that she had tried to help him. She was looking out for Kurt, sort of. She didn't want to be alone in New York, but neither would Kurt, so he understood. But her getting suspended also meant that the New Directions would be short of a member because Rachel wouldn't be allowed to compete. Things had gone completely wrong.

* * *

Kurt finds himself sitting across Sebastian on a Monday afternoon, telling him of the whole drama.

"Your school is insane." Sebastian exhales with wide eyes. "You're all batshit. How does that even happen?"

Kurt shrugs. "Rachel had a really big bag apparently. She fit over a hundred ballots were in it."

"But still. Why in her right mind would she cheat?" The green eyed boy rolls his eyes. "And if she was going to cheat, she may as well have done it right."

"I don't condone cheating, but you're right." Kurt shrugs.

"I'm always right."

"No you aren't. You're barely ever right."

Sebastian scoffs. "Remember last week when I told you that guy with the blonde hair was going to come say hi to you and you doubted me? Then what exactly happen? Oh wait, he came over and asked you if I was your boyfriend which was followed with him asking for your number."

Kurt pinches the top of his nose. "That doesn't count, idiot."

"I think it does," Sebastian smirks. "Besides, we're totally going off subject."

Kurt chuckles. "You're just saying that so that you can get away with having the last word, but that's okay. I'll give you that."

Sebastian is about to speak when his phone vibrates and he gives it a quick glance. As he looks down, he frowns slightly and gives Kurt an apologetic smile, almost asking permission.

"Go ahead." Kurt smiles.

Sebastian sighs. "Thank you."

Sebastian gets up from his seat and makes his way towards the line for coffee – which is nearly reaching the door at this point of the afternoon – and makes the call.

The girl on the other side of the phone connection makes an audible gasp as she answers the phone. _"Hi Sebastian, you called." _

The transition to French is barely noticeable by those around him._ "Of course I did. Are you okay?"_

_"I am fine, but I wanted to tell you to check the post when you get home."_

_"Um why?"_

_"Oh my god Sebastian, it's not a bomb. Just check it out." _Maxine sounds nervous. "_I uh – I miss you and I just – um want you to be surprised."_

Sebastian frowns and his eyes drop to the ground. _"Maxine, I miss you too. But how is it fair that you can just decide when you want things to be normal again. Can things even be normal again? I've needed my sister for so long and now you think it's right. Why now? I just don't understand."_

_"Sebastian, I understand you'd be upset with me, and I know that I'm older and should've been more mature about the whole thing, but I am sorry and I want to make it up to you. I know it's not your fault what happened and I genuinely wish I could take back all the horrible things I said to you, but I can tell you now that I'm going to try my damned hardest to earn your forgiveness. I just want us to be like how we were again,"_ she chuckles lightly, but that is followed by a series of sniffles before she continues. _"If you don't want me to try, I will leave you. But I really hope you give me a chance baby."_

Sebastian doesn't even realize that he's gotten to the front of the line before someone behind him mutters about him holding the line up. He looks up at the barista, Alicia, who gives him a small nod and mouths 'The usual?' and he nods at her gratefully and gives her hand a light squeeze as she gives him a receipt before moving out of the way.

_"Are you still there?"_

_"I'm sorry Max, I was just getting coffee_," Sebastian sniffles a little bit, _hold the fuck up – when did I start crying? No wonder Alicia was looking at me like an injured penguin. _He wipes the rapidly falling tears off of his cheeks at an alarming rate. _"I would really like it if we were how we were before. But we're going to need to talk."_

Maxine chuckles. _"That's why you should just go home and check the damn mail."_

Sebastian groans. _"What did you do?"_

_"You'll see."_ The green-eyed boy can almost see the smirk that's plastered on his sister's face.

_"Ugh fine, but I hope you know I don't trust you in the least bit."_

Sebastian continues to chat with Maxine whilst he waits for his coffee and smiles appreciatively at Alicia when she brings it. Making sure there are no tears on his face, he walks over to where Kurt is seated and gives him a lopsided grin as he listens to Maxine rant about the beautiful people in Thailand.

_"Okay, so I have to go now."_ He takes a quick look at Kurt. _"I'm at coffee with a friend, but I'll talk to you later okay? We can skype or something."_

_"Oh!"_ Maxine squeals. _"Why didn't you tell me you were on a date baby? I would have dropped this phone right away and go get that piece of ass."_

Sebastian flushes at her words. It's not that he finds Kurt unattractive – he actually finds him extremely attractive and had they met under different circumstances, he would have gone for his friend. But as of recent, all the Warblers have been bringing up a lot of _KurtandSebastian_ and it has genuinely been getting on his nerves. If you bring something up with Sebastian, he's going to think about it and over-analyse it because that's what he does best. So bringing up him and Kurt as a couple isn't really going to help him and the merciless teasing from both Nick and Jeff is doing nothing for his recent blushing issue. The lengthy wait he leaves Maxine with is enough to get her squealing loud enough that Kurt can hear her, and it's to the point where she starts speaking in very broken English.

"Calm down, angel," Sebastian says in English as Maxine keeps quiet. He quickly transitions into French, assuming Kurt won't understand. _"Thank you. Now I'll answer your questions. No, this isn't a date, yes he's pretty, no we aren't fuck buddies, and yes I promise you we're just friends. Now I'm being rude. I'll talk to you later. I love you."_

_"I want the details of this forbidden love later," _Sebastian snorts audibly, earning a raised eyebrow from Kurt. "_I love you too, Seb."_

Sebastian looks at Kurt, who still has a raised eyebrow and drops his head, banging on the table.

"Who was that?"

"That was my sister. She's up to her usual mischief, but we all learn to ignore it eventually."

Kurt chuckles. "I didn't know you had a sister."

"Not a lot of people do."

"Do you not like telling people?"

"No, it's not that. It's just that no one really asks, so I don't mention it," Sebastian laughs drily. "People just assume I'm this rich, spoiled only child."

Kurt blushes and looks down in shame. The action doesn't go unnoticed by the Warbler and he snorts in response. "It's okay if you thought so. I didn't really give you something to go on, now did I?"

"I suppose not," Kurt mutters. "But I hate when people just assume things about me and I did the exact same thing to you."

"It's okay, really. I'm so used to it."

"You shouldn't be though."

Sebastian shrugs. "Eh, whatever. It's okay. Now, would you like to hear about my sister," he raises an eyebrow, "or are you going to continue to try and give me a Doctor Phil counselling session?"

Kurt chuckles. "I want to hear of this sibling of yours."

"Thought so," Sebastian winks. "What do you want to know?"

"Well for one, how old is she? You don't peg me as an older sibling." Kurt chuckles. "No offence."

"None taken," Sebastian smirks. "She's 22. It's not that large a gap between us. I think you might know her, if your constant yapping about fashion is some kind of indicator that you're going to land up in the fashion world. Maxine Dioné."

Kurt chokes on his coffee, but makes quick work of composing himself before he speaks again.

"Shut up."

"Why would I joke about who my sister is?" Sebastian say with boredom laced in his words.

"Oh I don't know." Kurt says incredulously. "Because Maxine Dioné is the one woman all gay men would go straight for?"

"Okay ew," Sebastian cringes. "That really isn't a visual I needed in my head. Thanks for that, Hummel. Applaud yourself. My god, do you have no filter?"

Kurt snorts delicately. _How the hell does someone snort delicately_? Sebastian thinks. "That's so ironic coming from you, Sebastian."

"Whatever." Sebastian chuckles. "No imagining exploring your none-existent heterosexuality with my older sister."

"I can't believe Maxine Dioné is your sister. This is unreal. I almost feel star struck. Did you see her Victoria's secret photo shoot? She looked like a goddess."

"Yes, actually I did." Sebastian mumbles. "Half the boys at school are very expository in explaining what they'd like to do to her. _With her_. God, even _on her_. They are animals."

Kurt stares at the whining boy in front of him and bursts into laughter. "Oh my god, I should feel bad, but I really don't." Kurt rubs his eyes and pinches the tip of his nose. "Do they know she's your sister?"

"No, they most definitely do not. That would be asking for trouble." Sebastian gives Kurt an "are you a fucking moron" look. "Can you imagine the _'does she go for younger men'_ and all the _'could you hook us up'_'s. That was just a stupid question."

"I suppose so." Kurt says as he takes a tentative sip of his coffee. "So, why does she think that you and I are _copain de baise_?" Kurt asks as he leans back in his chair.

Now it's Sebastian's turn to spit his coffee out of his mouth. "Oh… my… god of course you speak French," he says between laughs. "Why wouldn't you - you be…able to?" the taller boy laughs himself dry, and takes a short time to compose himself. "Okay, well then, I needed that. But before I answer your question, you speak French?"

Kurt looks at Sebastian and clicks his tongue in offence. _"Don't assume things just because I was born in cowtown, Ohio. I probably know the language better than English and we all know my English is impeccable." _Kurt's transition is as flawless as Sebastian's, which leaves the Warbler with his mouth hanging open.

"Well I definitely didn't see that coming."

_"I know. I'm full of surprises."_

_"_And now you're just showing off. You're a little rusty, but we can fix that. _I'm sure your school filled with illiterate idiots doesn't help you much in that department."_

_"_I speak better French than my French teacher, and that's an AP class. It's actually kind of pathetic."

"Oh my god," Sebastian laughs. "Well then, Kurt Hummel. I will surprise you with the spontaneity of my French skills every so often to keep you sharp.

"I look forward to it." Kurt smiles, but can't help but think that he misses this type of banter with Blaine. He and Blaine used to be able to converse about almost anything, and now it's as though they're walking on eggshells. Blaine is really trying, but the thing is that Kurt doesn't feel the pull as hard as it used to be for his boyfriend. He can't seem to figure out why though.

As if it's timed, a text message from Blaine comes through. _'Can you come over? I'm really bored and I really miss you ;)' _Kurt sighs audibly and types out his own _'Be there in half an hour.' _He sets his phone down giving Sebastian an apologetic look.

"I have to go now. Blaine asked me to come over."

"Ah," Sebastian clicks. "Well then, go off and be with Anderfuck. I'll see you on Wednesday, princess."

"You really need to stop calling him that, Sebastian."

"I will do when he stops acting like a stupid fuck. _Au revoir, I will see you soon." _

With that, Sebastian grabs his blazer which was hanging over his chair and saunters out of the Lima Bean. Kurt takes a deep breath and makes a move to get off his chair, but is stopped by a firm hand on his shoulder. The hand moves and Alicia appears in front of him, two coffee cups in hand, and a small smile.

"Are you okay, Kurt?"

"Yeah, I'm okay. I'm just a bit stressed." He shrugs, but gives her a smile.

"You and Blaine?"

"Sort of. I'm not actually sure."

"I've seen how you guys are now. Don't worry." Alicia grabs Kurt's hand. "I'm sorry you're feeling like this. I hope that you feel better soon okay?"

"Thanks angel, that means a lot to me."

The short, African-American girl with the pixie hair-cut pushes a coffee cup towards Kurt. "I thought you might need this. You looked like you were about to leave. Drive safe, sweetheart."

"You get home safe as well, okay?" Kurt presses a kiss on the short girl's cheek, causing her to blush. "I'll see you Wednesday."

"You really need to stop that, Kurt Hummel." Alicia says as she looks down, blushing.

"If you stopped looking so adorable every time I did, I would. But since you're still blushing right at this very moment," he leans down and cheekily presses another kiss to her cheek. "I don't intend on stopping." Kurt turns to walk away, but looks over his shoulder when Alicia calls for him.

"You, sir, are unfair." She chuckles.

"I never claimed I was fair." Kurt winks as he walked out.

The whole walk to his car, Kurt is smiling. _Sebastian and I need to think of something to do for Alicia's birthday._

* * *

Alicia has a story Kurt is happy he's never had. A few weeks ago, she asked if she could talk to Kurt and Sebastian. She had seen Kurt come in with Blaine a lot, and though they had held hands, she thought it right to ask if they were dating first. Kurt has said that they were, and she had asked him advice about coming out. She had just started her second Lima Community College and had been with her girlfriend for six months, afraid to tell he parents.

Alicia decided she needed to come out because even though she wasn't going to be with Lucy, who broke up with her because they were a secret, she wanted to be true to herself. She had asked Kurt for advice and he had said that she should just come out when she's ready. A week later, she did and her parents kicked her out of the house. She lived with both Kurt and Sebastian for a little while before the latter had convinced (forced and locked out of the house until she agreed) her to talk to Lucy. It had gone well and she was now living with Lucy – they weren't dating again though – because Lucy wanted proof that Alicia was in it for the long run.

Sebastian thought it was stupid that she hadn't thought Alicia was in it for the long run, but went along with it. Alicia's birthday was coming up on that Saturday and Kurt wanted to celebrate it and make it special for her.

Kurt realizes he has been sitting in his car for quite some time when Alicia knocks on his window.

"Get your sweet ass home, Kurt."

"I'm going, I'm going." Kurt chuckles. "Bye honey."

Alicia blows Kurt a kiss and started walking towards her home. Kurt's phone vibrated again, alerting him of a text message. _'Are you nearly here?'_

_'I got caught up in a bit of traffic," _Kurt lies. '_I'll be over soon.'_

Kurt inserts his keys into the ignition of his car before making his way to Blaine's house. Before he can knock on the door, it is flung open by a worried looking Blaine who pulled Kurt into the house very unceremoniously.

"Where the hell were you? I got really worried."

"Okay, relax," Kurt said, smoothing invisible wrinkles on his shirt. "I was at the Lima Bean and I got caught up with Alicia."

"You spend a lot of time with Alicia. Do you know that?" Blaine queries as he pulls Kurt up the stairs to his bedroom. "Almost more time than you spend with me. No wait, more than me for sure. Why?"

"Well, I go to the Lima Bean a lot." Kurt pulled his arm free from Blaine's near-painful grip and glared at his boyfriend. "Alicia works there and she's my friend. So of course I spend time with her."

"But every single time I offer to come with, you say no." Blaine groans. "I just want to spend more time with you, but you aren't giving me that."

Kurt's glare disappears completely and he looks at Blaine's puppy eyes. He feels really bad for not spending time with his boyfriend, but he supposes that it's just because he had a really stressful day. "I'm sorry baby. I don't mean to. You know Alicia needs a friend. She needs me and Sebastian."

Before Kurt realizes what he's said, Blaine grabs his wrists and holds it so Kurt can't move.

"What about Sebastian?" Blaine growls.

Kurt stares open mouthed at the boy. "Because he was there and she's friends with him. What else would you think I meant?"

"I really don't want you hanging out with him, Kurt." Blaine moves closer to Kurt, resting his head on Kurt's shoulder – grip still evident on Kurt's wrists.

"Blaine, let go of me right now, or so help me god -"But before Kurt can finish his sentence, his wrists are free, there are a full pair of lips mauling his and a tongue is swiping against his mouth, attempting to force itself between his lips. It takes him a moment before his body goes into shock and he pushes Blaine away with an agitated look on his face. "Don't do that again. I've told you not to sneak attack me, and you really need to stop."

"I'm trying to be romantic," Blaine shrugs. "And it is not a sneak _attack_, Kurt."

"No you aren't. You're making me uneasy and I really want you to stop."

Blaine pouts for a moment before replacing the pout with a smile. "Do you want to watch Moulin Rouge?"

Kurt sighs audibly at the lack of response he keeps getting from his boyfriend. "I suppose so."

* * *

As the boys watch Satine and Christian have an affair, oblivious to the fact that everyone on the brothel knows about it, he receives a text message. As soon as he sees the ID, he puts his phone down hoping that Blaine doesn't see the text.

"Aren't you going to read that?" Blaine asks irately.

"I'll read it later. Now it's me and you time."

* * *

Kurt gets into his care after bidding Blaine goodbye and exhales loudly _because that was honestly the most awkward time I've shared with Blaine in my life and I've been through the baby penguin times. _He decides to read the text messages when he gets home, because it seems as though whatever Sebastian had to say couldn't really wait. Kurt had to put his phone on silent, it was getting on Blaine's nerves so much.

The moment he parks his car and starts walking towards to door, he opens the text messages.

**From Sebasti****an** (18:20):_ OH MY FUCKING GOD. I'M UNABLE AND ILLITERATE AND I SOUND STUPID BUT MAX GOT ME TICKETS FOR MARINA & THE DIAMONDS_

Kurt chuckles at the boy's antics and continues to read through the texts.

**From Sebastian** (18:22):_OH MY GOD I'M DYING I CAN'T BREATH SHE GOT ME TWO AND YOU'RE GONNA COME WITH ME AREN'T YOU?_

**From Sebastian** (18:23:)_ SOMEONE LOVES US KURT._

**From Sebastian** (18:23):_ OH MY GOD IT'S IN AMSTERDAM OVER CHRISTMAS BREAK'_

**From Sebastian** (18:25): _I'M DYING KURT. I CAN'T BREATH MARINA IS PERFECTION OH MY GOD I'M FAINTING WHAT IS AIR. WHAT THE FUCK IS AIR_

* * *

Only once he has had a good laugh about the fanboying tendencies Sebastian has just shown and earned a few curious looks from his father setting the table does he realize that Sebastian said that he's got two tickets. Two tickets for Kurt's favorite singer. Whom Sebastian has said that Kurt is attending with him. In Amsterdam. With Sebastian. The two of them. Marina fucking Diamandis. Then Kurt loses his shit.

* * *

MARINA DIAMANDIS STRIKES AGAIN.  
Reviews are love, so please send me some love. xo**_  
_**


	5. Chapter 5

First of all; Happy Thanksgiving Weekend guys :)

And, I know. Please don't say it. I'm an ass. But on my behalf, I lost the internet connecting memory stick thing and I couldn't access the internet on my laptop and we just moved house. I hate painting so much. So fucking much.

Disclaimer : I don't own Kurt Hummel, Sebastian Smythe or any of the characters associated with Glee. They all belong to Ryan Murphy, Brad Falchuk and Ian Brennan.

P.S : Grant in Dark Side killed me with the perfection he is.

P.P.S : Oh, and the CrissColfer ice-skating pictures ruined my life.

P.P.P.S : takemetoyoursecretparadise. tumblr. com

* * *

**Chapter 5**

* * *

"So, let me get this straight," Kurt raises an eyebrow. "You're going to Kentucky to get Sam?" Finn nods. "So he can compete at Sectionals, Regionals and hopefully Nationals with us?" Finn nods again, a grin growing on his face as Kurt asks him questions. "And dad is alright with this?" Finn rolls his eyes with exasperation. "And he's going to live with us?" Finn nods again. "And-"

"Oh my god, Kurt," Finn whines. "Please Stop? Sam is going to live with us, Burt said it's alright. Rachel and I are going to ask him if he'd like to come and you're most definitely invited to come with us because … you know… Rachel and long drives, me all alone…" Finn blushes sheepishly, almost looking guilty for the statement, making Kurt chuckle.

"You don't want to be stuck in a confined space with your crazy girlfriend for a couple of hours alone. I can see why, and I can work with that." Kurt laughs. "So, when are we leaving?"

"We're leaving tomorrow morning. Is that okay?" Finn asks.

"Yeah, that's fine."

"Okay awesome," Finn beams. "Thanks bro." As the tall boy turns to walk away, he quickly turns. "Do you want me to invite Blaine?"

"Um," Kurt hesitates with a small frown. "You can if you'd like to."

"Great. Rachel said I should but I wanted to make sure you were okay with it," Finn smiles. "We're bros. And that's what bros do, right?"

"Right Finn," Kurt's frown softens and he gives Finn a small smile. "Thanks for asking."

"You know? On the other hand, Blaine's still a junior so I think I'll just leave him so he can work," Finn says smiling sympathetically. "He won't be getting to New York all by his lonesome."

Kurt chuckles and takes an internal breath of relief. "You're right about that." Kurt picks up his satchel and heads out the door. "Thanks again, Finn. See you later."

"Oh," Finn frowns. "Where are you going?"

"Lima Bean." He answers quickly. "Just like every Tuesday."

"And Monday. Friday. Sometimes the whole weekend too." Finn quips.

Kurt rolls his eyes playfully, walking out with a wink to his brother. "Have fun at Rachel's."

Finn blushes brightly mumbling a quick "thanks."

* * *

Kurt's in a great mood. Sebastian told him that week that he had managed to get an extra ticket for Alicia to come to the concert with them thus making it her birthday present. Sam had also come back from Kentucky. Kurt loved going to go get him. It didn't really suck that he got to see _White Chocolate_ in his sexy element. Blaine and Sam had fought and Blaine had offended Sam by saying that he wasn't for sale and the drama had commenced. Everything was okay now, but Kurt honestly had no interest in Blaine's petty fights anymore.

When Kurt arrives at the Lima Bean, he sees a very jumpy and excited looking Sebastian, though he can understand why. When it had finally clicked that Sebastian wanted him to go to the concert with him, Kurt just about had a heart attack. First off, he feels honored that Sebastian thought to ask him (He didn't really ask Kurt to attend,_ if we're being completely honest_) if he wants to go with him, but he is also extremely happy for the boy. The only memories of Sebastian bringing up his family (Minus the whole 'I have a sister who just happens to be an extremely famous model' bit) he always looks sad, and for a moment whenever he does, he just sits and stares at his coffee, looking distraught and melancholic. Though the moment he snaps out of his state of mind and realizes what happened, he frowns and brushes it off, querying Kurt as to move the spotlight off himself. He thinks Kurt doesn't notice.

Kurt goes to stand in front of the chair across from the smirking boy. "Princess," he says in salute. "You look like a boy today." He says, taking in Kurt's black skinny jeans, white v-neck t-shirt, grey unbuttoned vest, and black Doc Martens.

Kurt is in a great mood. He knows he was taking his chances by wearing a white shirt, but today he seemed to be invisible to the jocks, thus leaving him un-slushied for some arbitrary reason. And it's Friday, so he's under the impression that today should initially be good days.

"I didn't get slushied at all today." Kurt grins.

"Your school is barbaric." Sebastian heaves a deep sigh and takes one more, subtle, unnoticed appreciative once-over of Kurt. "This look is tolerable. I could get used to this."

Kurt rolls his eyes playfully as he takes a seat. "I'd say the same about you, but I don't know what you're wearing, and whenever you are wearing something, I usually want to burn it because it looks that horrible."

Sebastian shrugs. "You say that, but I know you want to burn my clothes so that you get to see me naked."

Kurt blushes a brilliant shade of pink and covers his eyes in defeat. "Oh my god, I really didn't need that visual."

And Kurt is being honest. He did not need the visual of Sebastian Smythe naked in his brain. In this friendship of theirs, he has come to the acceptance of one thing; Sebastian is extremely attractive. _Okay fine, Sebastian is a sex god. _And though he has no feelings towards his friend, he will admit internally that appreciates it when Sebastian wears his v neck shirts because really? _Those shoulders, that chest, and my god what am I doing? _Point being, he doesn't need the visual of a naked Sebastian. But perhaps the Warbler has as many freckles on the rest of his body as he does on his face, and down his neck. He wonders how far the freckles go down and – _Oh my god, stop. You pervert. Just stop. What is wrong with you?_

"I'm pretty sure you got the better deal out of that conversation, but okay," Sebastian chuckles, but the moment the laugh is out of his mouth, he pulls on a poker face and narrows his eyes at Kurt. "I swear to god Hummel, if you relay my … _enthusiastic_ text messages to anyone -even myself- ever again, I will disown you as my friend."

Kurt looks at the boy in front of him with wide eyes. Then he grins like a Cheshire cat, letting a small giggle of amusement flow from his mouth, but quickly averts his eyes from Sebastian and blushes a deep shade of pink.

The taller boy lets out a small chuckle. "So now we're even. That was the girliest giggle I've heard in my life. My mother laughs like that when my dad whispers in her ears. Though I don't want to know what he's saying, I sort of have an idea."

"Oh shut up." Kurt mumbles. "This isn't a matter of fairness or not. The matter of fact is that you're a fangirl and-,"

"I'm a boy." Sebastian quips.

"You're a fangirl, and I think it's absolutely hilarious." Kurt finishes off, throwing a glare in the direction of the taller boy for interrupting him mid speech.

"You're as much of a fangirl. You tweeted Lady Gaga until she tweeted you back. I'm pretty sure she was being nice because seriously? If i got 67 tweets from someone, I'd be scared. You sit on a throne of lies, Kurt E. Hummel. Though I've yet to figure out what the 'E' stands for."

"It's Elizabeth, first of all. Second of all, had Marina Diamandis tweeted you, or even _Rihanna_ for that matter because you're in the damn Rihanna ocean, I would have done the same for you."

"Rihanna Navy, Kurt. It's called the Rihanna Navy. And you haven't seen her perform live like I have. She's flawless."

"Why am I even friends with you?" Kurt laughs.

"Ugh, god, sometimes I'm overwhelmed with how kind I am to you." Sebastian huffs. "Even when you're annoying me. Which is basically every single day of my fucking life, I might add. You should feel honored. I'm not nice to very many people. Everyone's a peasant. You're like a squire. "

"Oh wow," Kurt mutters incredulously.

"My point exactly," Sebastian throws his arms in the air in achievement. "Now where were we?"

"You know, I don't even know anymore. Nothing we ever say stays on topic. We were probably talking about something strange like socks. Or curtains. Or-"

"Or sex. We were probably talking about sex." Sebastian says as-a-matter-of-factly. Kurt snorts, but quickly averts his eyes away from the Warbler, small blush rising up on his cheeks.

"You snort a lot. I totally thought that was an every so often thing, because sometimes when you don't even notice you do it." Sebastian laughs. "I seriously did not see that coming. You've been blessed with my presence for weeks on end. I don't know how I didn't notice that Princess Elizabeth snorts so often and indignantly. I feel so out of the loop now."

"Well you're definitely an inquisitive little fish, aren't you? Let my snorts be." Kurt says quickly, borderline irritation.

"Hey, relax please? And besides, it was kind of cute." Sebastian says.

Sebastian realizes what he's said before Kurt does and blushes a bright shade of pink, shortly followed by a rapidly blushing Kurt, who's started playing with the bottom of his jacket, smile clearly visible on his face.

"You think when it's cute when I snort?" Kurt says, hoping to make the green-eyed boy across from him blush even further whilst trying to contain his own persistent blush.

"Well…" Sebastian fidgets under the look Kurt gives him. "I don't know how that's possible, but you're definitely something different." The boy agrees and musters up some of his confidence that had chosen to hide itself when complimenting Kurt before smiling at the latter with a sheepish grin.

"You two look like blushing virgin teenage boys." Alicia laughs appearing out of nowhere, grabbing a chair from an empty table and setting her hands on the table. "What gives?"

Sebastian and Kurt glance up at each other momentarily and burst out laughing, thankful for their friend and her comments in the appropriate situations.

"Oh my god," Sebastian sighs. "I think we just had out first awkward moment. I feel like there's a blossoming feeling of relief in my heart." He says, feigning passion, with a hand present over his heart.

"Well thank god it's over," Kurt agrees with an indignant snort.

_Again with that stupidly cute snort. How do you snort cutely? _Sebastian thinks.

"I don't know how long we would've gone on. Though knowing you, you would've made some innuendo about it eventually." Sebastian attempts a glare at Kurt for his comment, but a twitching smile is very present on the face of the Warbler.

"I second that," Alicia smiles, a dimple appearing on her upper cheek.

Sebastian feigns offence. "You guys are just plain and downright rude."

"But you like it, don't you?" Kurt and Alicia say simultaneously leaving Sebastian raising an eyebrow.

"Aw, soul sibs." They coo simultaneously.

Sebastian scoffs and stands up. "I'm going to get coffee now before you start making up more untrue facts in your head about my feelings towards you and doing that creepy talking-at-the-same-time thing you're always doing. Seriously, it's ridiculously weird and I think you should stop just for the sake of everyone who has to tolerate you assholes."

"Non-fat Grande Mocha for me and Caramel Macchiato for Alicia. Though I'm sure you already know this." Kurt calls to the Warbler, giving him a sly wink.

There is no way that Kurt's wink made Sebastian's heart flutter a bit. Not at all.

Sebastian scoffs. "I refuse to get you and your hag in crime coffee. You can go and fucking-"

"Please and thank you babe." Alicia winks at him, giving him a light tap on the ass. "You're my little angel."

"Oh my god," Kurt laughs. "You even sound like him. What happened to the innocent girl we met a few months ago that blushed when we asked her about her girlfriend?"

"Well I do learn from the best, and that would be Sebastian," Sebastian preens at the compliment, "because I remember when you used to come in with Blaine, and trust me when I say, you were quite the angel."

"Kurt was always a bitch. What the hell are you talking about?" Sebastian quips.

"Go get us coffee and stop being annoying." Kurt laughs.

"I'm only going because I really want coffee. Not because you told me so."

Alicia wolf whistles as Sebastian half-heartedly glares at Kurt and walks towards the small line muttering about 'infidels' and 'cocky idiots'.

"God, what would we be without him?" Kurt chuckles.

"I don't even know." The green-eyed girl meets the gaze of her cerulean-eyed friend. "Though I think normal would be one of the descriptions used for us. And _that,_ in itself is extremely weird, Kurt Hummel, because we will never be normal."

"You have a point. I can't imagine a normal version of you. Even the innocent version of you was a bit strange. But now I've just given up all hope on ever finding socially appropriate friends so I accept you as you are. And Sebastian too, I suppose. I don't really think it's an option anymore." Kurt chuckles. "We're all stuck together. Like butterflies in marshmallows."

"Well that sounds extremely gay." Alicia laughs. A bright spark of curiosity appears in her eyes before a look of guilt comes alongside it. "Can I ask you a question? Like, you totally don't have to answer it, but it's just something I've been curious about for a while and I would really like to know if my suspicions are true."

Kurt raises an eyebrow. "You know that you can always ask me whatever you want to and if I don't want to answer, I'll tell you, and give you real reasons as to why." Kurt chuckles. "So, now pout with the question."

_"_Well, it might not be true, but it really does look true and I just – don't get offended because I know how you can be. This is just a question, whether it's legit or not, I just-"

"Please stop talking. You're physically hurting my brain with the short-circuiting yours is doing." Kurt laughs. As he laughs, a few words leave Alicia's mouth, all jumbled. "_DoyoulikeSebastian?"_ She rushes her words, Kurt barely catching them, but he did indeed catch them. _DoyoulikeSebastian? Do you like Sebastian? Does he like Sebastian? Obviously_, the only logical answer to that question would be a flat-out no, because that isn't something he can allow to happen. Ever.

Even when Sebastian smiles and his stomach does this weird fluttery thing. _That's totally disgust_, he reckons, His smile is too cocky and arrogant, and Kurt doesn't like that one bit. Except for when Sebastian has one of those genuine, bright smiles. _Those smiles that leave crinkles at the corners of his eyes._ But Kurt brushes off the feelings he experiences as happiness because of the fact that his friend is happy. That's still a weird phrase in itself to him. He and Sebastian Smythe are friends. Sebastian Smythe and Kurt Hummel are _friends._

"Well of course I like him Alicia, we're friends." Kurt raises an eyebrow, avoiding his female companion's initial question. "Why wouldn't I? You like him, so I think I've got a jail free pass in that department." He chuckles.

"No, I didn't mean like that and you know it, Kurt. Do you _like_ Seb? As in more than friends. As in, the looks I see you two giving each other when other people aren't watching, or well, when you think they aren't."

Kurt looks at his friend and grimaces, flinching slightly at the last bit of her sentence. "No, I most definitely do not like Sebastian enough for me to want him to be my boyfriend, if that's what you mean. What would even give you that impression?" Because Kurt really doesn't like Seb like that, so it technically isn't a lie. Yes, he thinks he's attractive, but that's the extent of that 'relationship' if you can even call it that. Or attraction. That works as well.

Alicia shrugs. "I don't know. I just thought you guys would be cute and the way you guys look at each other sometimes," Alicia mumbles the last part. "But I guess I was wrong. Though if I was, you really need to work on that love-sick puppy facial expression you're always giving him if what you're saying is the truth."

"You're wrong, honey. But it's okay." Kurt shudders. "Sebastian and I wouldn't be cute. Besides he doesn't do relationships and even if he did, I highly doubt I'd be his type. Just think about that logic. It would be ridiculous. We're both such bitches. We'd forever be fighting. And speaking of ridiculous, I _do not_ have a lovesick puppy face whenever I see him. That's just stupid and gross."

"I wouldn't be so sure about that." Alicia shrugs.

Kurt sighs. "What are you talking about?"

"I am merely stating that I wouldn't be so sure that you wouldn't be his type if I were you." The small girl says as-a-matter-of-factly. "There's something special about you. To everyone, not just me, or him even. I just – I wouldn't put myself down for no reason."

"Really Alicia," Kurt deadpans. "Can you really see Kurt _gayface_ Hummel dating Sebastian _sex god_ Smythe? I don't see it, so I genuinely don't know how you could possibly see it. And besides, the tipping scale ratio of attractiveness blows. You've got the Victoria's Secret model and then you have the potato. Or the garden gnome. It really is your pick."

Alicia frowns. "You know that he's just kidding. Just like you call him horse teeth - I know that you're kidding-," Kurt makes a move to protest but Alicia glares at him and raises her index finger, silencing the countertenor.

"Whatever," Kurt mumbles. "You're obligated to say that to me. You're my friend."

"I want you to know that you're extremely attractive, so don't start this gayface bullshit because there should be no reason in hell you believe that. You're hot and I'd totally date you if there was any chance of us being even slightly heterosexual. But that's never going to happen because we are homosexuals and we were born this way."

"You had to add Lady Gaga, didn't you? Kurt chuckles weakly.

"Yes, I did. But did you hear what I said?"

"Yes."

"Promise you'll believe me?"

"Maybe."

"That's good enough for me." Alicia leans back in her chair and puts her arms behind her head, smirking at Kurt. "So, Sebastian _sex god_ Smythe, is it?"

Kurt pales visibly and chokes on air. "You know that those words slipped out completely by mistake." Kurt whines. "I didn't intend for it, so I really hope you won't blow this out of the water or else I will be forced to stop giving you romantic advice and you will be forever single because I swear to god, you're worse than Mr bang-and-dash."

"But was it really a mistake?" she wiggles her eyebrows suggestively. "Besides, you should really work on your wording, because really? Talking about sex gods and slipping out isn't really pleading your case."

"What am I going to do with you? You're just proving my accusations to your lack of romanticism." Kurt mumbles; his blush high and very visible on his cheeks.

"You're going to do absolutely nothing with me. Though I'd like to know what you're going to do with Sebastian. Maybe you'll _blow him_… out of the water. Or in the water. Whatever, I just want to see it happen." Alicia winks.

"Oh my god," Kurt groans. "You're such a voyeur."

"What the hell have you been saying to Hummel? He looks like ketchup." Sebastian says abruptly, taking his seat and giving his friends a raised eyebrow as well as their preferred drinks earning a mumbled 'thanks' from Kurt and a bright smile from Alicia. "And why did I hear something about voyeurism?"

"Oh, um nothing – yup that's it – nothing at all. She was trying to explain the mechanics of lesbian sex and I told her I had no interest because that information will never be of use to me." Kurt stutters avoiding both Alicia's glare and Sebastian's inquisitive stare. "So the voyeurism was her telling me, in excruciating and very unwanted detail about her sex life and then casually saying that I should watch because she obviously does the sex no justice."

"Ah," Sebastian hums around his coffee cup. "I see. And all that time I wanted to give you advice on how to get back into Lucy's teeny tiny skirt, but no. You asked Hummel here, who's afraid of vaginas, for advice. I see how it is now." The green-eyed boy sighs, amusement and sarcasm evident in his words. "I thought we were closer than that."

"Please stop talking?" Alicia covers her eyes in embarrassment as she asks. "Please do, just - please?"

"Yes, please, really, stop talking." Kurt quips. "And I am not afraid of vaginas. Besides, what the hell do you know about lesbian sex? And what would you do with all this knowledge in any case?"

"You'd be surprised," the Warbler shrugs. "There's a lot you don't know about me, princess."

Kurt raises an eyebrow. "Like the fact that you have a knack for learning about lesbian sex?"

"No Hummel," Sebastian groans. "I research things. When people question my superiority or intelligence, I know for a fact that I know what I'm talking about. I will never get into an argument knowing that I'm not correct and seeing as-"

"Wait, but you always do that with Kurt." Alicia says bluntly, avoiding the daggers sent her way by Sebastian in his glare. "I swear sometimes you just start talking and hope your sentences come to you as you speak. It's actually quite hilarious."

Kurt laughs and Sebastian pouts. "Is today 'Gang up on Sebastian Day' or what?"

"It's definitely 'or what'." Kurt provides. "But you know we're kidding, so it's okay."

"Do I Kurt?" Sebastian deadpans. "Do I really know that?"

"Does he really know what?" A surprised voice asks. This encounter suddenly reminds Kurt of the first time he saw Blaine with Sebastian.

* * *

_"He's really great." Kurt hears Blaine as he walks toward his table._

Best make my presence known, _he reckons. "Who's really great?"_

_"You!" Blaine exclaims with relief and a small tinge of guilt evident on his face. "We were just talking about you. Sebastian, this is Kurt, my boyfriend who I was just-"_

_"Got it," Sebastian says quickly, with an eyebrow raised._

_"Wow." Blaine says with extreme discomfort._

* * *

"Blaine, um hey, what are you doing here?" Kurt asks with guilt laced in his words.

_Why the hell does he sound guilty? _Sebastian thinks.

When Blaine doesn't answer and opts to glare at both Alicia, who has sunk low into her chair, and Sebastian who is glaring back in ten-fold, Rachel feigns a cough to make her presence known. _Just like always,_ Kurt thinks.

"Do you have a cold or something, dwarf?" Sebastian asks. "Go hibernate or something."

"That's extremely rude and is not how you treat company." Rachel replies back. "And anyways, I'm not going to be here for long, so you can keep your insults to yourself whilst we take Kurt with us for decent company." Rachel looks over Alicia and smiles brightly at Kurt. "So Kurt, are you coming with us?"

"Yeah," Blaine agrees; confused expression still on his face. "Are you going to come with Rachel and I, or are you going to stay here? We were actually looking for you."

"He's going to stay here, thank you very much hobbit face." Sebastian says as-a-matter-of-factly.

Blaine stands up taller to attempt to look intimidating, but Sebastian just thinks that the shorter boy looks absolutely ridiculous. "Why would he choose to stay with you when he can be with his _boyfriend_ and his _bestfriend?"_

Alicia chokes on her iced coffee and blushes, looking down in shame. "Sorry. Went down the wrong pipe at the completely wrong time. That always happens to me."

"Mhmm," Rachel hums in disbelief earning narrowed eyes from the Alicia.

"So are you coming, Kurt? Because we really need to practice for NYADA and Blaine said he'd help us. Which is very sweet and boyfriend-like of him, so I think we should take advantage of his stellar behaviour and get practicing, god know you need a bit of polishing for the audition. But at least we'll be prepared for when we get our finalist letters, right?" Rachel gives Kurt a soft smile.

_Kurt, don't you take her stupid words to heart. Don't you fucking dare or I swear I will disown you as a friend and telepathically kick your ass if you-_

"Yeah, um sure," Kurt mumbles with a hurt expression on his face as he interrupts Sebastian's inner monologue. "I'll come practice. Wait, how did you even know I was here?"

"You're always here as of recent." Blaine snaps. "But it really isn't a big deal. It actually limits the places we have to look if we're trying to find you and your phone is off."

Kurt shrugs and makes a move to grab his bag once he stands, but is pulled down by Sebastian taking his hand and pulling him back onto the chair gently, but firmly.

"No Kurt, sit your ass back down, we were busy." Sebastian glares at Rachel and Blaine, giving Kurt an _'I know what I'm doing so just play along with me'_ look after Kurt gives him a _'what the hell are you doing? You're mental'_ expression.

"Please try not to injure my boyfriend, Sebastian. And that was completely unnecessary. Kurt's coming with us, so just please let him go." Blaine smirks. "He wants to spend time with his boyfriend."

"Ah, not because he feels obligated to practice for an audition that's months away, right? Well then, as much as I'm sure he'd absolutely _love_ to come with you," Sebastian quips, words filled with sarcasm and mock. "Kurt, Alicia and I are going to be planning our Christmas break."

Kurt covers his eyes and sighs dramatically and Alicia looks at Sebastian with a raised eyebrow as Blaine practically growls the next sentence. "What Christmas break? What are you talking about?"

"We're going to Amsterdam; courtesy of my sister. And it's sort of Alicia's birthday present coming a few weeks early," Sebastian chuckles giving the blushing girl a small smile, "So we're all going."

"Please tell me he's not telling the truth, Kurt?" Blaine looks at Kurt with puppy-eyes.

"He's not lying. Why would I?" Sebastian shrugs.

"Talking about yourself in third person is absolutely ridiculous, Warbler Sebastian."

"Shut up, idiot Rachel. I wasn't talking to you."

Rachel glowers at the Sebastian and throws her arms over her chest in defeat. "Blaine, can we go now?"

"Please wait Rachel," Blaine sighs. "Kurt, what does he mean that you're planning your vacation together?"

"What I meant, though I now realize I should've explained properly-"

"Oh my god, Sebastian let me talk please?" Kurt lets out with irritation. "Blaine, it's not as weird as it sounds. Alicia's birthday is in a few weeks and Sebastian's sister wanted Sebastian to come visit her, so we combined it all into one and we're going to go visit her."

"Oh," Blaine mutters. "Where does she live?"

"I don't actually know." Sebastian chuckles.

"Are you being serious?" Alicia mumbles. "Oh, and thanks for the surprise." She leans over and kisses Sebastian on the cheek. "And you know I told you not to get me anything, but thank you anyways."

"You're my favorite hag." Sebastian chuckles. He then looks at Blaine, answering his question. "My sister lives wherever she'd like to live, but in this instance, we're going to be in Amsterdam."

Blaine's eyes widen. "Amsterdam?"

"Amsterdam." Sebastian confirms.

"Okay," he says cautiously. "Why are you going to Amsterdam with Sebastian, Kurt? I though him and Alicia were friends?"

"Oh, we are. But we wouldn't all be friends if it weren't for these two," Alicia smiles. "I'm glad I came up to you guys that day. That was definitely the beginning of a beautiful and rather inappropriate friendship." She laughs.

"This is getting really weird." Blaine says. "We'll talk about this later okay? Enjoy your time with your… friends." he nods in Kurt's direction. "Bye Kurt. I love you."

Kurt's heart leaps at the words, but not the same gooey feeling he usually gets. He internally wills himself to ignore it. "Bye Blaine, I love you too."

As Blaine and Rachel walk away, Kurt lets out a huff of air, Alicia follows their retreating figures and Sebastian runs a hand though his hair.

"Well that was awkward." Alicia squeaks. "Very, very awkward."

"I know right? I don't know how Hummel stands that every single day."

"Maybe it isn't as weird when they're alone. I don't really think you lying to Blaine that we're going to Amsterdam just to spite him made them warm up to you."

"It had better not be, or else, as much as I hate to say it… okay I have no objections to saying it, but that relationship is so dead." Sebastian provides. "Oh my god, wait, you thought I was lying?"

"Weren't you?" Alicia asks incredulously.

"No. I wasn't. But apparently you're a fucking good actress."

Alicia preens at the comment. "Wait a minute. We're going to Amsterdam?"

"The three of us are."

"Are you joking?"

"Yes," Sebastian deadpans. "This is all a practical joke."

"Sebastian!" Alicia squeals before flinging herself out of her chair and hugging the Warbler. "You shouldn't have!" The angle is odd because he's sitting down, but she's managed to seat herself on his lap and his head is nested in the crook of her neck as he chuckles lightly as she gives his face a stream of kisses.

When Alicia goes back to her chair, both Sebastian and Alicia notice the small smiles they all receive. Then they share a look because _these people think that they're a couple_ and laugh.

"If only they knew," she laughs.

"If only." Sebastian agrees.

The two friends are knocked out of their train of thought when Kurt finally speaks.

"I'm in so much shit. Blaine is going to be so pissed off with me and he's going to dump me."

"Kurt, he doesn't contradict what you can and cannot do with your life. If you want to go to Amsterdam with me and Alicia, you can." Sebastian's expression is humbling. "If you choose not to go for your own reasons, well, that's okay too. Actually, it wouldn't be okay, because I can't go without my favourite idiot. But it should be completely your choice and your choice alone."

"I know Sebastian, I'm just afraid of upsetting Blaine. That boy knows how to hold a grudge." Kurt sighs. "And of course I want to come. I wouldn't give it up for a thing. And besides, it's Alicia's present now."

"Surprise?" Sebastian squeals in a girly manner. "Happy almost your birthday!"

"Yay?" the two end up laughing and Kurt can't help but think that he really loves this effortless encounter with his two friends. No pain, no awkwardness, just fun, and he just loves this.

"So, Sectionals tomorrow, boys." Alicia says. Both boys look at each other and give small smiles.

"We're gonna kick show choir ass." Sebastian says.

"You'd both better be at mine."

"We wouldn't miss it for the world, princess." Sebastian gives Kurt once of those stupidly bright and stupidly beautiful (What, no, cocky. What is this?) smiles and winks. Totally not making the butterflies, or more like agitated bees, in his stomach buzz around.

_This isn't good at all._

* * *

Just in case I didn't make it painstakingly obvious, the italics bit in the middle is a flashback.

I edited this after I posted it. i wasn't really happy with the grammar and the way things conjoined. I don't really have a beta reader so i'm trying my hardest to get this as stellar and flawless as possible for you, but alas, there's only so much I can do, so I apologize beforehand for any errors I will make in the future. Because I'm going to make a lot. I know this for a fact. Sigh.

Reviews are love. X


	6. Chapter 6

I'm so sorry. I really am, I don't even know what to say for myself because the only legit reason I have is that I was traveling, Christmas and New year's happened, then writer's block blah blah. Your reviews have made me write though. Whether it be 50 words or 500, you'be been helping me and I really want to thank you. So I'll just the fuck up now.

Disclaimer : I don't own glee, only this particular story line. If I did, imagine what your ships would look like.

* * *

**Chapter 6**

* * *

**From Blaine** (16:48): _Hey, I'm staying over at Rachel's tonight. Can we rain-check for our date?_

Kurt reads the message over five times; at the very least. He supposes he shouldn't feel bad because Blaine did give him an hour and a half's notice, and he has hung out with Sebastian, as well as blatantly lying when Blaine asked him about it. So he understands that his boyfriend needs to think. _Oh my god, Amsterdam. _So Kurt is basically screwed. He feels like a horrible boyfriend now and he can't help but cringe and his behavior lately.

**From Kurt** (16:54): _It's okay, don't worry. I have to get some beauty rest for tomorrow in any case. Have fun with Rachel x_

**From Blaine **(16:56): _Ah, don't spend the night at home. I'd feel bad for bailing on you. Call Sebastian or something._

Kurt sighs audibly as he flips over on his bed. He feels so guilty. But he won't let that eat him up because he'll be ultra bitchy tomorrow if he doesn't get sleep due to mulling over his thoughts for unnecessarily long periods of time.

**From Kurt** (16:57): _I need to talk to you about today. I didn't intend for you find out about Amsterdam like that. Tomorrow after Sectionals?_

Kurt waits in anticipation.

**From Blaine** (16:57): _Whatever Kurt. I'll see you tomorrow._

Something pulls in his heart. He hadn't intended to make Blaine upset. He was just finding a friend, comfort of sorts, in Alicia and Sebastian. But especially Sebastian because he had been _there_. Blaine and Kurt had left that event behind them as of recent and were attempting to move forward, but sometimes Blaine was just too aggressive for his liking. Or he was constantly trying to push Kurt further than he was willing to go. And that pissed off the countertenor a lot. But he still understands where Blaine is coming from and he has no room to be upset. None at all.

Kurt decides to indulge in eating some low-fat ice-cream and watching Greys Anatomy for the evening. He descends down the stairs with a spring in his step. He will not let anything upset him today. It'll be a good night. As he arrives down stairs, not looking where he's going, he runs straight into a body, lacking a shirt. Ah, Sam. _Wait, shit, it's Sam. Play it cool. Why isn't he wearing a shirt?_

"Oh hey Kurt, what are you doing here?" Sam smiles, completely oblivious to Kurt's inner monologue.

"Oh me?" Kurt chuckles. "I just um, I came downstairs to watch some television, but if you're busy then it's okay. I'll go occupy myself."

Sam looks at Kurt with wide eyes. "No, this is your house dude. You can totally watch whatever you want. I was going to ask Finn if he wanted to play Call of Duty with me." Sam smiles, "I'll just make sure to stay out of your way."

"Sam, this is your house too, you know," Kurt says with exasperation. "Oh, and Finn is at Puck's house. But if you want to, you could um, come watch Greys with me?" Kurt adds quickly, "But only if you want to."

Sam's smile is one that could give electricity to the whole of Ohio. "Oh my god, I'd love too! Why didn't you tell me you were watching Greys?"

"I didn't assume you liked it." Kurt chuckles as he walks towards the kitchen to make some popcorn for the two of them.

"Kurt, everybody likes Greys Anatomy." Sam deadpans, jumping onto the counter and earning a glare from the shorter boy. "Sorry," Sam mumbles, head bowed in shame.

_He's adorable. Sam is so cute_. "It's okay Sam," Kurt snorts. "Just don't jump on the furniture. Blaine used to do it all the time at Dalton, so it's been a bad habit to get him to break out of." Kurt rolls his eyes and sighs tiredly. "But it's still okay."

"Do you mind my asking you a question? You totally don't have to answer or anything like that, but I was wondering if you and Blaine are okay?"

"Oh, yeah we're okay. All couples go through an arbitrary time in their relationship. But it's okay."

Sam pouts. "Are you sure? Because if something's happened, I want you to let me know. We're friends and I know that friends totally help each other out."

Kurt smiles sadly. "We're okay. I swear."

Sam walks and stands in front of where Kurt is standing. He looks at the latter hesitantly before pulling Kurt in for a hug. In the beginning, Kurt tenses up, but soon gets past that and flings his arms loosely around Sam's waist.

"I'm always going to be here for you." Sam says with his cheek pressed tight against Kurt's hair.

"Thank you," Kurt whispers because if he spoke any louder, he'd start crying. The compassion that Sam carries around is enough for an army.

"Come on," Kurt says pulling back from the hug. "Let's go watch some Greys."

"By 'Greys' you mean 'McDreamy' don't you?"

"The fact that you know who McDreamy is, Sam." Kurt smirks at a blushing Sam.

"Hey," Sam snorts. "I went to a boy's school. I've learned to appreciate beauty in all its forms."

Sam winks and walks towards the lounge, popcorn in hands, leaving Kurt speechless again. Sam is so full of surprises and honestly, Kurt wouldn't change a thing about his friend.

At 3am, whilst watching most of season 6 of Greys Anatomy, Sam turns to Kurt from where his head is rested on the latter's shoulder having long-lost the space that was between them on the couch at roughly 11pm.

"I'm sorry about starting that fight with Blaine this week. It's just that," he sits up, "I just want the New Directions to win Sectionals and those prep school moves he had aren't going to do that. But then he was slut shaming me and I felt bad because I was just trying to help my family." He smiles sadly. "Do you know what I mean?" Kurt nods in contemplation. "Anyway, I was a bit sensitive about that, so I didn't _mean_ to start the fight. It just happened and he freaked out."

Kurt smiles at Sam who is in turn looking at him with puppy eyes, waiting for rejection. "It's okay. I'm sorry he was slut shaming. He just, he's very used to being on top of everything and being in charge and what not, so it's just a bit different." Kurt squeezes Sam's shoulder. "But it's okay. I know you didn't mean it."

Sam lets out a long huff of air before slumping down back onto Kurt's shoulder. "Thank god you forgive me. I don't know what I would have done if you didn't."

"I'm not petty Sam." Kurt chuckles. "Besides, you don't really need my forgiveness. I was never angry at you for it except for the fact that I had to face the wrath of angry Blaine." Kurt shrugs, non-committal, before cringing.

"What do you mean?" Sam pauses the show. "Did he hurt you?"

Kurt pales. "No, oh my god he wouldn't ever hit me or hurt me or anything like that,"_ lies _"He's just got a bad temper, so you always have to be careful with how you approach him."

"And what happens if you approach him 'wrong'?"

"Well I haven't ever, but I highly doubt he would do anything. He's completely harmless." _More lies._

"Keep yourself safe Kurt. You're like my best friend."

_His best friend?_ "What?"

"Well yeah, you were the first person that welcomed me into the school when I came here, you helped me when we were struggling, and you came to bring me back home when I had lost my way. You're my best friend Kurt," Sam smiles. "And now I don't want you to feel awkward because I said this, okay?"

"Okay." Kurt smiles.

"Good. Now come here," Sam holds open his arms, inviting Kurt to rest on him. Kurt stifles a yawn and continues to watch Greys Anatomy with Sam. And even when George dies, he doesn't cry as hard. Sam holds him and they cry together because it's a _fucking slumber party of two admits now._

The boys wake up at 6:30am to Kurt's phone obnoxiously blaring 'Fashion of his love' by Lady Gaga.

"Kurt, turn your shit off." Sam mumbles into the back of Kurt's head.

"I would if you'd let go of my waist." Kurt grumbles, managing to free himself from Sam's death grip around himself from where they fell asleep on the couch due to the previous night's emotional roller coaster that is Greys Anatomy, but most definitely not without a whine of protest from Sam.

Kurt can't help but smile. Nothing is awkward in the morning between the two. He's always wanted a guy friend he could be completely and utterly relaxed with – without having to worry about over-stepping boundaries or making them awkward. He thinks he might get that with Sam.

"Why is your alarm so early?" Sam looks up wearily from where his head was once under a pillow. "What could possibly be happening on a Saturday morning that needs us to wake up right as we fell asleep?"

Kurt fidgets with his cell phone and when he looks at the date, he starts laughing. "Oh my god," he manages to choke out though his laughs. "I promised myself I'd rest last night, and I got an hour-long sleep. It's Sectionals today, Sam. Sectionals."

Sam stares wide –eyed at Kurt and he begins to chuckle. "Rachel's gonna kill us."

* * *

"Come on ladies, time for waking-up now." Sebastian declares as he strides into Jeff's room when he comes out of the shower, clad in a towel low strung on his hips.

"Sebastian-"Nick starts.

"Fuck off," Jeff finishes.

"Aw babies." Sebastian coos. "You're already finishing each other's sentences."

"What time is it?" Nick groans, rolling away from where his legs are tangled with Jeff's with a blush rising high up on his cheeks just like always whenever he wakes up to find he transformed himself into the human koala bear.

"7:30 am. Do you know what this means?"

"Do tell what is so fucking important that I couldn't get my rest considering we have Sectionals today at 3pm. Please," Jeff growls. "Amuse me."

"Nude Erections', Sectionals." Sebastian shrugs in disinterest. "And you're coming with me to watch because I will catch the public school disease if I go on my own."

"Public school di- wow, okay I'm just going to go shower now," Nick laughs. "Then we'll go watch your Nude Erection friends."

Jeff snickers earning a raised eyebrow from Sebastian, but shrugging him off with a flick of his hand before face-plating into his pillow.

"You know, I get that we do this at school or whatever, but it just does not fucking make sense that we're in an eight-roomed house and we still sleep in the same bed," Sebastian says, puzzled. "I don't even like sharing with you two." He looks at Jeff pointedly, "You cuddle too much. And you," he points to Nick, "steal all my fucking blankets. Like _no_, bro, that's not okay, I don't need my penis-"

"Words I never thought I'd hear you utter," Jeff chuckles.

Sebastian glares. "- to fall off due to hypothermia."

"But if we stopped sharing, you'd complain, so I'd suggest you keep quiet before all this thinking hurts your pretty little head." Nick quips.

"I'm disgusted at your accusations that I can't sleep in a bed on my own."

"When we're not there, there's a random. And though it's a bit unnerving that we sleep in the same bed as your randoms, there's nothing quite like body heat." Jeff provides.

"Oh my god, I never sleep alone."

Nick shrugs. "Precisely. Now, I'm going to go shower."

"Okay wait, I'm trying to figure out if I should be insulted because you attempted to indirectly call me stupid, or if I should preen because you finally admitted I'm pretty."

Jeff rolled his eyes in amusement. "I think a bit of both."

"Great," Nick says cheerily. "Now I really have to go shower before I decide I don't want to watch The New Directions perform with Seb."

With that, Nick walks out the room, but not without Jeff staring very unceremoniously at his ass.

"You're such an idiot."

Jeff shrugs. "I am not."

"Ask him out already," Sebastian huffs in frustration.

"I will." Jeff smiles, "I'm just waiting for the right time."

"Yeah well," Sebastian sighs, "Liam's right time is coming soon enough."

Liam is a year older than the boys. He's captain of the soccer team and the football team, but he has also expressed interest in Nick as of recent, what with getting him flowers to wish him luck for Sectionals, much to Jeff's dismay, and openly flirting with the boy. Jeff is irritated, but he has no right to be upset because he just won't grow a pair and ask Nick out so the ball is in his court.

"Yeah well, I'll figure something out." Jeff sighs. "I really hope I figure something out."

"Jeff," Sebastian starts as he goes to kneel in front of the blonde boy who is sitting on the bed and pulling his face to Sebastian's own level. "You are fantastic. Yes, you're a bit blunt sometimes and you can be a smidgen stupid and unknowing, and god don't even get me started on-,"

"This is a horrible pep talk." Jeff whines as he half-heartedly glares at Sebastian.

"Sorry," Sebastian has the decency to look guilty before he starts again. "Okay, even though you have your flaws, just like everyone else, you and Nick are best friends. You have been since you were children, but you also have enough sexual tension to start a sex riot all the way in Thailand," Jeff chuckles, "So do me a favour and ask your boy out because I know that as much as you want it, he wants it too."

"What if Liam beats me to it and Nick says yes? What if I'm too late and he's tired of waiting for me?" Jeff sighs as the rests his forehead against Sebastian's. "I just don't wanna mess this up because I like him so much and I value his friendship. You know?" Jeff chuckles. "I sound like a girl."

Sebastian places a chaste kiss to Jeff's nose. "Yes you do, and yet I still tolerate you, which should tell you something."

"What would I do without you?" Jeff asks as he throws himself unceremoniously on the bed and borrows under the millions of pillows.

"You'd die a horrible death of blue balls and sexual frustration." Sebastian declares as-a-matter-of-factly. He stands and ruffles Jeff's hair, making his way to his overnight bag quickly taking out his clothes and getting dressed.

Jeff snorts. " Lovely."

* * *

Kurt is in the midst of his skin regime when his phone buzzes with a text from Blaine. He doesn't know what it will be, but considering that Blaine is angry at him, he highly doubts it's a 'good morning' message his phone used to frequent back before everything started. He takes a deep sigh and opens the text message, frowning as he reads each sentence.

**From Blaine** (8:43): _I'm sorry about yesterday. I was just a bit upset, but you have to understand where I was coming from. You lied to me about being friends with Sebastian, but then failed to tell me that you were going to fucking Amsterdam with him. But like I said, I'll get over it. Just, please can we talk about it? I feel completely uncomfortable with you going with him and I feel compelled to tell you that it won't be the best thing for our relationship._

Kurt does not like the fact that he feels like Blaine is making ultimatums for him. He puts his phone down and quickly finishes his regime, cutting it short by fifteen minutes, before answering the text message.

**From Kurt (**8:51): _I don't exactly understand what you're trying to say because on one hand I'm getting that you're okay and that you'll get over it – also that you'll forgive me, but on the other hand all I'm getting is that you want to control who I can and cannot see. I don't see how that's fair – especially considering you're basically insinuating that you're going to break-up with me._

Kurt understands that in his reply, he was being a bit of a hypocrite because he asked Blaine not to hang out with Sebastian when they first met, but the thing is that Sebastian doesn't want Kurt sexually like he did with Blaine. He doesn't, which doesn't particularly contradict him being a hypocrite about it, but it merely means that all Kurt's wants from Sebastian is friendship. Nothing more will ever happen between the two and he just wished Blaine would understand that fact.

**From Blaine** (8:59): _This is for our sake, but I don't think we can survive you going away with another guy. I think that if you care you'll completely reconsider this. Just, think about it okay? I'll see you in an hour. We can forget about the whole thing until later so our friends don't think something's wrong. Not that there is, but you know what I'm trying to say. I'm very disappointed in you, Kurt, but I still love you._

I still love you. Kurt finds it amusing how that could be a reason for Blaine not to love him, the fact that he's going to Amsterdam with Sebastian and _Alicia._ It completely amuse him that there's such a level of distrust between the two. But it's been like this for a few weeks so he shouldn't be surprised.

**From Kurt** (9:04): _Oh, you still love me? That's reassuring. If we have to act like there's nothing wrong, then there must be a problem. I don't get why you're trying to keep everything swept under the rug and under wraps. Yes, I get keeping it from our friends because this is our problem, yes I say problem because that's exactly what this is, but come on, you're blowing things out of proportion._

**From Blaine** (9:07): _You're blowing this out of proportion. I'll talk to you after Sectionals when you come to my house. This is just getting immature and stupid. I love you, see you soon. X_

* * *

Blaine takes a long exhale. He wishes that Kurt would just understand how much he hurt him. How much he's hurting him, really. Last night when they were supposed to go out, he asked comfort in Rachel. He just didn't understand why everything that was happening to him and his boyfriend was happening. Yes, things had been rough, but not to the point where Blaine thought Kurt would think it would be okay to keep something as important as going to Amsterdam with another boy from Blaine.

Not just another boy. Sebastian Smythe is that other boy. Blaine remembers all too well what happened that night at Scandals, but thankfully avoided having that conversation with Kurt. He hadn't intended to be rough with Kurt, it's just that Kurt was being _such_ a tease and Blaine wanted what Kurt was giving out half way. He would never hurt Kurt intentionally, which is something that Sebastian obviously didn't understand when he butted in.

The whole thing is between Kurt and Blaine. Yes, Blaine would have probably done something – but it wouldn't have been drastic and if Sebastian had just stayed away, he and Kurt would be okay and not walking on egg shells, and he and Sebastian would be okay to be friends as well.

The thing is that he has nothing against Sebastian - it's just that when he was flinging all this attention at Kurt, it worried him. Kurt would go over himself and think that he was better than Blaine and he would break-up with him. Blaine didn't want Kurt to know what being alone was like after you'd experienced real love, so really, this was all for Kurt. All of it made sense and he would stick to his decision, hoping that Kurt would too.

"_I completely_ agree with you Blaine, he should have told you about Amsterdam."

"You don't think I'm being unreasonable or anything like that, do you?" Blaine sighed.

"No Blaine, he should feel so bad." Rachel provides. "It was inconsiderate of him towards your feelings to plan this without your consent."

"You really think so?" Blaine asks hopefully.

Rachel squeezes his arm reassuringly. "Of course I am." She stands to walk towards her closet. "Now, as much as I'd like to continue our girl talk from last night, I must choose an outfit."

"Rach," Blaine says skeptically. "You're already wearing your outfit."

"No. This is the first outfit I wear in the day. I only ever go for the second outfit. So technically, this is my starter."

"Ah, because that makes all the sense in the world, right?" Blaine fights a grin, but is unsuccessful as Rachel throws a slipper at him, joining him in his laughter.

"What would I do without you, Blaine?" Rachel chuckles.

"You'd wear two outfits a day without any additional comments from people." Blaine sticks his tongue out at Rachel and kisses her forehead. "But you don't have to imagine what it'd be like without me."

"And you don't even know how happy I am about that." Rachel sighs.

* * *

When the New Directions gather in the choir room, it's full of tension radiating from Sam, Blaine, Kurt, and Rachel-who isn't even performing.

"Rachel, wouldn't you rather go sit down now so that when we go on, you're surprised?" Blaine asks tentatively, breaking the awkward silence that had dawned upon the choir room. "We're just doing warm-ups now."

Rachel sighs dramatically and cups Blaine's cheek in her palm. "You, Blaine Warbler, are the sweetest, but I'm here by choice."

"The hobbit isn't a Warbler anymore." Puck chirps from where he is seated near the piano.

"It was figurative Puck." Rachel tisks. "Break a leg guys, you can do it. The Troubletones were good, but I know that you'll be better merely because you've got me on your side and that I believe in you." Rachel gives a small bow and blows Finn an imaginary kiss before she walks out of the choir room.

"The first Regionals competition without Rachel," Kurt voices quietly.

"It's odd, isn't it?" Sam whispers back.

Kurt snorts indignantly. "And she's still managed to somehow make it about her."

Everyone in the choir room looks at Kurt and then there's laughter heard in every corner of the room, breaking the tension that was once there. Kurt knows it will be weird, but he has faith in their abilities to pull their shit together when it's competition, and he'll be damned if the Troubletones win.

He doesn't think that they were bad and he doesn't have bitter feelings towards them, he can't because San and Brit are rooting for him as much as he is for them, but he has a feeling about the New Direction's set list. It also doesn't suck that Alicia greeted him enthusiastically when she came, talking about how she remembers when she was in school-about how she couldn't sing to save her own life.

"If you're friends with Kurt, how come you can't sing?" Tina asks quizzically.

"Because she's really awesome and I love her, talented musically or not," Kurt answers automatically before turning to Alicia, "You should get going, but I want to introduce you to everyone before you go."

Alicia gives Kurt a small, shy smile and nods fervently.

Kurt starts introductions and the students in the room proceed to greet her. Everyone from Puck to Mike get a greeting in, bar Finn because she lived with him and he's already acquainted with her, and of course Blaine when it gets to him. Everyone has also noticed that Kurt referred to Alicia as his best friend, but no one comments on that.

"If you were a burger at McDonald's, you'd be the McGorgeous," Sam declares indignantly.

"Oh my god," Kurt giggles.

Alicia gets over her initial state of shock and smiles at Sam. "As adorable and endearing as that was, I'm very lesbian Sam."

"You're still super hot. I can only imagine what it's like for you and Kurt when you go out together and stuff."

"You think Kurt is hot." Alicia smirks.

"Everyone thinks Kurt is hot. Look at him," Sam shrugs and looks at the death glare Blaine I giving him, though subtle, it's there. "I'm not going to make any more comments though."

Alicia chuckles and wishes everyone well, kissing Kurt on the cheek, before she leaves the room to get a seat. Kurt is a bit upset Sebastian didn't come say hi, but he figures it's okay, as long as he's there. God, Kurt hopes Sebastian's there.

"Okay guys, are you ready for this?" Finn asks as everyone gives cat-calls and pats each other on the shoulder. They form a circle and do last minute vocal runs before making their way to the stage.

"Let's win this thing!" Sam shouts as they make their way towards backstage.

They catch the back end of the Unitards performance, and smile at each other reassuringly as the music starts.

* * *

Sebastian cringes every time he gets a whiff of something unidentifiable_. Public school_, he thinks distastefully.

Jeff laughs. "I can see the disgust imprinted on your face."

"This is gross. I really don't know how princess fancy pants can come here." Sebastian sees the sign for the auditorium as they walk through the school and pulls his friends with him the right direction. "This is seriously putting me off hanging out with him if this is what he surrounds himself with."

"You'd never stop hanging out with him."

Sebastian glares at Nick. "I could do it."

"Bitch, please."

Sebastian snorts. "You have such a vulgar tongue, Nicholas Duval, you should be ashamed of yourself."

"I'm in public school for the day," Nick declares. "I'm a ghetto now."

"You're the least ghetto person I've ever met in my life Nick, keep quiet." Jeff chuckles, giving Nick a pat on the back.

The boys arrive in the auditorium as _Buenos Aires_ finishes being performed and take their seat, surprisingly in the middle of the auditorium where they can see the stage perfectly. As Sebastian makes a move to sit down, he hears a loud whisper of his name. He turns around searching for the source, and when he looks to the other aisle he sees Alicia glaring at him.

"You're late."

"Did you drive from Westerville? No you didn't. And they haven't even sung yet, so keep your panties on."

"You're such an ass."

"Shut up and watch now." Sebastian smirks. Alicia shakes her head and gives him a small smile from where she's seated.

_If you gave just a coin for every time we said goodbye_

_Well I'd be reach beyond my dreams, I'm sorry for my weary life_

This girl, the pretty blonde with the short hair, had a very pretty voice. Sebastian doesn't think she'll be able to pull of this song on her own, but so far the song is good. Sometimes there is an advantage to having girls in your show choir, but Sebastian will never give the Warblers up for anything. Nick and Jeff are extremely mesmerized by her voice, but as she climbs up to the chorus, she's joined on stage by an Asian girl and Kurt. The Asian girl opens her mouth to sing along with the blonde. Sebastian decides she also has a pretty voice and their harmonies are marvelous. He wanders offhandedly if Kurt is going to sing anytime soon, but that's a fleeting thought that he doesn't really register. Sebastian likes this song a lot and he's glad they haven't ruined the song for him. Dido is fantastic, but it takes a certain voice to pull her off and that is not Sebastian's.

_I'm no angel, but please don't think that I won't try and try_

Sebastian is completely aware that Kurt is on stage, that is usually a huge neon sign for 'I'm about to sing' but it doesn't click until Kurt opens his mouth and a sharp, attention grabbing, world stopping, clear as class sound comes out of Kurt's mouth and he melts on the floor.

_I'm no angel, but please don't think that I can't cry_

_I'm no angel, but does that mean that I won't fly_

When Kurt sings the high note in 'cry' Sebastian quite literally stops breathing and holds a hand to his heart, trying for the life of him to get his erratic heartbeat in check. Kurt's voice is angelic and beautiful, and he's pretty sure that if heaven has a sound, it's Kurt voice.

He continues to listen to Kurt and the girls sing, completely unaware of Alicia, Nick and Jeff's stares at him as the song progresses. Sebastian can't believe Kurt's hidden his voice from him. The asshole.

After they finish singing, the rest of the group come up on stage but Sebastian doesn't pay attention to anyone but Kurt. The boy is fascinating, he decides. He looks so happy and at ease on stage, and if that doesn't make Sebastian's heart jump then he doesn't know what. He ponders on the thought that he would have denied his feelings for Kurt, but he surprisingly didn't.

He was completely open (_no porn jokes, Bas_) to the possibility that he might be crushing on Kurt, and that was weeks ago. He has now got a full-fledged creepy type of crush on Hummel and he doesn't mind because it hasn't progressed to anything more than infatuation and sexual frustration. He's afraid that if it does, he'll get broken again, and he really doesn't want that, so for now he'll take the crush as it comes.

The New Direction finish their set list and all the choirs appear on stage as they announce who places where and who's proceeding to Regionals. Of course the New Directions make it to Regionals, which Sebastian bets is just because of Kurt, but after they're finished announcements, he makes his way back stage with Alicia and the boys to congratulate the New Directions.

* * *

The New Direction get off the stage with much happiness and exhilaration because they're going to Regionals. They have this year, most of their senior year, to make up for last year and come first for the single time in their lives and that keeps them up and about.

Kurt goes in for a hug with Blaine, until he spots Sebastian coming in his direction. He makes quick work of hugging Blaine and kisses his boyfriend on the cheek, making his way to Sebastian and his other friends.

"Jeff, Nick, you came." Kurt smiles.

"Of course we did." Nick confirms. "We wanted to see you kick ass, and let me tell you this; your voice is stunning."

Kurt blushes a brilliant shade of red and looks downwards. "Thank you."

"Hey now, there is no need to get shy," Jeff lifts Kurt's chin up with a finger. "You were fantastic, you deserve the win. Own it." He gives a wink in Sebastian's direction, who's currently standing with his hands in his pockets, looking semi-proud, semi-confused.

"Well done, Kurt." Nick smiles. "We're gonna go congratulate Blainey boy. His duet with that Asian girl was adorable. It was like Asian fury one-oh-one seeing as his mom's Asian." Nick chuckles as he grabs Jeff's hand, not noticing the way the blonde boy blushes, and they make their way towards Blaine who is now standing with Puck.

"So," Kurt starts.

"So." Sebastian sticks his tongue out at Kurt.

"Ugh, just fuck already." Alicia groans as she links her hands between their arms and stalks off towards the exit. Just like that, the tension and need to express all these emotions to each other dissipate from Kurt and Sebastian's heads and they let themselves get pulled away by her, but not before Kurt calls over his shoulder that he's getting dragged away by his crazy friend, and Sebastian throws his car keys to Nick, telling him that they'll meet up at Regionals.

This is simple. This is easy. Kurt will never give up this friendship with his best friends for anything, but he just wishes there was a little something more with Sebastian. He feels like there's something missing, but he can't pinpoint what, but he knows that the moment he figures it out, he's going to try his damned well hardest to make sure things work out for the better for them.

The boys and Alicia spend the rest of the morning in a diner on the outskirts of Ohio, chuckling and recalling stories from when they started becoming friends. Maybe Kurt and Sebastian sneak glances at each other when the other isn't looking, maybe they don't. At two pm promptly, they rush out of the diner, in fears that they won't make it to Dalton soon enough. Surprisingly, they make it to Dalton is record time and Sebastian quickly goes backstage to meet up with the other Warblers as Alicia and Kurt find seats. Ten minutes into their wait, music starts up. Kurt wonders who'll sing the song, if they'll do it justice. Sebastian steps forward and opens his mouth. Kurt's eyes begin to tear because of the raw emotion in the song.

_I was a heavy heart to carry, my beloved was weighed down_

_My arms around his neck, my fingers laced to crown_

This time, when the Warblers are on stage singing their lungs out it's Kurt's turn to admire Sebastian's voice. To admire the boy himself, if he's being honest. Kurt's knows what's missing now, but he knows it'll never happen. So he sits, he sits and he listens to the boy belt out the lyrics to Florence and the Machine, completely unknowing of the feelings Kurt is finally, _finally_, discovering he has for his friend. It's a pity nothing can ever happen between the two, and he's sure Alicia's psychic because as the thoughts travel through his head, she squeezes his knee reassuringly.

_I'm so heavy, heavy in your arms_

_I'm so heavy, heavy in your arms_

Kurt briefly wonders what Sebastian is singing about. I'm no angel was a makeshift 'screw you' to the world who thought he couldn't do what he wanted, but this song is full of turmoil and sadness. For a brief moment, Kurt thinks he sees a tear run down Sebastian's face, but rights that off because even if it was a tear, Sebastian is just, he's just so _beautiful._

_Who is the betrayer? Who's the killer in the crowd?_

_The one who creeps in corridors and doesn't wake a sound_

Sebastian glances at Kurt and smiles, non-committal, as nears the end of the song. He wants to make sure Kurt is listening to the song, listening to the song, making sure that Kurt is still there for him, ready to help him if he needs a friend. Kurt smiles in a way that confirms all of Sebastian's worries. Sebastian can't help but burst at the seams with happiness. He might not get to have Kurt the way he wants, but he's got him as a friend, and yes, Sebastian thinks it's time to tell Kurt what happened between him and Maxine.

_This will be my last confession, I love you never felt like any blessing_

The boys finish their set list off with Clocks by Coldplay and come first for their Sectionals. New directions versus The Warblers for Regionals. Kurt congratulates Sebastian as does Alicia and there's a lot of smiling that goes on between the three. Almost as if they're sharing their own personal little secret.

Once again, Kurt can't help think about how this is exactly how it should be. His boyfriend and his best friend. _Shit. Well then._

* * *

I switched the TroubleTones performance and The Unitards so that they could work with the story, and the songs I used were I'm No Angel by Dido (If you haven't heard it, have a listen) and Heavy in your arms by Florence + the Machine. I really, honestly don't know when I'll get the next chapter out, but I'm going to try my damned well hardest to get it to you soon. Thank you for the support. Please continue to review. :) I'm sorry for spelling/grammar errors. If you see any, please let me know so I can correct them?

Tumblr : takemetoyoursecretparadise


	7. Chapter 7

I got this out in just under a month. I feel like I'm on fire. This is going to be a monthly update type of fic because the chapters are long-ish. I'm am going to be going back and reediting my other chapters though.

Come visit me on tumblr and let's fangirl about Chris and Will; takemetoyoursecretparadise

You're not going to like me very much after this chapter, but I swear I'm not going to be fucking with you. This is the real deal. I do not take the issue that will be addressed in the next few chapters lightly and I will try and deal with the situation accordingly. I'm sorry if I offend anyone with it and if I'm writing the scene wrong, please do tell me so I can fix it. I am not out to make Blaine a horrible criminal, I swear. I've got a plan, just trust me.

P.S Go and read Bewitched, Bothered, Bewildered by admiller. Just GO.

Long as fuck Author Note. I'm sorry.

* * *

**Chapter 7**

* * *

**To Kurt** (19:17): _You need toc o em ober. Not ferlinh good._

**To Blaine** (19:18): _Oh wow. Are you drunk?_

**To Kurt** (19:20): _I obly dranaku a liitrdl bti._

**To Blaine** (19:21): _I'm coming. Just stop, please? I can feel your IQ decreasing. I'll be there in an hour and a half._

Kurt looks over his chat history with Blaine once more and sighs. Who even gets drunk at this time of evening?

"Something wrong, princess?" Sebastian calls from where he's seated on the kitchen counter in the Hummel-Hudson's house.

Things were strange this past weekend with Blaine and Kurt, but they were even stranger with the latter and Sebastian. All of sudden, when Sebastian insulted him, there would be a compliment hidden in that same insult and it was as if Sebastian didn't even notice he was doing it. There was subtlety too, when they were walking, Sebastian would rest a hand on the small of Kurt's back. It was unnerving because Kurt really did feel bad for liking Sebastian at the same time as he was dating Blaine. Though at the same time, it felt good because he liked Sebastian. He was getting what he wanted with Blaine from Sebastian and that in itself was a mind-fuck.

Kurt sighs and shrugs in Sebastian's direction. "I have to go take care of my boyfriend, so you need to go home now."

"Aw," Sebastian pouts. "Carole will be very upset you're kicking me out."

That was another odd thing. On Wednesday evening Sebastian decided to drop by at the Hummel-Hudson's for dinner, introducing himself to Carole, Burt, and even Finn who was completely oblivious of his status as a Warbler. Finn had even gone as far as to invite Sebastian to play video games with him and much to Kurt's dismay, he accepted, and now they were 'bros'. Kurt wasn't sure if he was glad about this or not, but he did know that Sebastian owned at Halo.

"I'm not kicking you out, moron. I have to leave." Kurt chuckles as he slips on his coat. "And get the hell off the counter. I swear it's like you've been adopted by us. Stop coming over."

"Oh no," Sebastian smirks. "If I was adopted, there would never be a chance of us fucking. Unless you're into incest, then I could roll with that."

Kurt chokes on air. There is physically nothing else he could choke on, so it's obviously air.

"Do you have to be so crude?" Kurt mock whispers, "I swear to god, when you have children, I fear for them as well as pity them."

Sebastian shrugs. "What makes you think I want children? I hate kids."

"No you don't. Kids make you affectionate, sweet, and pathetic. It's endearing at the same time hilarious," Kurt rolls his eyes at Sebastian, who's jumping off the counter and walking towards him. "Besides, I think you'll make a good parent-"

Sebastian beams, interrupting Kurt. "You will too-"

Kurt glares at Sebastian as he finishes his sentence. "Once you get over the initial conceitedness, arrogance and know-it-all smartass persona, that is."

"And you can even teach your daughter about being a princess because you've practically nailed that." Kurt throws a dish cloth at Sebastian and the latter catches it, chuckling, throwing it into the sink and walking towards Kurt.

"I think that was an insult," Kurt announces as Sebastian places a hand on the small of his back as they walk towards the door. Kurt notes this action with excitement and guilt. "but I can't be too sure."

Sebastian sticks his tongue out indignantly at Kurt and they separate, going to their own cars.

"Text me, princess," Sebastian calls as he opens the door of his Porsche Cayman 2014 model simultaneously to Kurt saluting him with a "Back at ya, asshole" as he climbs into his own Navigator.

* * *

Sebastian's so in over his head. Kurt doesn't brush him off per say, but he isn't exactly pliant under Sebastian's hold. There's always that little moment when he tenses, but other than that, he doesn't say anything, do anything to hint at whether it's alright for Sebastian to keep touching him. Sebastian just needs something to work with. He's not sure whether he likes Kurt or he wants to fuck Kurt. All he knows is that all these delicate touches are freaking him out. Sebastian Smythe doesn't do delicate.

Sebastian supposes Kurt would say if he didn't like it, but can never be too sure with Kurt Hummel. He is a rare work of art and completely hard to decipher. Kurt's like cuneiform – it has to be observed for long periods of time before you understand it. Kurt Hummel is cuneiform because if he isn't the most complicated puzzle Sebastian's ever tried to decipher, well then _merde_. For some reason, Sebastian thinks that Kurt would enjoy being compared to something so vintage and important, but he quickly dismisses the thought when he starts smiling like a whipped idiot. He turns on the radio, and at that point, the possibility of the smile disappearing off his face is a shot idea.

_But I'd like to think I can cheat it all_

_To make up for the times I've been cheated on_

Sebastian as though yes, he can cheat it all. Kurt is Blaine's, but maybe it's just temporary. So he sings at the top of his lungs as the songs switch over because he's gonna try, maybe not now, maybe not tomorrow, but he will try.

_If you're lost and alone or you're sinking like a stone, carry on_

_May your past be the sound of your feet upon the ground, and carry on_

He'll try to get Kurt, he'll try to make things okay with Maxine, he'll talk to his mother, he'll tell his father that he loves him but most of all, he will try to live as he should because all this needing to be done is a necessity for him to live with a clear head. Sebastian will try to accept all that's happened so that he can be who Kurt needs him to be. He will carry on, but not as he's been doing now. Better.

_On our darkest day, when we're miles away_

_Sun will come and we'll find our way home_

He finds it remotely funny that a few song lyrics can make him change his perspective for however long this will last, but he's willing to take it as it comes. Sebastian's invincible, right?

* * *

Kurt knocks tentatively on the door of the Anderson's manor, but when it isn't answered after half a minute, he lets himself in. The first thought, as always, is about how beautiful the house is, but his second thoughts are panicked ones because he hears something breaking in the kitchen and the curses that come afterwards.

"Blaine?" he asks cautiously as he walks steadily towards the kitchen. "Blaine, are you there?"

"Am in the-the kitchen." Blaine's words are slurred and they flow into each other. Kurt wonders how drunk his boyfriend is. _Only one way to find out, I guess._

Kurt makes his way to the kitchen and is greeted with the sight on a half-naked Blaine sitting on the counter (_what is up with these boarding school boys and counters?)_ nursing a bottle of vodka, starting at the shards of glass near the refrigerator but looking contemplative nonetheless.

"Hi Kurt," Blaine smiles shy at Kurt through his long lashes when he hears his boyfriend inquire something about what happened to the bottle, but he's not paying attention to that right now. Kurt's so pretty.

Kurt's heart melts at the cute that is flowing off Blaine in ten folds but he needs to not be a puddle of feelings dealing with Blaine. "Blaine honey, are you alright?"

Blaine pouts at Kurt. "No." he sighs and blinks up at Kurt owlishly. "But yes."

"Why aren't you okay?" Kurt feels as though he's speaking to a small child as he moves in closer to Blaine, tentatively placing a hand on his boyfriend's bicep.

Blaine pouts. "I dropped the vodka."

"Oh, I can see."

"But that's not it. It's also because you don't love me," Blaine looks at the look of protest on Kurt's face and continues. "Like you love m but you don't love me enough. You don't love me like I love you and it's really confusing because you _should_ love me more but you don't?" Blaine scrunches his eyebrows together, but quickly nods, confirming his thoughts and theories.

Kurt is thoroughly offended, but refrains from snapping because dealing with Blaine usually is a task, but a drunk version Blaine is probably hell. _It is hell, remember last time? _His mind pipes, but right now is not time for that. Dealing with drunk, stubborn, unresponsive and mildly irritated Blaine would be hell.

"Blaine, of course I love you. Why wouldn't you think I love you as much as you love me?"

Kurt steels himself for the answer, but before he can take a calming breath, Blaine is babbling. "You're always with Sebastian. Like, if it was someone else it would be okay, like maybe if it was Mercedes or Tina because Rachel's mine and Sam acts too touchy with you. But you choose Sebastian and it's like you're not choosing me because you won't stop talking to him."

"So you think I don't love you because I'm hanging out with Sebastian?"

"Yes." It uses all of Kurt's willpower to not laugh at the _better than you _expression on Blaine's face. It also uses every ounce of his strength to with hold from pointing out that Blaine did the exact same thing to him before Sebastian made it very clear that he _loathes_ the boy. Kurt rolls his eyes at Blaine's jealousy. He's jealous of Sam. Who's so heterosexual it hurts. _And really?_ 'Rachel's mine.' Is Kurt dating a five year old?

"Kurt, I'm trying to protect you from him. He's a slut," Kurt visibly blanches, but Blaine doesn't notice. "How do you know that he isn't going to try and hurt you? What if he forces himself on you? Then I can't help you. Then you'll be broken and no one's going to want you."

Kurt stares at Blaine with his mouth opened and his left eye twitching. He is seething at the words. Calling Sebastian a slut was crossing some boundary, but his insinuations are driving Kurt up the wall.

"Yes, Sebastian sleeps around, but that is not giving anyone the right to shame him about it and throw their less than nothing opinions about his life. What place do you have to tell me that he might hurt me and force himself on me? He doesn't claim to love me and then do that. _You_ did that. So don't you dare turn this around and make it seem like Sebastian's the bad guy. You don't get to do that."

"Why won't you just forget about that? God, it happened and I said I'm sorry, so just forget it! You don't get to pull this over me every time we have a fight. I seriously don't appreciate it and it really does suck."

"No you didn't." Kurt whispers in realization.

"Didn't what?"

"You didn't apologize."

"Yes, I did."

"No, you didn't." Kurt spits out. "What you told me was that if I didn't forgive you, I'd basically be an asshole. So no, that isn't an apology. I didn't appreciate that sentiment, if that's what it was trying to be."

"Kurt, I sang you a song. You just want me to make a big deal out of it, and I'm just not that person. Wasn't you staying with me, forgiving me? You're being high maintenance and it's really hard to deal with sometimes." Blaine says as-a-matter-of-factly.

"Then don't deal it. No one asked you to."

Blaine throws his arms into the air moving closer towards Kurt. "I'm sorry okay! I'm sorry that I tried to get something you wouldn't give me. I'm sorry for being a teenage boy with hormones. I'm sorry that you're so fuckable. I'm sorry that you act like an ignorant virgin when you know exactly how much I want it."

"I don't accept that apology." Blaine makes a move to speak up but Kurt holds a finger up, silencing the shorter boy. "What the hell type of apology is that? Most of that was offensive and I won't accept that. Honestly, I don't know why I'm still with you because you treat me like complete and utter shit. Please Blaine," Kurt moves forward towards Blaine, "Tell me why you insist on having these conversations while you're drunk. Pluck up the fucking courage to talk to me about stuff _when you're sober_."

"It's the only time you ever seem to listen to me!"

"Blaine," Kurt pleads. "I always listen to you because I love you. I love you so much I take your bull shit."

"If you loved me, why wouldn't you have sex with me? That was the next logical step, wasn't it? You date, become boyfriends, tell each other you love one another and then guess what? Sex Kurt, it's sex," Blaine moves towards Kurt, glaring. "I just wanted to show you how much I loved you and you wouldn't let me. That hurt me."

"You don't get to make me feel guilty about my decision for waiting. Had you told me that you were ready and actually waited, then we probably would have had sex. I'm not saying this would have happened straight away, god no, but I didn't want my first time to be some cheesy teenage stereotype."

"It's about the person, not the place Kurt. I would've made it special for you no matter where we were."

"Yes, because talking about how the first time we had sex in my Navigator in the parking lot of a gay bar would've made for an amazing story to tell, wouldn't it?"

"What is that supposed to mean?"

"It means that I don't want my first time to be worthless. God I love you, but I wasn't ready, especially when I was having such a crappy night and you were drunk."

"Let it go, Kurt!"

"No Blaine, we're going to stop avoiding this and talk about it like mature adults."

"Oh god," Blaine groans.

"I can't do this while you're like a petulant eight year old. Can we do this when you're sober and not so much an asshole? Are there times you aren't an asshole anymore, actually?"

It happens one time. It's almost like Kurt sees it coming, but at the same time, he doesn't. This isn't supposed to be happening to him, alcohol shouldn't make people so horrible sometimes, but it does, and others have to suffer the consequences of violent drunkards. Kurt didn't have time to steel himself for that. The impact of Blaine's fist against his cheek makes everything quiet down and all of a sudden, all that's heard is Blaine's heavy breathing and Kurt's gasp. Kurt's not even sure he's breathing right now. Kurt wants to believe that didn't just happen. That is all a bad dream. Kurt is going to wake-up and he and Blaine will be _KurtAndBlaine _again not whatever this is. This isn't Kurt's reality. This is a horribly vivid dream.

"Oh my god Kurt I didn't-"

"No."

"Kurt baby please, I'm sorry. It just happened and you know I didn't mean it. I just-"

"Stop right now, Blaine Anderson."

Blaine holds back his gasps with a palm over his mouth. Kurt hesitantly lifts a shaky hand to his cheek and winces. It really hurts now. It didn't hurt before but that was probably the shock. Immediately tears pool in Kurt's eyes and he looks at his gasping, dry-heaving boyfriend staring up at him with doe-eyes from where he's standing.

Kurt doesn't even look back after he turns around and begins to walk away. He needs to get home and ice his cheek before he starts bruising. He refuses to acknowledge what just happened until necessary. Ideally that would be now, but Kurt isn't going to freak himself out before he gets home. He needs to drive.

"Please d-d-d-don't lea-leave," Blaine pleads as he trails after Kurt, not wanting to touch his boyfriend in case he pulls back, but at the same time wanting to. "I really d-d-didn't mean to d-d-o that. It was the alcohol. Baby, I l-l-love you, you know th-that." Blaine is a stammering, rambling mess trailing after Kurt as the latter walks through the Anderson manor on autopilot.

Kurt turns around, fire blazing in his eyes. "The alcohol? You don't get to fucking tell me it was the alcohol that did this. You did this, Blaine! Won't you take responsibility for your mistakes one day?"

"Kurt-"

"No, don't Kurt me. I'm leaving, and I swear to god if you follow me home or you text me, I will break-up with you. Just leave me alone right now, please." Kurt makes a move to pinch the bridge of his nose, but his whole face aches, so he withholds. "Blaine I don't understand."

"Kurt-"Blaine starts, but Kurt is already slamming the door in Blaine's face.

* * *

_No, no, no, no, no! This isn't happening._ Blaine can't think coherently. Every time he tries to get his thoughts in check, all he sees is Kurt's look of betrayal clearly evident on his face. Nothing is happening the way it's supposed to. Kurt wasn't supposed to say all those things. He was supposed to agree with Blaine and the two were going to makeup. Kurt fixes things, he's level-headed, there for Blaine when Blaine feels like he needs a cheer squad, though he'd never voice these thoughts. Kurt _knows _Blaine and Blaine just ruined that trust. It's gone and Blaine can't think because _goddamit he's floating._

Why the fuck is he drinking? Alcohol started all of this. Blaine fucking knows that he shouldn't drink, he knows it. It's not like his father cares in any case, but he knows he should. Kurt has told him he shouldn't, but Blaine fucking does it anyway because Anderson's are in charge. Anderson's dictate what happen in their lives, whether it's safe or otherwise, it's an Anderson's choice and it's always assured that someone will take care of their problems.

Kurt took care of his problems just like Elora took care of Richard Anderson before it was too late. Now Elora's gone and Misty's taken her place. She's young, stupid, and she doesn't give two shits about Blaine. She can't take care of his dad the same way Elora did. No one else can take care of Blaine like Kurt does, and Blaine's afraid he really screwed this one up. No, Blaine did screw this up and he doesn't know how he can worm his way out of this.

* * *

Kurt gets into his car but he can't drive. God, he hopes that Blaine doesn't decide to come outside now because he can't deal with his boyfriend. _Is he still going to be his boyfriend after this? _Kurt's going to think about the bruising later, but now he allows himself to cry. This is all wrong. Things are not supposed to go like this and the worst part is that Kurt feels like he has no control.

He wants to just forget what happened so he's still got the same bubble of comfort, but he will not put up with this. That night at Scandals was a push, but hitting Kurt will not sit with the countertenor. There is no way that Kurt is just going to forget everything happened and just forgive Blaine. Blaine needs help. Kurt needs to help Blaine, or more, help Blaine get help because Kurt cannot do that task himself.

He feels mortified in a strange way. This is all so fucked up. He's not scared of Blaine, god no, he's scared of what Blaine can do influenced by other substances or god forbid, his anger. Kurt just doesn't understand. He feels like he doesn't even know Blaine anymore. He used to know him so well, as well as Blaine knew him and now? Nothing.

He is upset, hurt, and a bit scared right now but he refuses to call anyone because he just needs to think about what happened. He needs to think about he's going to fix this. He needs to figure out how he's going to explain the purpling mark on his cheek. He needs to figure out how to get Blaine to talk about it and not be passive aggressive. Too much needs to be done for such a small act and really, it's taking its strain on Kurt and he's not sure he can try forget about it this time.

Kurt thinks about texting Sam to have him ready to give comfort, but knowing the boy, he'd tell Burt. He feels like he has nowhere to go. No Mercedes, no Rachel, he doesn't know if he should go to Tina's, and he can't go to Alicia's because she's still living with Lucy. There's always Santana, but he's sure that she would try castrate him in his sleep. Sebastian it is. He's been trying to avoid the thought, but he was the first person Kurt thought of. Things are so complicated.

He calls Sebastian.

_"Aw miss me already, princess?"_

_"Are you at the dorms yet?"_

_"Fuck shit. Kurt, are you okay?"_

_"Are you at the dorms? I'm sorry- I just, I'm being morbid and I just-"_ Kurt takes a deep breath. He's not sure if he can continue. It seems as though he doesn't need to because Sebastian speaks next.

_"Come to Dalton. You're at Anderson's right? It's not too far, do you need directions?"_

_"No,"_ Kurt takes a steadying breath. _"I'll be there in ten."_

_"Just come up okay? I'm in Windsor. The prefects don't make such a big deal about guests on the weekends. Second floor, room 10A. Hurry."_

_"I will. Thank you Bas."_

* * *

Sebastian's heart melts when Kurt calls him Bas. It breaks simultaneously because of the heartbreak laced in Kurt's speech. Then he thinks about the tears that Kurt sounded like he was preventing and all he can think is _holy shit_ because his room looks gross and Kurt's probably going to kill him. Then he stops right there because Sebastian _isn't_ okay with these thoughts and who cares if Kurt doesn't like his room?

He waits for five minutes. _You care, assclown. About Kurt and what he thinks of your stupid room. _So Sebastian gets to work cleaning his room and five minutes later, he hears a quiet knock on his door.

When Sebastian moves to open the door, he doesn't know what to expect, but he can tell you that he didn't expect Kurt looking like he's near hysterics _with his face purpling._

Kurt attempts to smile at Sebastian, but flinches slightly when his lips turn upwards. Something seems to click in his brain, and all of a sudden tears are cascading down his face. The boys stand facing each other. Kurt on the verge of a panic attack and Sebastian just lost between sympathy and anger because he can bet his bottom dollar that _he_ did this.

Sebastian realizes that he needs to say, do something really because Kurt looks like he's freaking. He knows exactly what to do, but this nostalgia is way too much for his brain to handle. He takes a deep inhale through his nose and let's out the carbon-dioxide through his mouth.

"Fuck," Sebastian mutters before pulling Kurt into a tight embrace. Sebastian's on his tip-toes slightly, Kurt's head being tucked under his chin but it's okay that it's uncomfortable because Kurt's let everything he was trying to hold back go and Sebastian would be lying if he said his heart wasn't breaking as time continues.

When Sebastian pulls him into the hug, it's like all restraint Kurt's tried to have (and failed) just breaks down and the dam walls open. Kurt clutches Sebastian's shirt in his hands and he's gasping for air, for a slight amount of oxygen so that he doesn't feel like the air is getting sucked out of his body, so that he feels he isn't floating anymore, so that he can find normality and content in his source of comfort.

Kurt cries and cries. Sebastian moves to close the door but as he pulls away from Kurt, the boy starts whimpering.

"Woah, Kurt relax. I'm just closing the door." Sebastian moves to close the door quickly and grabs a hold of Kurt's hand, leading him to the couch in his room. It's a sleeper couch, but nevertheless. There is no way in hell Sebastian's letting Kurt drive tonight so he supposes it's time he got acquainted with his old friend.

"I-I I tried s-s-so hard Bas." Kurt says once he's seated on the couch, arms around his legs protectively.

"I'm sure you did. But please, I can't help you if you don't tell me what happened."

Kurt starts shaking his head frantically and starts crying harder. His gasps are shorter now, untimed, and he can't seem to get himself from that place of floating. Sebastian makes a move to hold Kurt but Kurt puts an arm up to prevent that. He looks up at Sebastian's face with wild, sorry eyes and holds himself tighter, willing this feeling to go away. Kurt hears his mother's voice singing.

_Someday your child may cry_

_But if you sing this lullaby_

_Then in your heart_

_There will always be a part of me_

He's begging, pleading, with his body to work the way it's supposed to. Replaying the sound of his mother's voice over and over, trying to remember all the times with Elizabeth that made him so happy.

* * *

Elizabeth and Kurt sit closely on the couch, Kurt's head rested under her arm, as they both sing along to The Time of Our Lives softly.

"I wish Daddy would dance with me like that." Elizabeth teases, chuckling.

"Mommy," Kurt places a small hand on his mother's cheek making her face him, "I will make Daddy take you dancing so that you can be like Johnny and Baby. But it'll be even cooler because you're so much prettier than Baby. She needs to comb her hair properly." Kurt scrunches his nose and shakes his head in a distasteful manner.

"Aw my darling angel," she plants a kiss on Kurt's knuckles, chuckling. "You are the sweetest but I think I need to comb my hair properly too."

"No," Kurt gasps tugging a strand of his mother's hair and twisting it around his finger. "I think your hair is perfect just like you."

Elizabeth blushes, pulls Kurt into her lap and turns onto her side to lay down with Kurt securely wrapped in her arms in front of her. Kurt giggles at the whole ordeal but pushes himself into his mother's embrace and continues to watch the movie with her.

When the movie ends, Elizabeth stands to stretch her legs and Kurt mimics her, touching his toes with his fingers, tongue sticking out of his mouth indicating deep concentration.

"One day, if you keep stretching, you'll be able to do this," Elizabeth drops one leg as it slides across the carpet and lands in a perfect split. Kurt's jaw drops and he gapes at his mother.

"Won't that hurt?" He whispers, almost as if though it's a secret.

"It will, if you don't stretch," Elizabeth says. "And one day, you'll meet your own version on Baby and you'll be able to lift her just like Johnny did."

Kurt sits across his mother with his legs crossed as she touches her toes. "But what if I don't want a Baby? What if I want a Johnny?"

Elizabeth's head snaps up from where it's rested on her knee and she beams at Kurt. "Well, my darling angel, if you want Johnny, get yourself a cute boy just like Johnny."

Kurt smiles shyly at his mom. "Really mommy, can I?"

"Well why wouldn't you be able to?" Elizabeth exclaims as a matter-of-factly. "Besides, it'll be easier because instead of Johnny always carrying Baby, you can take turns with _your_ Johnny."

"That's very smart, Mommy. You're a very smart, pretty lady."

"Why thank you, Kurt. You're rather handsome too."

Kurt gives his mother a toothy grin and throws himself into her arms. He whispers an 'I love you' into her hair and pulls back with an even wider grin plastered on his face.

* * *

Kurt calms down after much coaxing and a lot help from Sebastian with his breathing. He would laugh at this scene if he wasn't so hysterical, but the "breath in, breath out, yay to happy air" are the cutest things Kurt has ever experienced firsthand, what with the seal-resembling claps and the brighter than New York City all lit up smiles. This is way cuter than Blaine's-

Shit.

Sebastian hesitantly places a hand over Kurt's knee here he still has them pulled up against his chest. Kurt doesn't flinch, he welcomes the touch. It's not foreign to him at all and his body has gotten very acquainted with it as of recent, but he doesn't feel bad that he feels good about it anymore.

This is his form of mental protection. Sebastian's keeping him held don, out of his bad buddle of negativity and Kurt finds it soothing, but it's almost as if though his brain, on autopilot, has decided that every time thoughts of Blaine pass through, Kurt's going to have a mild freak-out and start crying. It's unnecessary and uncalled for and all Kurt wants to do is sleep.

"Can I stay for the night?" Kurt whispers.

"I would never let you go in this state." Sebastian says as-a-matter-of-factly. "Do you wanna use my pyjama's?"

"That would be appreciated." Kurt smiles up at Sebastian weakly and raises a hand to stroke his cheek tentatively because it's as though his face is stretched across where he's starting to bruise. He flinches from the touch. "You wouldn't happen to have ice by any chance would you?"

"I'll go get all that now. Will you be okay here on your own for a little bit?"

"I'll be fine, don't worry."

Sebastian shuffles his feet uncertainly and then nods. "I'll be back."

Kurt utters his own "okay" as he watches Sebastian walk out of the room. He looks angry, lost and kinda sad, Kurt decides. Kurt hopes that it isn't his fault Sebastian's any of those emotions.

He takes a deep breath and chides himself for not being able to stop crying tonight. He won't let Blaine win. He feels bad for Sebastian though, because he's constantly dealing with Kurt in this unstable, crazy state. Kurt thinks he should give Sebastian a gift basket or something to that effect for putting up with him.

He makes a visual sweep of Sebastian's room and makes a noise of acknowledgement. It's a nice room. Very large though. He has a bed in the middle of the wall to the left of the door and the couch is pressed against the end of it. On the right side there's a door which presumably leads to the bathroom and there's a closet near the door, next to a working desk.

Sebastian's room is very light. Everything is; there are beige's and blues and whites. Kurt likes it, it's surprisingly something he wasn't shocked at seeing. It's very Sebastian in an odd way. As he takes a seat on the couch again, a few stacks of photographs and three cameras (_Wow!_) catch his attention. He didn't know Sebastian was into photography. He stands up again to move towards the photo's, but at that moment Sebastian walks into the room, holding packet of ice and a look of sheer determination on his face. When he sees Kurt standing, a guilty expression plastered on his face, he raises an eyebrow suspiciously.

"Why are you standing?"

"Uh," Kurt sniffles, "I'm just stretching my legs."

"Sit, we need to ice your face."

Kurt bites his bottom lip and takes a tentative seat on the couch as Sebastian closes the door and sits across him. Sebastian gives him a sad smile.

"This is going to hurt a little, okay?"

Kurt nods and Sebastian moves forward slightly, placing the ice on Kurt's jaw. The latter blanches at the cold on his face then the pain hits him like a freight train and he gasps almost trying to get the source of his pain away from himself and simultaneously bring the cold with him because it's making him feel better now that he's gotten used to it.

"So are you going to tell me what happened?" Sebastian asks in an oh-so-casual tone.

"No."

"No?"

"No." Kurt confirms. "I don't want to tell you because it's pathetic, sad, and embarrassing. I'm embarrassed, Bas. I didn't even see it coming, well sort of, and it just, things aren't supposed to be like that. Things are supposed to be perfect. I just don't understand." He takes a deep breath and looks at Sebastian with a pleading look in his eyes willing him to make the hurt, the confusion and the heartache go away.

"I don't think it's pathetic," Sebastian shrugs and gives Kurt the ice when he holds his hand out for it. "Sometimes shit happens and you just gotta take it. You've been getting a lot of crap recently and I just don't think you should take it anymore. You're strong Kurt."

"No, I'm not. I like to say that I am, but I'm not." Kurt rubs his eyes, ridding himself of the tears that were threatening to fall down his face. "All my life, I've had to deal with homophobes and bigotry. Just when I thought that I had someone to deal with it alongside me, that I'd found something, someone, to fight all of it for, that went to shit."

Sebastian pulls Kurt up by his wrist and sits him on his own bed. The latter doesn't hesitate to get comfortable and he proceeds to look at Sebastian expectantly. For some reason, Sebastian never thought Kurt Hummel would be urging him onto his bed to have a heart-to-heart. He doesn't really think that he ever thought Kurt would be in his bed except for those private dreams that _no one_ is ever going to find out about. Sebastian chides himself because he's off topic now.

"You're speaking a load of shit now." He rolls his eyes at Kurt's bitch face. He no longer fears that facial expression. As of recent, a come-at-me persona has surfaced when dealing with Kurt in a bad mood. Nate Ruess knew what he was talking about when he was going on about invincibility.

"Well you are," Sebastian continues. "Maybe right now you don't feel at your strongest, or maybe you haven't felt like it in a while, but to me? You are the strongest, bravest man I have ever has the privilege of meeting. No matter how annoying as fuck you can be sometimes."

Kurt throws a pillow at Sebastian who squeaks indignantly and falls off the bed. Kurt has a stronger throw than Sebastian gives him credit for.

"That's what happens when you call me annoying." Kurt chuckles. "Get up off the floor, Sebastian."

"I can't Kurt. You've killed me, therefore I'm dead."

"That's what usually happened when people are killed. They become dead. Though the dead don't really talk, so I don't know what you are."

_"I'm living dead, dead, dead, dead," _Kurt's laughing at (with?) Sebastian. Of course he'd say that. How could he assume anything else other than the fact that Sebastian's a dork and that Kurt absolutely adores this cute, quirky side of his personality?

Sebastian scrunches up his nose and closes his eyes before plating himself on the bed, smirking at Kurt.

"What?"

"Nothing," Sebastian sings the words in a patronizing manor. He's plotting something and Kurt isn't sure if he likes it."

"Sebastian," Kurt whines as he scoots back to give Sebastian space. He doesn't want to be within grip of the latter's hands when it comes time for what Sebastian is planning to do. Sebastian gives Kurt a bright smile and pats the empty space next to him.

"You've become so strange, I swear to god." Kurt mumbles.

"Baby, I was born this way."

"Are you going to correlate everything to a song?" Kurt glares when Sebastian shrugs. "This isn't high school musical."

"Oh no," Sebastian laughs, sitting up. "If this was high school musical, none of us would have gelled our hair because apparently gel and hairspray didn't exist in two thousand whenever the fuck it came out. We would also be crooning romantic, teeny bobber ballads to each other."

Kurt feigns offence, placing a hand on his heart. "What is wrong with teeny bobber ballads, Sebastian Smythe? You lack the romanticism that would have gotten you Gabriela if you were Troy."

"Oh please. Had I been Troy, I wouldn't have needed romanticism because Gabriela would have been putty in my hands, and Ryan would have been putty _in my hands. _Catch my drift?"

"I'm never going to look at Ryan Evans the same. But I will look back on this moment in time and never forget because you remembered his name. I'm not sure if I want t laugh at you or raise my metaphorical hat."

"If I have a choice, I choose the metaphorical hat."

Kurt chuckles and lays down next Sebastian. He turns to his side and flinches as how hard his face planted on his arm. It doesn't escape his notice that Sebastian noticed and is now frowning.

"I'm going to cut off his balls in his sleep. You know that right?"

"Of course you are."

Sebastian looks affronted at the lack of faith Kurt seems to have in his castration skills. "I'm serious."

"And I appreciate that." He gives Sebastian a small smile and sighs sadly. "You know I'm going to break up with Blaine, right?"

"Sebastian doesn't miss a beat. "That's what you said the last time."

"The last time was different, Bas. He needs help. I can't stay with him. I can help him get help but I can't be the one to help him. He just, he's confused and I don't know what to do."

"I don't even know how you can be so fucking selfless. I want to feed Blaine his balls and here you are. Why do you want to help him? I just don't get it."

Kurt smiles one of those self-depreciating smiles that Sebastian would rather never see for the rest of existence. "I love him."

"He's stupid not to see how special you are." Sebastian lays down on his side facing Kurt, a small nagging thought at the back of his head asking him what exactly he's doing and why he's letting Kurt see him like this, but Sebastian isn't in the mood for his own shit.

"You're very sweet. And I know he is too. But I need to break up with him. This isn't healthy anymore."

"Are you sure that's what you want?" Looking back on this moment, Sebastian decides that he'd like to throw a bat at his own head. He decides to stop wanting to throw bat at his face as he delicately the tears stuck in Kurt's eyelashes.

"I'm sure."

Sebastian and Kurt sit in silence for what could be minutes as much as it could be hours. Eventually Sebastian stands and walks towards his closet, coming back with two pairs of sweatpants, two shirts and a hoodie. He says that it's just incase Kurt gets cold. Kurt knows he won't get cold but opts for taking the hoodie and giving Sebastian a hug. Sebastian sighs heavily and places his cheek on the top Kurt's head. He shivers when Kurt exhales whilst his head is buried in his neck.

The boys pull back and give each other smiles indicating 'what can you do?'

Sebastian would have slept on the couch had Kurt not given him puppy eyes on full blast. There are no words really spoken except for Kurt's quiet 'thank you' and that was that. Sebastian gets under the duvet and asks Kurt to turn the lights off since he's right there.

"I'm just sending my dad a text. Hold on a moment." Sebastian smiles tiredly at him and nods, plopping his head onto his pillow. Kurt sends a text to his dad letting him know that he won't be home tonight but just for old time's, well what will soon be, he sends one more.

Kurt puts his phone on silent after he receives a message from his dad telling him that he'd had better be home tomorrow and he turns off the lights. He takes a deep breath, quietly sniffing Sebastian's hoodie and then making his way towards the opposite side of where Sebastian's sleeping. He climbs into the bed and get's settled under the covers. When he rests on his left side, Sebastian turns around and gives him a comforting smile and a raised arm as invitation.

The gesture is easier than asking and it's also way easier than offering, but Kurt is thankful in any case. He sits up and moves closer to Sebastian, pressing his back against the latter's chest. He immediately sighs and melts into Sebastian's chest. This feels so nice; comforting.

Sebastian flings an arm around Kurt's waist, pulling him closer. He places his mouth near Kurt's ear. "I'm sorry." He whispers almost as if it's a secret. Sebastian doesn't know why he's sorry, but he needs to apologize.

"Me too."

Kurt places his hand over where Sebastian's hand is and entangles their fingers. Sebastian stiffens and Kurt prepares himself for the boy to pull back. He doesn't. He takes a breath through his nose and gives Kurt's fingers a light squeeze, scooting as close as he can get. No one would be able to tell where Kurt ends and where Sebastian starts, but they both like the feeling and that scares the shit out of them.

**To Blaine** (00:23): _Okay, we really need to talk. You're not getting your way out of it this time. I hope that you're feeling better. God knows the hangover you're going to have in the morning. I'm sorry that I just left yesterday, but you have to understand why. I love you Blaine. I hope that you know that's true, no matter what happens._

* * *

I'll get the next chapter out as soon as I can, but I started school two weeks ago so I've been swamped. I just discovered that I'm really, really bad at chemistry.

Songs referenced; Carry on by FUN. & Living dead by Marina & The Diamonds

Please review and give me your feedback. I honestly don't know how I'm going to write out what happens next. Remember, I know what I'm doing. Please don't attack me via review. Please. x


	8. Chapter 8

I wish I had a good explanation as to why I didn't update, but I don't. I wrote in bits and pieces. A hundred words here, five hundred there, one thousand that time and so on. Your reviews have really been making me get up off my ass and writing. School has been hectic. I'm aiming at finishing a grade and a half this year but that's slightly harder than I thought it would be. The 50th reviewer was _everythingsklaine-nothinghurts_. YOU ARE AWESOME. Also an anon message I got on tumblr on Monday asking me about the story; I'm sorry you started reading without checking if the story was completed (I do this all the time), but hey you made me get the laptop out and take my passivity gloves off. YOU ARE AWESOME TOO.

I'm shutting up because I'm currently rambling and I kind of want to throw something at myself so I can't begin to image what you feel like. I'm sorry I haven't been on tumblr. School, sigh. You're all fantastic. Please keep reviewing. I will try update as soon as I can. Thank you for sticking with me through all my shit. It means a lot to me.

Enjoy x

29-3-13 edit : I inserted all the line breaks because I didn't get to do them properly before. Sorry for the inconvenience. x

* * *

**Chapter 8**

* * *

Sebastian wakes up at approximately 5:45am. It isn't by choice. Kurt has somehow managed to tangle himself around Sebastian like an octopus. Sebastian doesn't want to move Kurt, but the thing is that _he can't really breathe_. He shouldn't be accountable for anything he does this morning just because he likes having Kurt next to him when he sleeps. Nope, he refuses to think about what _that_ means.

Sebastian shimmies down the bed slightly and loosens the grip Kurt has on his sleeping shirt. He moves further to the right side of the bed and Kurt drops his hand off his waist when it becomes too much of a stretch for him to keep holding on. He immediately starts moving his hand around on the bed so Sebastian puts his pillow in hand distance. Kurt quickly latches onto it with the small hint of a smile on his face. _Thank you F.R.I.E.N.D.S for teaching me the pillow trick._

Kurt looks so peaceful when he sleeps, Sebastian concludes. He knows that it would be classified creepy to do this – but he can't help it. It's a photo moment and it's perfect. This is the perfect picture to be taken with his new Canon camera, which he's wanted to use for eons (so, four days really) because he's been using the Polaroid more often than not. This is really this is a career opportunity instead of him taking a picture of an innocent, unsuspecting guy. He picks the camera up and checks the memory. Nine gigabytes free from sixteen. He smiles to himself. He really does need to start moving his photos onto his laptop. What would happen one jolly day when he did something stupid like lose his camera? He'd be screwed.

He snaps the picture and two more after it. Just in case. There is never an exact replica of a moment to take a photo. Of course there are many opportunities to take pictures, but never again would you get the exact same picture that you would've taken in that precise moment. Mother Nature doesn't give grace – it's all about the adrenaline and just being _in that moment. _You'd get a similar photo, but never the same. Maybe better, maybe not, but never would the photograph be the same. He smiles to himself and puts his camera down, in search for his laptop.

Sebastian dips down to the floor and picks up his backpack. He retrieves his laptop and its extension chord, plugging it into the wall. Sebastian switches the laptop on. Kurt stirs, but he does goes back to sleep. Sebastian takes an internal sigh of relief. Last night, Kurt wasn't in the best state of mind, so he's rooting for the situation where sleep made everything better and Kurt's gotten a clear mind – with which he'd break up with Blaine.

Sebastian really wishes Kurt would break up with Blaine. It would make things so much better; easier, if he did. He wouldn't be getting hurt and Sebastian wouldn't always have to be the comforter. Not that Sebastian minds giving comfort to Kurt – but he was wishes there was more. He wants to give Kurt comfort and contentedness, but he wants to give Kurt other things. It's almost as though that's all he's good for. To pick up the pieces every single time Blaine does something stupid. Sebastian doesn't know what this feeling he's experiencing is.

Sebastian frowns as he goes through the first folder of pictures. He honestly can't wait for Amsterdam. Flights are booked for the 19th of December. Just thirteen more days and he can relax with his best friends. Because that's what Alicia and Kurt are now, his best friends. It's weird to think about it – well it was weird to think about it before, but now he has fully admitted to the fact that, yes, Kurt Hummel is one of his closest and most cherished friends whom he may or may not have a crush on. He's leaning more towards the _may_ at this current point.

Sebastian scrolls past a picture of him and Jeff. He's giving Jeff a piggyback ride. Sebastian smiles. He wishes he and Kurt had cute pictures like this but somewhere in the back of his mind, his subconscious whispers to him that there's plenty of time for those to happen. He really does think, deep down in his most secretive thoughts that _yes, this could happen_.

Sebastian takes his earphones from the drawer to his left and plugs them into his laptop. He never was one to work with silence. He won't listen to listen to Marina right now because he's going to go on a Marina & The Diamonds cycle just before Amsterdam so that he's fully in the mode for the concert. He doesn't think he's ever been so excited for the concert. He wasn't even this excited for Rihanna or Maroon 5. A smile graces itself on his face momentarily as the scrolls through his music selection to The Black Ghosts. Why the hell not?

Time progresses fast whilst Sebastian goes through all of his photographs. Two hours later, Kurt wakes up and rubs his eyes tiredly when sits up on the bed. Sebastian notices the movement in his peripheral vision and pauses his play list from continuing playing Tin Sparrow. He takes his earphones out and puts them back in the drawer. Kurt blinks owlishly at him as he does all this. Sebastian's using all of his self-restraint to ignore the strong urge to kiss Kurt because he's so damn adorable. That would be uncalled for and extremely inappropriate at this very moment.

"Morning princess," Sebastian moves to sit on the edge of the bed.

"Morning," Kurt frowns a little. "How long have you been up?"

Sebastian checks his watch. "Not long. Just about two hours."

"Did I wake you up by mistake?"

"No," Sebastian assures. "You didn't wake me up – I'm just a morning person."

"I'd never guess that. You seem like you'd be a bitch in the morning." Kurt lets out a little chuckle.

Sebastian sticks his tongue out at Kurt. "I think the morning is the only time I'm _not_ a bitch. It's the time before anyone has the change to fuck stuff up. You've got a clean slate and you've got to make the most of everything in the beginning of that day or else your day is going to go to shit."

"That's very philosophical." Kurt teases, but you can hear the sincerity in his words. "I really like that. It's kind of like you're taking charge on how you'd like your day to go, isn't it?"

"That's my point exactly."

Kurt and Sebastian sit in a comfortable silence for ten minutes. Nothing getting to a point of awkwardness – but merely a situation where the boys keep to themselves and are deep in their private thoughts.

"Are you okay?"

Kurt looks up from the stack of photographs that piqued his interest last night that are still sitting there on the book case, tempting him. "I'm fine."

"Are you sure?"

"I think so."

Sebastian sighs. "Are you going to talk to Blaine today?"

"I should, but I really don't want to." Kurt looks down. "Besides, he'll be hung-over, so wouldn't it be better to talk about this when he's sober? This isn't something that's just going to be a simple, mutual break-up. I think things need to be discussed, but I just really don't want to because that makes everything so much more real."

"Stop trying to deflect, Kurt." Sebastian lifts his index finger to stop Kurt who was about to interrupt. "I'm not kidding. You keep trying to leave it for later, but the thing is that whenever you leave it for later, things just backfire. I think that you really deciding to break-up with him is very admirable and you know I'm proud, but I'm also fucking pissed at you for letting this get to the point where these precautions are necessary."

Suddenly the thread count on Sebastian's throw blanket has gotten very interesting for Kurt. He knows Sebastian's right, but fuck, he hates being wrong. He doesn't understand why he can't be right about something for a change. He hates the fact that he wants to chicken out of this. He absolutely loathes that he's made himself feel so inferior. "I know."

Sebastian's eyes widen. "Really?"

"Yeah, I really do." Kurt sighs and pulls his knees to his chest. "It's just really hard." A tear slips from his eye. Sebastian doesn't know whether to try comfort him or not. If Kurt makes a signal then he'll go, but for now he's just going to let Kurt express his feelings. "I don't want it to be hard. I want it to be easy. I want it to be better now. Not later. Right now at this very second."

"I know you do," Sebastian crosses his legs and offers Kurt a sympathetic smile. "But it's going to get better eventually and when that happens, you won't realize. Good things come to those who wait, but half the time, it's more of a slip in. Suddenly things start going your way and you barely have time to think about where all the goodness is coming from because everything was just so bad before and you're just _so_ relieved that it's good now."

Kurt cocks his head to the side and gives a small nod. "I wish all the good stuff would come now already. I don't want to deal with the bad stuff anymore."

"We never do. But it builds character and teaches us to persevere so matter how bad things are. We can't let bad situations take us down and make us hurt all the time. That's letting that time of weakness overrule you." Sebastian moves forward and rests his hand tentatively on Kurt's shoulder, staring at him with his piercing emerald eyes. Kurt can't help but admire Sebastian right now. This isn't one of those spur of the moment '_god, he's hot'_ moments, this is one of those days where Kurt looks at Sebastian and he sees a beautiful and innocent boy. Not too old for his years and not looking like he's been through enough for the whole world combined.

When Sebastian's passionate like this, something churns within Kurt. The way a sliver of sunlight shines through the curtains because they weren't closed completely, making Sebastian's eyelashes look golden. He's just so beautiful and Kurt's so overwhelmed with how much he just wants to touch. How he wants to cup Sebastian's cheek and just _look_. But he can't. And he probably will never be able to.

"Greatness is going through all this stuff and coming through so much stronger and so ready to take on the world because you've been there. You've told the world to come at you and it has. And you won. You know what I'm saying?"

"Yeah I do," Kurt moves forward and rests his head on Sebastian's leg looking up to bright emerald colored eyes. "Is this okay?" when the latter nods slowly and in contemplation, Kurt sighs. "I don't want to be weak. But I'm afraid of how everything's going to happen. Like, okay, I break up with Blaine. Then what? I know for a fact that most of the glee club will be in opposition of me. I mean after Scandals when Blaine sang for me, everyone was pissed at me for not singing a love song back."

Sebastian snorts. "I'm sorry, this is horrible timing, but your school sucks. And not even in a good way."

Kurt rolls his eyes in fond exasperation. "Yes, they suck. Well, some of them suck. I have good friends there; friends that are there for me thick and thin without any boundaries or anything like that. I love a worriless friendship where I don't always have to worry about whether what I'm saying is alright, or too sassy, or If I'm being invasive or inconvenient, you know?"

Kurt takes a deep sigh and throws his arm over his eyes, almost trying to shield himself from the world. Sebastian tentatively starts running his fingers through Kurt's hair. He stares up at the ceiling and laughs internally because whoever thought this would ever be happening. The boys sit in in silence for a while, never awkward – not with Sebastian and Kurt – just contemplative.

Sebastian whispers like it's a secret not even meant for the room to hear. Sebastian isn't even really sure his own ears want to hear what he's about to say. "You're like that for me."

"Hmm?" Kurt opens his eyes and stares up at Sebastian's face. He looks nervous but also content. Kurt wonders momentarily why he's never paid closer attention to the former.

"You," he coughs. "You're that friendship that I never have to worry about. I mean, I know sometimes I say offensive things, but you need to know that I wouldn't ever intentionally um, hurt you." There's a blush rising high on Sebastian's cheek which makes Kurt work very hard at resisting the urge to giggle or kiss Sebastian, _or something insane like that._

"You're that for me to."

Sebastian smiles at him and just like that, the nervous tension's gone. The two of them sit on the bed, Kurt's head on Sebastian's lap as the latter plays with his hair. Had it been anyone else, Kurt would've had a word to say to them about touching his hair. But it's not just anyone, it's Sebastian. And with Sebastian, he feels comfortable and at home – which scares him.

* * *

"I love how you think you can just get into the house with no explanation or anything about last night." Burt chuckles. "What do you take me for, kid?"

Kurt's curses internally. He doesn't want to turn around because of the purple bruise on his face that might actually cause his father to have a mini heart attack. Unfortunately Sebastian didn't have any concealer (not that Kurt thought he would, but he was in hopes just a little. Sebastian has eyeliner in various colours, though.) "Hey Dad, I'm home now. Sorry about yesterday. Tina had a boyfriend emergency that only I could help her with."

Burt narrows his eyes but because of his turned back, Kurt doesn't notice. "I want you to tell me you were at Tina's whilst looking me in the eye."

Kurt feigns annoyance but he's pretty sure that there's a tinge of guilt in his words. "Dad, you can't expect me to believe that you trust me if you won't even listen to what I tell you. I was at Tina's last night and now I'm here. Can I go upstairs, please?"

"Turn around."

Kurt panics. "Wait-whoa- why?"

"It feels weird talking to at your back when you're freaking out on me. Besides, it's a bit disrespectful – no, get that pout of your face. I can practically smell it."

Kurt takes a deep breath through his nose and turns around slowly. The look on his father's face would be comical if he wasn't waiting for some type of reaction that he's bound to get. Burt intakes oxygen sharply though his teeth and his eyes widen, and then narrow. Kurt has the decency to look guilty. He can actually feel the anger rolling of his father.

"Oh hey Kurt," Sam walks out of the kitchen. "I thought I heard you – holy shit," his eyes widen as he takes in Burt's stance and Kurt's face. "I mean holy crap. That's what I meant. What happened to you?"

"Yes," Burt cocks his head to the side and frowns. "What did happen to you, Kurt?"

This is all very overwhelming, Kurt decides. Sam isn't even trying to be intimidating. He's just standing around with a whipped cream can in his shirtless glory asking Kurt, his friend, what happened to him because his face is kind of purple. There's no defensive stance or anything. Kurt sometimes forgets that people ask things because they can and not because it's obligatory.

"Well, when I was walking about of Tina's I walked into a pole." Even Kurt doesn't believe his own lie.

Burt raises an eyebrow sceptically. He isn't stupid. He knows exactly what happened. "That's some kind of messed up pole."

"No dude. That looks like you got clock-" Sam stops talking when Kurt's eyes widen. "I mean, that sucks. I once walked into a door. Not exactly a pole. But I did have a bruise."

Burt sighs ad rubs his temple soothingly. "You know I don't believe you for a moment but I'm not going to say anything right now and I don't want you to, either. I want you to go do exactly what you were going to do and when you want to tell me what happened then you know I'm here."

"Dad," Kurt groans. "It really isn't a big deal. I swear I'm fine. I just kind of tripped and went flying into the pole."

"Like I said, whenever you want to." Burt sighs. I'm going to go to the living room. The Buckeyes are about to play."

"Okay, enjoy Dad." Kurt smiles reassuringly at his father. Burt walks towards the living room and Kurt takes an audible sigh of relief.

"Well, as cute as that was," Sam places his arm over Kurt's shoulders, "I don't back down from a fight and I have absolutely no patience when it comes to bullshit. So, we're going to go downstairs and we are going to talk about what happened yesterday. Last I checked, you and Sebastian were playing old married couple and now you look like you took a good hit."

Kurt's eyes widen. "Whoa," he splutters. "No Sam. Sebastian and I were not playing old married coupe. I don't even understand what would possess you to think-"

"No," Sam shushes him. "It's okay. You're in denial. Someone in this friendship needs to not be whipped so that we have common sense. But I swear to god if Sebastian did this, he will never be able to have sex again."

Kurt snorts. "Okay, very well then." He gestures to the stairs leading to his room. "Go on, I'll follow behind you."

"What if we get to the bottom of the stairs and you lock me in before running away forever? Then what happens?"

"You're more dramatic than I am," Kurt rolls his eyes and walking down the first stair and raising an eyebrow at Sam's defensive stance. "I'll go then."

When they arrive downstairs, Kurt heads straight for his vanity and begins to tentatively rub different soaps into his skin. He's grateful that a shower isn't needed, and while he's usually be on the rocks about looking like crap, especially with a sort-of black eye, Sebastian's clothes are way more comfortable than his and they're actually not that bad. Sebastian is like a walking example of a hipster in the mid ninety's which Kurt finds hilarious because that's when the boy was born. Some people were just born in the wrong era.

After he's rinses his face in the bathroom, Kurt makes his way back to his room and lies on the bed next to Sam who's staring at the ceiling.

"Who did it?"

"It was a mistake."

"Kurt."

"Well it was. He was drunk. And no," Kurt sighs. "I'm not saying that it's okay at all. It's actually not okay, but he didn't mean to do it."

Sam turns onto his side and looks at Kurt who has his arm over his eyes. "Who's 'he'?"

Kurt hesitates for a second. "You may not tell anyone. You may not give him the shoulder and you aren't allowed to judge me," he takes a glance at Sam. He's smiling at him sympathetically. God, Kurt hates sympathetic looks. They make him feel powerless and pathetic. Like a newly born duckling. He chuckles darkly when he thinks about the irony of the Ugly Duckling. He's so similar to the duckling, it's sad. He just wonders when he's going to grow out of his current state of unhappiness and blossom. _Where the hell did blossom come from? We're talking about ducklings not flowers, Kurt._

"I promise." Kurt sighs and attempts to bury himself into his pillow. He peeks at Sam from the corner of the pillow and notices a flash of anger make its way through the latter's eyes. "It wasn't Sebastian, was it?"

Kurt doesn't hesitate to answer. "He wouldn't ever." Although usually his brain would be on its own road trip he knows for a fact that Sebastian wouldn't ever lay a hand on him. Yes, he thought that about Blaine and he's not saying that he understands why it happened, but he is acknowledging what happened. Kurt just knows that wasn't Blaine. He's an attention whore and a spoilt brat, but he isn't an abusive partner. Alcohol does horrible things to Blaine and for a split second, Kurt thinks about helping the former. About Blaine's parents helping the boy, but he remembers how his father doesn't care – about how he's barely ever there. And that breaks Kurt's heart more than Blaine already has.

"I'm really angry."

"I know."

"I'm a little bit angry at you for letting things get this bad between you two. I knew you were having problems, but come on, Kurt."

"I know. I am too. Kinda."

Sam pushes Kurt's hair out of his face. He doesn't have any product in his hair today. Just a red bandana that Sebastian insisted looked perfect on him. "Are you going to be okay?"

"Yeah. Talking to Blaine is going to suck though."

Sam knows it was Blaine, but hearing it just makes him angry. Who would want to hurt this sweet innocent boy? Kurt is the ultimate friend so Sam can't even imagine what an amazing boyfriend he is. It isn't fair. He shifts towards Kurt and puts his arms around the latter. "I'm sorry life sucks."

Kurt takes a deep breath. He can't cry. He won't cry. He's not even sure he has anymore tears left in him. "It's going to get better eventually. Remember how much life sucked for you and it got better? It always gets better, but I think it will because the people I love are around me around me. I know it will."

Sam tightens his grip around Kurt. "You're so much stronger than all of us."

Kurt doesn't say anything. He wants to say that no, he's not. He's a coward for letting things get so far because of the fear of being lonely. He wants to say that he should've been braver. But the thing is that everything is the way it is for a reason. He just wishes that said reason would reveal itself so that Kurt understood more. Now he just wants to know '_why_'?

Kurt ends up telling Sam everything that happened between him and Blaine with the promise that everything stays between the two of them. Sam agrees quickly, but as the story is told, Kurt can see the anger. He can feel it rolling off him. At some point, Sam falls asleep with his arm is wrapped smugly around Kurt's waist. The comfort is nice, but Kurt's body can't help but want another arm around him as he falls asleep.

As an alternative to the rock hard chiselled abs his arm is resting on, he wants less toned, yet firm abs in place. Instead of the current ones arms palace, there would be leaner – yet still strong- ones that contained more security and comfort. Kurt is done with denial. Denial has gotten him absolutely nowhere the past few weeks. Kurt wants Sebastian. This is the thought that passes though his mind as he drifts off to sleep dreaming of his future. He does that a lot now – dreaming about his future. It just keeps changing. Or more, the starring roles keep changing. Recently there have been a lot of repetitions of his blind fold dream. The last time he had it, his dream self peeked through the bandana covering his eyes and was met with an amused smile. A smirk, but a fond one, if that's even possible. Kurt isn't stupid. He knows exactly who it was in his dream and that fucking scares him.

* * *

Sebastian sprawls himself on his bed eagle style and listens to his sister go on about some cute boy she saw that would be absolutely _perfect_ for Sebastian. As silly as it is, he really misses his sister no matter how insane she gets.

"_Oh_?" he mocks. "_So he had the bluest eyes in the existence of blue_?"

"_Yes!_" she squeaks. "_Oh my god, there is no blue that could compare. And he plays for your team-_"

"_You've mentioned. At least seven times since we got onto the subject of your day – you have told me that he's very gay and very available_."

"Yes _well_," Sebastian can hear her out through the phone. "_He's still very cute_."

"_I think it's very sweet Max, but I'm not interested in any hook-ups right now_."

She chokes on air. "_Whoa, okay, do I get to know who's got you whipped at least_?"

Sebastian's eyes widen and he gasps. "_Who said I was whipped? Are you an insane person? I have senior year. I don't have time for hook-ups."_

"_Oh rubbish. You're the smartest little shit I know_."

"_Yes, well_."

"_Bas… is something wrong_?"

"_Look Maxine, you should be happy I'm not hooking up right now! It all started after the whole thing with Anton so aren't you relieved_?" From the way that Maxine gasps, he knows that he's taken it too far. But he can't seem to apologize. He won't apologize because it's true. He'll give her something else. Sebastian takes a deep breath. "_His name is Kurt_."

Maxine doesn't say anything for a minute. Sebastian is patient with her, though. He knows he crossed a line. He _knows. _"_Is he that boy I said was your _ami avec de nombreux avantages?

Sebastian snorts. "_Yes and the one I'm bringing to Amsterdam with me_. _How did you know it was him?_"

"_You don't go on coffee dates. You used to call them Disney friendly. I swear, even as a young teen you were a romance cynic._"

"_I am not a romance cynic. I am a regular person. Regular people believe that romance is a bunch of bullshit. Like come on now, how do you know what the fuck love is?_" Sebastian laughs darkly. "_You can't know what being in-love is. I know how to love family. Well, okay I know how to love some of the family. But how in the hell do I go about and love some random? Give them permission to break some kinda heart people keep claiming I have? No thank you. I don't believe that's possible._"

"_Bas, it's not like that. When you're in-love with someone it's beautiful. You should know how nice it is to give yourself to someone completely,_" she coughs lightly. "_Didn't it feel nice to just give yourself to Anton? The feeling of being cherished and of giving your all to someone? Didn't you absolutely adore that? Because I most certainly did. I still do._"

"_And look at how that turned out._"

"_You're fucking right. Look at how it turned out. We both ended up hating each other for god knows how long. You don't even know how angry I was at you, Sebastian Alexander Smythe. But do you know what? I would not erase that. Never ever. I felt love and shit, if it didn't feel good then I don't know what. I do not regret what happened, only the after effects of it._

A tear slips down Sebastian's face. He chooses to ignore it. "_I'm so sorry, Maxi._"

Maxine's voice softens. Sebastian can hear she's crying. "_Yeah, well me too._

They stay silent for a few minutes. They listen to each other's breathing until they've both calmed down. "_Max_?"

"Yes?"

"_I love you_."

She emits a loud sob. "_I love you too_."

"_I miss you_."

"_I can't wait till Amsterdam_."

"_Neither can I_."

* * *

Blaine's fought so hard for the past three years to prove his father wrong. For three years he's tried to prove that he isn't stupid, isn't a fuck up, that he's worthy of love. But he has a tendency in getting caught up in the whole hype of everything. Now that he's ruined one of the very few things that have made him feel worth it, he's remorseful.

Blaine doesn't know what got into him last night. He was just sad and then Kurt was there and he _wasn't_ making it better. He can't articulate it, but he feels like Kurt should've been making him feel better instead of riling him up. No, it isn't Kurt's fault – what happened, that is- but is it really Blaine's fault even if he was drunk?

He shakes his head, but quickly regrets the action when his feels like he's getting sledge-hammered. He laughs darkly and glances up at his ceiling. He deserves a bit of pain today. Or forever. At this rate Blaine doesn't care. He just doesn't care. He wants to fix things but he's not sure he should. He doesn't want to get back to what he and Kurt were the past few weeks. They've been together, but not _together_. They haven't been like they used to be for a while. Blaine knows it's his fault, he really does. He needs to make it up to Kurt, but he doesn't know how to sort himself out before that. Kurt will not accept his apology unless it's genuine and heartfelt. Shit, Blaine won't accept his own apology until he's one hundred and ten percent sure that things are going to be better.

He glances at his phone. It's 13:43. He wants to call Kurt, but he won't. He is hungry though, so he'll deal with that. He hoists himself out of bed and chances a glance at himself in the mirror. He shudders. He wonders briefly wonders if his Father and Misty are home. He highly doubts it, but nevertheless, he makes his way to the kitchen (Misty and Father aren't home) and pouring himself a glass of orange juice. He rests his cheek on the cold marble counter and sighs.

He considers texting Kurt or even Rachel, but right now he thinks Kurt wants space. Blaine also wants to mope a bit and he knows for a fact that Rachel will do everything in her power to prevent that from happening – so rather not. Besides, if he tells her about why he's upset – she'll be disappointed in him. Just like she was disappointed at the extremes Blaine got to when they were at Scandals, but worse because something was done. Blaine wonders momentarily if it would be weird if he ate his hand off. Then he wouldn't be able to do anything stupid (or masturbate, his mind provides) so he decides to take a sip of juice and wills his mind to shut up.

"What have I done?" he groans and makes his way to the lounge. He looks through the DVD's without giving much concentration and sticks it into the player.

"Blaine?" he looks up and away from the television at the sound of his name. It's Misty. He sighs. He can't deal with her right now.

"Yes Misty?"

She chuckles. "I'm so glad your father isn't around right now. I don't understand why he insists you call me 'Mother'. Like really," her eyes widen as she sits down next to Blaine, whose stance has gotten uncomfortable. "Please don't call me 'Mom'? I'm going to feel unnecessarily old."

"Oh, I won't." Misty's eyes widen momentarily and Blaine remembers that just because he feels like shit today – doesn't mean he needs to do the same to other people. He's given his fair share of bitterness recently. "No, I just." He inhales loudly through his mouth. "I know it's been a while since Mom was here, but she can't ever be replaced. Do you understand what I'm saying?"

A wave of relief makes its way over her face. _Thank god_, Blaine thinks. "Yeah, I understand. I'm sorry I got finicky about it."

"No worries."

"Good."

Misty doesn't make any move to leave so Blaine settles back into the couch and crosses his legs. Watching Charlie St. Cloud was a horrible idea because he knows that the moment he starts crying – the dam walls are going to burst. But it's just the beginning of the movie so he's good. Misty stands up and Blaine thinks he's succeeded at boring her to death so that she'll leave him alone.

"Do you want ice-cream?"

"Isn't popcorn usually movie food?"

She shrugs. "Yeah well, you don't look like you're in the mood for regular movie food. You look like you're in the mood for my double chocolate chip crunchie ice-cream I've been hiding in the back freezer."

Blaine's eyes widen. "Is that real?"

"Fuck yeah it is," Misty's eyes widen and her hand flies to her mouth. "Shit, I'm sorry. I'm supposed to be a role model or something like that."

Blaine snorts. "I mean this in the least insulting and creepy way, but I would have loved to have you as a sister."

"Yes well," she sticks her tongue out at Blaine and flicks her long blonde hair. "My age doesn't do anything for the matter, does it?"

"Nope," Blaine smiles and for a moment he thinks about how easy this is. He feels like he shouldn't be bonding with Misty. He doesn't want to like her. Does she even like his father? A frown settles on his face and she quickly makes her way to the couch sitting what Blaine perceives as an uncomfortably close distance to her.

"Please don't close up on me, Blaine? Please, I swear to god I'm trying so hard for you. I'm trying to be okay for you – so we can be friends." She puts a shaky hand on his arm and watches helplessly as tears stream down his face. "I know that something's wrong and I am in no way telling you to tell me, but please don't close up on me because we're having a little fun."

Blaine nods through his tears and squeezes her hand reassuringly. The tears just keep falling and _oh, look at that_, he didn't even need the movie to bring on the tears. Everything that has happened just takes over Blaine and for however long it is, Misty sits there and rubs Blaine's back reassuringly. Blaine lets himself cry everything he's feeling. All the sadness about what's going on with him and Kurt, the self hate because of what he's become, the happiness because he has some one to do all of this with. He just cries and cries hoping that things will get better.

Once Blaine has stopped crying – the movie long finished, Misty sits up and pulls Blaine up with her. "Come on," she says at his look of protest. "We're going to clean you up and then we're going to have ice-cream and watch Fashion police so that we can hate on famous people."

Blaine cracks a small smile and sniffles. "That's very mom-mish of you."

"Oh, um well," Misty blushes. "I try?"

"You really do."

She beams at him tugs him forward, placing her lithe arm around Blaine's shoulders. "Come on, let's go."

* * *

Kurt's phone vibrates. He can feel it in his pocket while he tried to ignore the feeling and continue sleeping, but it's repetitive and Sam's waking up as well – sort of – so he needs to check his messages. He hopes it's not Blaine. He really does. It's not as if he's avoiding the latter, but he just doesn't want to talk to him right now.

Sam blinks owlishly as he takes in his surroundings. Kurt cocks his head to the side and observes him. Sam is the weirdest person when he wakes up. He's either a cuddle slut or just extremely observant of everything that's around him. Kurt isn't sure if it scares him a bit or if he finds it endearing. It's probably a mix between the two.

"Why am I awake?"

Kurt works hard at stopping a snort from making its way out of his mouth. He doesn't succeed but it's the thought that counts. "You're awake because I kept getting messages and fidgeting because I was trying to sleep again."

"Oh," Sam pouts slightly at Kurt. Neither are quite sure why, but Kurt's just going with it. He places his hand on Sam's cheek and the latter leans into the touch a little bit. "Sebastian's going to be really lucky to have you as a boyfriend one day."

Kurt's eyes widen but he doesn't move. "I think you having no brain to mouth filter is very cute. I swear sometimes I swear you're not as straight as you claim." Apparently Kurt's brain to mouth filter isn't working either, today. Before he can take his words back, Sam snorts.

"All of you guys are so obsessed with labels, you know?"

Kurt raises his eyebrow. "So what you're saying is that-"

"What I'm saying is that I like people. I like it when people are smart because I'm not the sharpest bulb in the box." Kurt chooses to not comment on Sam's metaphor. The latter puts his arm underneath his head and looks up at Kurt through his lashes. "I like learning new things but I don't know how to go about and do it myself. I like learning new things from people I'm with. I like pretty people. Do you see what I'm doing, Kurt? I keep saying people. I just like_ people_."

Kurt stares at Sam for a split second. "I wish the world was more like you, Samuel Evans. It would be a much better place."

Sam shrugs and smiles shyly. The two lie in a comfortable silence until Kurt remembers why they ended up waking up.

**From Sebastian** (15:29): _Hollywood infected your brain; you wanted kissing in the rain…_

**From Sebastian** (15:31): _If it's not like the movies then that's how it should be. *Less than three*_

**From Sebastian** (15:32): _Don't be fooled by your emptiness, there's so much more room for happiness._

**From Sebastian** (15:35): _Upon a hill across a blue lake, that's where I had my first heartbreak._

**From Sebastian** (15:37): _There's actually a story for the last one, but that's for another time. What I meant through all of my insufferable lyrics that I'm sure you're rolling your eyes at is that you're going to be okay, kid. You're tough. You'll be good._

The first message makes him want to throw Sebastian into a volcano (filled with marshmallow fluff, obviously, that way he won't die but he still suffers) but the rest make him smile. That is until he reads the fifth text. He frowns at his phone and Sam rubs his arm soothingly.

"You okay?"

"Yeah," he sighs and looks through the messages one more time. At the rate he and Sebastian are going at, they could have their own little playlist done by _tomorrow_. Wait, they could – No. Kurt chides himself and rubs his temples in frustration towards his brain. You can choose you friends but not your brain. Kurt doesn't even see how that's remotely fair.

**From Kurt** (16:20): _I know it's late, and if you're busy I don't want you to feel obliged to, but would you like to come over for dinner?_

Sebastian barely waits 20 seconds before he types his reply.

**From Sebastian** (16:20): _Of course I would. My social life has evaporated since you and Alicia. You are my social lives. I'll start driving now. I hope you're feeling okay._

**From Kurt** (16:21): _I am feeling better, but I just really want to see you. Please drive safely for me?_

**From Sebastian** (16:23): _You know I always do._

**From Kurt** (16:23): _Thank you x_

Sebastian is so happy that he decided to take a shower earlier. Today's been a lazy day for him – and on those he rarely showers. He slips on a cardigan over his plain white t-shirt and his maroon Vans. He grabs his car keys, cleans his room as much as he can and makes his way out by 16:40. He's made sure to grab his camera – the Polaroid- and makes his way to Lima. He's got a plan he's almost one hundred percent sure Kurt is going to love/hate but that he's sure is going to make him smile.

Sebastian stations his ipod in the docking station instead of listening to the radio. He scrolls to his feel good playlist and puts it on shuffle.

_City lights don't shine as bright when we're apart, baby you have got the key to my heart_

When Rihanna's voice blasts through the speakers, he quickly skips the song. It's too soon after his conversation with Maxine, telling her about Kurt, to listen to songs like this.

_You make me so good to be around; feeling like you should won't get you down_

Sebastian wants to throw his ipod out of the window. He sighs deeply and changes the song once more as he reverses out of the Dalton parking lot. Framing Hanley blasts through the Porsche. Sebastian turns the volume up and slips his shades on.

The drive to Kurt's house is filled with more inappropriately selected songs but in the end, Sebastian makes it there by six pm. He has never been more grateful to own a car that moves at the speed of lightning.

He knocks on the door tentatively. He barely waits a minute before it opens to reveal a very dishevelled Kurt with an apron on. His smile is sad, but there is a smile. "I'm so happy you came."

Sebastian smiles, "I am too." He coughs uncomfortably as the sappiness that's seeping through his words. "So what's for dinner?"

Kurt beams and pulls Sebastian into the house – but he leaves his hand on the latter's waist as they walk to the kitchen. Sebastian's arm easily makes its way onto Kurt's shoulders. "Roast lamb and baked vegetables. I made Crème Brule for desert."

Sebastian whistles. "I can make Ramen and eggs."

"Wow," Kurt deadpans. "That's a life skill I wish I possessed. It's totally going to keep you alive when you're at Varsity and surviving all on your own."

"I always have takeout."

"Oh my god," Kurt rolls his eyes. "You're going to get so fat."

Sebastian shrugs. "Then I'll always have you."

Kurt's eyes widen a fraction and a small smile makes its way onto his face. Sebastian doesn't even seem to have realized what he's said because he's already made his way to the counter and is sitting comfortably. "That you do."

* * *

The songs I imaged Sebastian listening to are _Full Moon_ by the Black Ghosts and _For You_ by Tin Sparrow. My favourite song of all time is _For You_. Well, and _Always_ by Panic! At the Disco. Its one of those 'I can't articulate how awesome this is so…' type of songs. Go have a listen. I highly recommend them.

_Come What May_ was awesome. We all have to admit that. I saw a lot of people's inner (so basically none-existent) Klainer hearts make an appearance.


	9. Chapter 9

"I just told you how horrible a person I am." Blaine struggles to speak because his voice is muffled by Misty's cardigan. "Why are you hugging me?"

"Because you need a hug," She decides. "And I don't hate you," she pulls Blaine impossibly closer to her. "You made some really shitty mistakes – but people make mistakes, you know. I'm not condoning your behaviour at all because I think that it was very bad, what you did. But I understand that you're human, and I also understand what must be happening to you and what you must be feeling about yourself. You don't need me to hate you," she breathes deeply and Blaine scrunches her cardigan in his fingers. "But you do need someone to love you – and right now? I'm here for you so I will hug you until you're okay."

Blaine breathes deeply, willing his tears to go away. "I just don't know what t-to do. I didn't mean to and I-I-I just don't w-want him to be suffering r-right now b-b-because I-I'm an assclown."

"You're not an assclown. You're a little boy with no proper male role models in your life." She kisses his non-gel clad hair.

They sit in a comfortable silence for a while, with Blaine nestled under Misty's arm and they watch television. The conversation is simple, but not awkward.

_"Imagine having a baby at 16?"_

_"That would be me having a nine year old child."_

_"That would be me having a one year old."_

_"It's so strange. How does one take care of a child that early?"_

_"It just happens, I suppose."_

_"Yeah, some girls are so strong. They have babies and raise beautiful and independent adults, as they become independent, responsible adults. A baby changes things. But it's not always for the worse. It actually is rarely ever for the worse."_

_"Please have a baby before it's too late for me to be an older sibling?"_

_"Wow Blaine, way off track."_

_"I still want a baby sister. Preferably a girl, but any baby will do really."_

_"I'll just tell God that."_

When America's Next Top Model starts playing, Blaine's tears cascade silently down his face. This is Kurt's favourite show. Even though he and Kurt haven't officially broken up, he knows they will. Maybe he'll be lucky and – _no, stop._ Blaine just needs to stop. He mutes the TV and turns to face Misty.

"I just don't know how to deal with this." He breathes deeply. "I just- dad can't even help me because he doesn't even know me. How am I supposed to just - to fix this when I can't even talk to my own father about it? I don't even know if he even cares anymore and it just really sucks. Dad used to get so bad when he was drunk. I didn't want to be like that, but I already am." Blaine sighs. "I don't understand why it feels like I can never get a break. I'm always fucking up. Doesn't the universe have anyone else to mess with in the karma area?"

"I was like that," she breathes deeply, "but without my mom. She left Dad when I was four to be with some younger man. I was upset. I was always scared that I was going to be like Mom because she had never really been good commitments. And I swear to god Blaine, no matter what you might have thought before - I didn't just marry your Dad because he's rich. Age doesn't matter – I learned that because I saw my mother with her boyfriend eventually. They are so happy. I thought she just wanted a better deal or whatever - but she didn't. She was committed when it was important – and yeah it sucked that it wasn't me, but it's all about dedication. I really do love your father, Blaine. And both of us love you too. I hope you can love me one day."

Blaine sniffles and wipes away the last remnants of his tears. "I am going to love you." he pulls back from her embrace and looks at Misty straight in the eye. "I'm sorry I judged you before I even got to know you. I'm so grateful you didn't judge me because of what I did to myself and to Kurt, but I'm just so happy because I'm so afraid everyone's going to hate me if they find out. And I- I just – I am going to love you. I promise you that."

"That makes me happy." Misty smiles at Blaine and ruffles his hair. "Let's go get you cleaned up and we can make some tea."

"I don't like tea." Blaine protests and wipes his nose on his shirt sleeve earning a slight cringe from Misty.

"I don't care," she snorts. "I make the best cranberry green tea and you are obliged to drink it because I'm in charge."

"You're abusing your power."

"Yeah well," she shrugs. "I still make fucking amazing tea."

Blaine snorts, but because of all the crying he's been doing, he chokes momentarily. "What happened to you not swearing because of the whole parental thing?"

"That got old."

"Like you."

"That was a low blow, kid." She chuckles and shoves Blaine shoulder lightly.

* * *

"Oh hey kid," Burt nods in Sebastian's direction but continues his pilgrimage to the fridge for a beer.

"Hi Mr –"Sebastian shrinks into the counter when Kurt's father raises an eyebrow at him. "Sorry. Hi Burt, how are you?"

"I'm doing okay." Kurt glares at Burt from his spot behind the stove before he grabs the beer from his father's hands. "Okay," he sighs in a defeated tone. "I was good, but my kid is now taking away my happiness."

Sebastian snorts. "Kurt, give your dad the beer."

"It is unhealthy for his heart," he narrows his eyes at Sebastian and his father. "Besides, alcohol is bad. It makes people horrible. I think that all yeast should be removed from this Earth." Burt scrunches his nose his confusion and Sebastian looks at Kurt knowingly, albeit sadly.

"I hope you realize that I buy the beer." Burt complains. "And that it finishes without me drinking it."

Kurt has the decency to blush because he knows that those beers get downed by Finn and Puck. And Sebastian, his mind reluctantly supplies. Burt gives Kurt his patterned bitch glare (_like father like son_, Sebastian's mind supplies when he's suddenly using his will power to not fall off the counter because of his silent laughter) and walks out of the kitchen like a five year old that's been scolded after having been caught with their hand in the cookie jar.

Sebastian snorts. "One day, you're going look retrospectively at your life and laugh so hard at the situations you were once in."

Kurt rolls his eyes. "I don't think you're going to have such a clean slate either Sebastian Smythe."

"Yes well," Sebastian chuckles. "I'm going to love every minute of it."

Kurt sticks his tongue out at Sebastian and makes his way back to the stove to check on the food. They sit in a comfortable silence for a few minutes before Sebastian speaks.

"So, do you have a laptop?"

Kurt raises his eyebrow in mock offence. "Do you like to breathe air?"

"Ha ha," Sebastian narrows his eyes and deadpans. "You're so hilarious."

Kurt chuckles. "To answer your stupid, yet valid question, I do have a laptop."

Sebastian snorts. "That whole sentence felt like an oxymoron."

"You're an oxymoron."

"Fuck you, I'm getting away from my point." He rolls his eyes. "Anyways, I brought my camera," he points to the camera bag resting next to him on the counter, "and I brought my phone and my USB cable, so we're going to need a laptop."

Kurt looks at Sebastian sceptically. "Why do you have a camera and a USB cable?"

"You're so inquisitive," Sebastian shakes his head. "Have you ever heard the saying 'curiosity killed that cat?'"

Kurt scoffs. "You can't just come to my house with a camera and expect me not to ask you what you've got planned in that huge head of yours."

"In due time my little tadpole. You just wait." Sebastian rolls his eyes playfully. "And I _so_ don't have a huge head."

"You do too."

"Do not."

"I'm not even going to do this with you," Kurt chuckles. "We're not five."

"Corrections," a smug grin appears on Sebastian's face. "I'm not five and I don't have a big head."

"Shut up," Kurt groans.

"Make me."

"You're an insufferable little shit. I hope you know that."

Sebastian raises an eyebrow and pouts. "Oh please," in that moment when Sebastian flicks his wrist at Kurt, the latter is one hundred percent sure that Sebastian could not get any gayer if her tried. The wrist flick was very distracting and mild chuckle inducing, but Kurt's mind is in the gutter right now. "I'm an endearing little shit."

"Of course you are," Kurt snorts, hoping that the blush that he's sure is rising high on his cheeks can be blamed on the hot stove. He makes his way to where Sebastian is sitting and leans against the counter next to the latter. Unfortunately, Carole walks in as Sebastian ruffles Kurt's hair, earning a giggle and a playful swat from the latter. Carole squeals.

"You boys are so cute." She ruffles both of their hair, whilst she detangles her scarf from her neck with one hand and opens the fridge with another. She stops in her tracks and makes her way back to Kurt, raising his chin and examining his cheek. Her lips form a thing line, and just like that, the tension in the room is raised by one hundred notches. "What happened?"

"I ran into a pole." Kurt lies smoothly.

"I'm a nurse, Kurt. You did not."

Sebastian sighs. "We're dealing with it, Mrs Hudson-Hummel." Carole glares at Sebastian. "I mean Carole," he shrinks into himself, and Kurt would laugh but right now, his stepmother is scaring him.

"Okay," she sounds resigned. "I know you're responsible and that you'll deal with this the right way. But I don't want to see you hurt again," she kisses Kurt's other cheek and she melts into the embrace, what with Sebastian's arm that has made its way onto his upper arm a minute ago. "It makes me very angry."

"It's not going to happen again," Kurt supplies. "I'm going to deal with it."

She raises her eyebrow and smirks. "Deal with the pole?"

Sebastian snorts and Kurt chuckles. "Deal with the pole.

* * *

"Okay, since it's so late, I'm hoping that you're going to be staying here for the evening, Sebastian."

"Oh," Sebastian blushes. "I don't want to impose. And besides, I don't mind driving out this late – I get to drive my car at full speed without danger of getting caught by – _ouch_, that hurt." Sebastian glares at Kurt who's sitting next to him, the image of serenity and innocence etched on his face.

"I don't know what you're talking about," Kurt smiles menacingly.

Burt rolls his eyes at their antics, Sam long given up hope on the two getting their acts together. Carole smiles knowingly and continues on speaking. "You wouldn't be imposing dear. I actually insist you stay over."

"Okay," he smiles gratefully. "Thank you for letting me sleepover tonight."

Under the table, Kurt hooks his ankle around Sebastian's and continues eating his pasta alfredo. Sebastian looks at Kurt in his peripheral view, raising an eyebrow. Kurt shrugs and continues eating.

"When we finish eating, I'll just go get all the sheets and blankets you'll need and put them on the couch."

Carole drops her fork and Sam snorts. "Burt," she raises her eyebrow at her husband. "Sebastian will sleep in Kurt's room."

Now it's Burt's turn to snort. "No he won't. Not happening. Have you not seen what apparently Sam," he gestures comically at the boy, "and I have seen for two weeks?"

"And what might this be?" Kurt coughs, blush rising high up his cheeks.

Burt gives a look as if saying 'do you think I'm stupid?'

Kurt's eyes widen and Sebastian feigns a cough to hide his laugh. "What?"

"Oh come on," Sam chuckles. "Just let Sebastian sleep in Kurt's room Burt."

"Four against one, honey," Carole smirks.

"I don't even remember when this became such a big deal," Kurt face palms. Sebastian is at a loss of words. He merely sits there and blushes – afraid he might combust due to the inflammation of his cheeks. "And Sebastian and I side with neither of you. We are Switzerland."

Sam whispers so that no one will hear him, "I wouldn't speak for Sebastian if I were you."

Kurt kicks the former with his foot that isn't wrapper around Sebastian's. Sam bites his lip to muffle his cry, and Sebastian, seeing the exchange smirks in victory – as not being the only one that's experienced the wrath of Kurt Hummel in _Uggs_, for heaven's sake. He's been de-manned. Kurt claims they're not Uggs, of course. But nevertheless, he isn't the only one.

The playful banter progresses throughout the meal.

Kurt's ankle also stays hooked around Sebastian's for the duration of the meal.

* * *

Kurt stares wide-eyed with his jaw metaphorically touching the floor. Except he isn't really staring. No. he's just observing intently. Besides, even if he was staring – it wouldn't be his fault –because he never told Sebastian to wear sweats that ride that low and a shirt that does _that_ to his arms. Kurt is at a loss, but he's grateful that Sebastian hasn't seen him staring or things might get very awkward.

"Close your mouth. Flies are going to get into there."

Kurt jumps when Sam pats his ass and laughs. Kurt pouts and places his hands on his waist. "Do you think that scaring me is funny?"

"I didn't scare you. I was revving you out of your perverse state," Sam chuckles. "Imagine if Sebastian had stopped stretching – which he's not doing on purpose, if you were wondering-"Kurt glares, "and he had seen you looking like you want to ravish him on your kitchen counter. And then what would have happened?"

"I am not looking at him like I want to ravish him. I resent that," Kurt scoffs. He glances at Sebastian who's now sitting down and scrolling through television channels. Kurt should be getting some popcorn and drinks, but he's been distracted standing at the door of the kitchen. Sebastian turns around and glances in the direction of the kitchen. He smiles at Kurt when he sees him standing in the doorway and Kurt feels like if he died in that exact moment, everything would be fine because he got to see that smile.

Sam stands next to Kurt when Sebastian turns back to the television. It sounds like he's watching Teen Mom. Or Jersey Shore. You never know with all the screaming and shouting that goes on. "You really like him." It's not a question, a mere observation.

"I actually," Kurt pauses, takes a deep breath, and leans against the door. "I do. And I'm so terrified of liking him and it's not even _after_ Blaine."

Sam's eyebrows scrunch together and he watches Kurt pour two glasses of coke. "Why would you be terrified?"

"Sebastian doesn't _do relationships_, Sam." Kurt's eyebrows scrunch together and he picks up the two glasses. "And even if he did, I'm not his type. I'm girly looking and I'm pretty sure I'm in the permanent friend zone."

"Okay, that is such a load. He really likes you-"

"Ah ah," Kurt tuts, "Don't even try. I'm going to go watch Keeping up with the Kardashians with Sebastian."

Sam shrugs. "It's actually Jersey Shore."

Kurt chuckles. "Sam, how do you even know this?"

"I've been practising my Pauly D impersonation for a while," he beams at Kurt. "It's going well. But you can't hear it till it's perfected."

"Of course," Kurt smiles back. "I'll see you later, Sam."

"Later Kurt," Sam waves at Kurt but before the latter reaches the door, Sam whispers loudly. "And Sebastian totally likes you."

Kurt rolls his eyes and sits on the couch next to Sebastian with a look of incredulousness etched onto his face.

"I hate to break it to you," Sebastian drawls after he takes a sip of his coke and places his feet on Kurt's lap. "But you really look like you've just had botox."

Kurt glares at Sebastian. "Just because my family likes you, doesn't mean I do."

Sebastian sticks his tongue out at Kurt. "Except for the fact that you totally do like me."

The words are out before Sebastian or Kurt realizes they are – and when the recognition is made, both boys blush and stare at the television as to avoid any unnecessary glances and peeks through their eyelashes and in their peripheral vision. The silence is not dragged out, though it is slightly awkward.

"Okay, let's play twenty-one questions."

Kurt raises his eyebrow quizzically. "Why?"

"Because," Sebastian sits up, Indian style and rolls his eyes at Kurt. "I don't actually know that much about you, and you barely know anything about me. "

"I think I know a lot more about you than you think," Kurt chuckles. "But okay, I can do that. Let's play."

Sebastian snickers and Kurt throws a pillow at him. "You gave me that one for free, sweetheart."

"You're such a child," Kurt face palms.

"Yes." Sebastian grins. "I'm a child with lots of questions that need to be answered."

"You're such an odd person," Kurt sits up and mimics the way Sebastian's sitting. "But hit me with your best shot."

"_Fire away_-"

"You've got the concentration span of a teaspoon. Or an avocado."

Sebastian scoffs. "I ask, we both answer the question, and then you ask and we both answer the question."

"Got it," Kurt shifts his weight onto either side of his ass and claps his hands excitedly. "This is so exciting."

Sebastian chuckles. "What's your favourite colour?"

"Um," Kurt looks at the roof. Today, my favourite colour's probably green."

"Green?"

"Yup, green."

"Like the grass?"

"Why are you questioning my favourite colour?" Kurt asks, exasperatedly. "And no," he looks affronted, "not like grass – green like emerald."

"Ah," Sebastian acknowledges. "Well, mine is blue."

Kurt snorts. "That's so stereotypically boyish of you."

"And green isn't?" Sebastian raises his eyebrow.

"_Emerald _isn't. But _anyway_, before we get preoccupied in meaningless banter – who's your favourite relative?"

"My dad," Sebastian answers in a heartbeat. "He knows when to back off, when to not take my bullshit, and his semblance at a sex talk when I came out was the cutest thing I've ever experienced in my life considering he made reference to Star Wars."

Kurt stares open mouthed at Sebastian and then chuckles. "Your face is pricelessly adorable." He coughs, "My favourite relative is my Dad as well, but just merely because he's always tried so hard to understand me and to help me reach my goals and what not." He adds for last measures, "and my sex talk sucked. I stuck my fingers in my ears."

"You're such a prude," Sebastian snorts.

"He got pamphlets." Kurt deadpans.

"Oh," Sebastian's eyes widen. "I'm sorry."

* * *

Sam stands at the door of the kitchen watching the two interact. If there was ever a time he wanted to inflict physical violence upon someone, it would be now. He wishes he could just mesh their heads together so that Sebastian and Kurt would just _kiss _already. Their sexual tension even makes Sam aroused and it's rather frustrating.

He's kind of (by kind of, he means a hell of a lot) pissed off at Blaine for all he's done – but he doesn't condone the way Kurt behaved towards it okay, which he's made known. The point is that Kurt shouldn't have gone back to someone who nearly took advantage of him and attempted to serenade him to earn his forgiveness. It makes Sam want to run into a pole to think of the stupid decisions Kurt's made – but at the same time, the whole spectacle that is Kurt and Blaine brought the former and Sebastian closer. It makes him smile thinking about the fact that so much good can come out of bad.

Sam hopes that Kurt's going to open his eyes one day and just see how much Sebastian likes him. If he can see it, then Kurt has absolutely no excuse not to. He shakes his head and chuckles to himself when he sees Kurt flicking Sebastian's head when he changes the channel from the distraction of Jersey Shore to MTV, where a Lana del Rey video is being showed. This results in Kurt running his hand through Sebastian's hair in a mock ruffle. Sebastian leans into the touch and instinctively moves closer to Kurt, and _yeah, _Sam thinks. They're endgame, even if they don't know it yet.

* * *

That Monday, Blaine doesn't come to school and Kurt is bombarded with questions from Santana until he caves. Seems as though "I walked into a pole" doesn't work for anyone, but that's okay. He's okay with Sam, Santana, Finn and Sebastian knowing. Though it would be a given for Sam and Finn considering that they live with him, it still sucks.

After Sebastian went home yesterday, Kurt withstood the whole day of indirect but completely direct hints about him and Sebastian. He wasn't sure if he wanted to throttle them because of it, or cry because he wanted their assumptions to be true.

After school, Kurt decides that he is going to go Blaine's house. If he prolongs it, he's afraid he's going to spiral into a deep funk and lose the confidence he's got right now. He is on the brink of self-deprecation (and it's all due to him, as Sam has vigorously mentioned). Kurt feels like a paradox.

Sebastian is an enigma. Kurt can't seem to figure him out yet. But he likes that every so often Sebastian opens up and tells Kurt something about himself. Those moments are rare, and so valuable to Kurt that he holds onto ever single word uttered by the boy. Those moments are the things that make Sebastian _so_ incredible and perfectly imperfect. When Kurt looks back to when these moments happen, it makes him smile. He likes being trusted by the boy, and just like he adores that feeling he needs to learn to be trustworthy too.

Kurt needs to learn how to take care of himself, but he just doesn't know how to. So he figures talking to Blaine would be a good start. Blaine needs help, and Kurt knows that he can't be the one to offer the help, but that doesn't stop the need of being the one to be there for his almost ex-boyfriend go away. It just makes the need an incessant nag that will not go away until he makes sure, albeit via the grapevine, that Blaine will be trustworthy to someone who's perfect for him one day. All the thoughts make Kurt think even harder. He wonders if he tries hard enough, if he'll be perfect for Sebastian one day. A warm body presses up against his side, and he's effectively yanked from his train of thought.

"You never sit on the bleachers. You say they're full of germs and jock sweat."

"Yeah well," Kurt shrugs and allows the petite arm to wrap through his own. "This is the place that I thought no one would find me. So here I am."

"Are you okay?" Santana nuzzles into his side. "But I mean really okay. Not the half-hearted bull shit you keep spewing to other people when they tell you that you're looking a bit on the sad side."

"I'm not," Kurt answers honestly. "But I will be. I have you and Sam and Finn and…and Sebastian."

Santana chuckles, "I can't believe I haven't met this guy. You talk about him enough and your blush is definitely giving your thoughts away." Kurt scoffs and she rolls her eyes when she intertwines their fingers. "Are you going to go for it?"

"Not now." Kurt smiles internally. He didn't automatically say no. "I think I need to sort my shit out first. Get myself sorted and what have you. Then I'd have to see if he even likes me." He sighs. "Sebastian doesn't do relationships."

"He's not just like that," Santana answers quickly, understandingly. "Something happened. And he'll tell you when the time comes if you're as close as you sound. But don't you dare give up on him. I've never even see you get like this. Even when you used to talk to Blaine when you were at Dalton, it was never with so much – _feeling_."

Kurt doesn't know what to say, so he just leans his head on Santana's, which is perched on his shoulder.

For a moment, he notices her shiver slightly and press into him more. He detangles his fingers from hers, with a look of protest from the girl of course, and removes his own jacket to put it over her shoulders. He sits back down and intertwines their fingers again. She cuddles into his side.

"If we weren't both queer as three dollar bills, you'd be my boyfriend you know."

"Really?" he chuckles.

Santana sits up and looks Kurt in the eye. "You really would. And that's because that's exactly what you are, Kurt. You are boyfriend material. Not 'I'm going to mess with your feelings and fuck you up' material. _Boyfriend material. _And I don't want you to forget that you're special and that you deserve so much more than what this crappy world has given you." She shrugs and goes back to her former position. "You're destined for so much."

Kurt manages to hold back the tears, _barely_. "You're pretty special, San. You're not going to be stuck in Lima either, you know." He throws his arms around her. "You're going to go to New York and you're going to live your dream. And I'm going to be practically living with you because I'll be coming over so much."

"Well that's definitely a plan I'm down with," she chuckles. "Or," she starts, looking up at Kurt with her thick lashes. "You could just live with me."

Kurt smiles at her and widens his eyes the slightest bit at the surprise from the statement. But it shouldn't really be a surprise. Who did he think he was going to live with in New York? Rachel? That's not even going to happen. Santana and Kurt have gotten very close recently, but he never gave himself a chance to think about how close. Yes, Alicia is one of his best friends, but she's more Sebastian's friend than Kurt's. Santana is Kurt's best friend, just like Sebastian is. Because that's the least Kurt can start doing for himself now – being honest to himself.

"You know, I think that if we lived together, it would be absolutely brilliant."

Santana beams at him. Kurt loves this smile. The smile where her eyes sparkle and dimples on her upper cheek appear for a few seconds and these moments are the moments that Kurt knows he's doing a good job being a friend.

"So, you're still intent on NYADA, aren't you?"

"I am. But I'm starting to think about other options. What if I don't get it?" he shrugs. "I have to have a back-up plan or else I'll be screwed. There's no way I'm going to stay in Lima because I didn't think to apply anywhere else."

"Berry's doing that because she says that she'd be jinxing herself if she applied elsewhere – because then she'd be convincing herself she's not good enough for NYADA."

"Yes well," Kurt shrugs. "We all have different aspirations."

Santana gives a small nod. She checks the time on her phone and sighs, almost gratefully. "Free period is over in 20 minutes then we have the last period, but Mrs Mariner isn't here today so it's just the substitute."

"All he's good for is looking at," Kurt snorts.

Santana's shoulders shake with laughter. "Oh, you'd be so right if I was the slightest bit inclined that way. But he is very pretty," she winks. "Let's go get coffee before we go to class. I have Cheerio's practice till six pm today because Nationals are around the corner." She cringes. "I need a triple espresso yesterday."

Kurt rolls his eyes and allows himself get pulled up by Santana. He pulls down his sweater and flattens imaginary creases on his skinny jeans. Santana holds out her hand and Kurt intertwines his with hers. They make their way to the parking lot, albeit sneakily, and grab coffee at the coffee shop ten minutes from the school. It's nowhere near as good as the Lima Bean, but it'll suffice. They have really nice biscuits, so Kurt and Santana split one in half and share it.

* * *

It's moments like this, when the rain suddenly starts pouring like the world is about to end and he and Santana are getting soaked, running through the school to make it to class that he'll cherish the most. They giggle the whole way to world history and make it in record time, barely catching the bell.

Kurt takes a deep breath and rings the door bell. He waits. 2 seconds, 5 seconds, 10 seconds, 20 seconds –, "I'm coming, just hold on for a bit." Blaine's voice shouts from inside the house. Kurt internally shrinks into himself when he hears keys jingle. This is it.

The door opens. Blaine drops the keys. Kurt picks them up.

"Hey Blaine, how are you?"

Blaine's mouth opens and closes – at a loss of words. "Do you want to come in?"

"Okay," Kurt shrugs and walks into the house before Blaine does.

"Do you want me to get you anything to drink?" Blaine asks tentatively. There's lemonade, orange juice, soda, teas-"

Kurt interrupts. "Blaine," he places his arm on the latter's arm. "Don't do this. Please don't make this harder for both of us than it needs to be."

Blaine looks down at his feet and when he blinks up again there's a sheet of tears coating his eyes, just needing that blink to come spiralling down. "I can't even begin to tell you how sorry I am. Kurt, I am so sorry." Some tears stay stuck on Blaine's eyelashes, other's do not. "I just wish I could show you how much because I don't think I'm getting another chance."

"I'm sorry," Kurt frowns and attempts to comfort Blaine from where he's standing. He nearly falls over when Blaine flings himself at him, clinging desperately onto his jacket. Kurt can feel Blaine's tears on his neck. He lets him cry, eventually manoeuvring the two of them onto the couch. Kurt holds Blaine, all cautious nature gone the moment Blaine started crying.

"Sh," Kurt coos. "It's going to be fine. We're going to find you help, I swear."

Blaine pulls back from Kurt looking heartbroken. "I don't need help," he barely manages to choke out. "Why would I need help?"

"Blaine," Kurt says it gently, but firmly at the same time. "You have a drinking problem and we need to sort that out. And I understand that –"

"No." Blaine stares wide-eyed at Kurt. "You don't understand. I've become exavtly what I didn't want to become when I was younger. I tried so hard to be the best at everything and so that I wouldn't be like dad when he drank – but I am. And you don't understand that because _your family is fucking perfect_." Blaine just about shouts the last line, his chest heaving and his tears cascading down his face.

"Don't you dare raise your voice like," Kurt snarls. "I tried so hard, Blaine. I'm trying now – but you can't keep comparing your situation to other situations. I'm sorry about what happened, okay? I'm so, so sorry that your mom died in that horrible accident and that your dad shut you out afterwards," he moves himself forward and wraps an arm around Blaine, who still hasn't given up the mission to push Kurt away.

Kurt continues, squeezing Blaine a little harder so that the boy doesn't move. "I'm sorry that I couldn't have done more as your boyfriend to ensure that you weren't feeling like this." Kurt sighs when Blaine finally goes lax in his arms. "Everyone makes mistakes – but who hasn't heard of 'forgive and forget' right? I'm not promising I'm going to forget, but I do forgive you. You need help Blaine. You _need_ to start somewhere."

"Kurt," Blaine looks up and Kurt and the expression he's harbouring nearly tears Kurt's heart into two pieces. "I don't want to lose you."

Kurt lets a few of his own tears slip down his face. "I know." What Kurt doesn't say is that Blaine might have lost him a while ago. What he does is hold Blaine closer and comfort the boy, running his hands through the thick curls that he's decided to leave un-gelled.

Blaine is always leaning into his touch. When he's finally calmed down, he pulls back from Kurt and looks at him. Kurt doesn't even bother to wipe away the evidence that he's been crying.

Kurt runs a hand through Blaine's hair and kisses his forehead. "You know I'm always going to love you," he whispers. "But I can't love you like before. This is too self-destructive."

"I don't want it to be," Blaine pouts. "I can get better." He knows this is a long shot, but he's going to try his utmost hardest right now to not let go of the best thing that's ever happened. When Kurt doesn't say anything, Blaine scoots closer to him on the couch. His voice is barely a whisper. "You said you'd never say goodbye to me."

"Blaine," Kurt sighs. "You can't be doing this right now. It's not fair. You know I love you, but you also know it's not good for either of us." he places his hand on Blaine's knee. "You need someone who knows how to be with you."

Blaine frowns slightly, but nods in agreement. "Can I have one last kiss?"

Kurt wants to say no, but instead he thinks about how this is for closure. This is goodbye. He doesn't say anything, but instead leans in so that their noses are barely touching.

Blaine lets out a shaky breath, but doesn't move. He wants Kurt to do this how he wants – he wants to feel the passion and the love. He wants to feel loved. It might be for the last time, it might not, but right now, Blaine needs this.

When their lips touch, tears fall down both their faces. Kurt presses harder against Blaine's lips, which are plaint under his. Blaine exhales through his nose. He angles his head at a better angle for Kurt and they kiss. They could have kissed for five seconds. They could have kissed for five minutes. When Kurt pulls back, he swallows the rapidly growing lump in his chest. It's finally happened, but he feels like he's breaking into a million pieces.

"I have to go." He says hurriedly. He stands up, pausing to run a hand through Blaine's hair one more time. "I can't be here right now."

Blaine nods dejectedly and looks down at his feet.

"You're going to find someone who's perfect for you. You don't even know how much I wanted to be that person for you, but you will find him. You're so important to me."

Blaine doesn't look up. It's too much right now.

Kurt walks towards the door, turning around one last time. "You matter, Blaine. I don't you ever forget that."

Kurt doesn't hear Blaine's hoarse whisper of _don't leave me_.

When Kurt gets into his car, he wipes his tears away. He knows that it was his decision to break-up, but it doesn't mean it hurts any less.

It hurts to think that his and Blaine's kiss is the only one that's felt genuine in over a month.

* * *

See? I'm alive. I'm sorry for taking forever.


	10. AUTHOR NOTE - Please read

Hey guys!

I'll be posting this on my other story as well, so yeah duplicate.

So, I'm sorry I haven't been updating, but things have been quite busy and a little tough. I have been writing, mind you, but school and family has really come in the way. I wish I could be one of those authors that updates every single week, but I promise I will always do what I can without straining myself, because I don't really think that would be fair.

So, I haven't given up on this story. Or any of mine. Or ignoring anyone on tumblr. I do see your messages and they make me smile though. I just don't have a laptop right now because mine broke, so I use my Mom's. I know, I know.

Do send in prompts and reviews if you can. I'm going to get back on my feet with a bang so everything will just be posted at once. I just need to sort myself out so I'll be going on hiatus for two months or so.

I'm so sorry for inconveniencing you and if you stick with my story, I'm going to make it worth while for you. I'm not giving up. Just a little hiatus to sort out my life and pretend to enjoy my birthday on the 26th. I'm one of _those_ people.

Have good weekends. You deserve it. I'll see you as soon as I can.

I have so much love for you all. x


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